BK Gal Posted April 21, 2004 Share Posted April 21, 2004 So ever since my boyfriend has returned from a visit to see his mother (who he has major issues with) he's been totally moody. We've been together for almost 7 months and we've had our share of fights but lately we've been arguing a lot more[i am in no way putting all the blame on him as I am hardly the perfect girlfriend]. The night after he returned home, we hung out and he got drunk and after talking about how he hated his mom, he then confessed to me that he thinks that subconciously he's been pushing me away because he's afraid I'm going to hurt him. Now that I know this, I've been noticing it (or maybe I'm just paranoid now). Just little things that he doesn't do anymore, and the way he's been acting distant. He seems depressed too, but he won't talk to me about it because he doesn't talk about emotions (unless drunk that is) because he says he's been brought up to deal with those things on his own and keep them to himself. I can understand that, but the lack of communication is really putting a strain on our relationship especially during our arguments when I'm trying to talk things out and get to the bottom of what's bothering him. His birthday is in 3 weeks and his mother is supposed to be coming out here to visit him. I'm afraid her visit will send him into a worse mood, but I'm even more afraid of how he'll react if she cancels (which she's prone to doing). I love my boyfriend very much, but I can't help him if he won't tell me what's wrong. And if I suggest that something is wrong, he'll get defensive and then we'll get into another fight. I want to just give him space to sort it all out, but I know if I even mention that he'll think I'm trying to dump him. I guess I'm also just tired of feeling like too much of a burden to him right now. I want to resolve these issues so we can move on, but it's kinda hard when it's a one sided effort, ya know? Link to post Share on other sites
reasontosigh Posted April 21, 2004 Share Posted April 21, 2004 Just little things that he doesn't do anymore, and the way he's been acting distant. He seems depressed too, but he won't talk to me about it because he doesn't talk about emotions (unless drunk that is) because he says he's been brought up to deal with those things on his own and keep them to himself. Could very well be depression. His doctor can determine that for certain. Since it's a blood test, he doesn't really have to bring up specifics about what's on his mind. Not for that, anyway. I understand your need to get things resolved, but the only ones you should be directly involved with those that are strictly between him and you. His issues with his mother are best addressed by a counselor. You will wear yourself out trying to play both roles - girlfriend and counselor, that is. Being brought up to deal with things on one's own and to keep them to oneself will wear him out as well, if it hasn't already. I'm thinking that is what is currently happening. There is no shame in going to a counselor - that's what they're there for - just like asking a lawyer for legal advice. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
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