dissolved_girl Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 I've stumbled across this forum by accident because recently the 'ex' has been plaguing my mind....I say recently but it's been floating through my head for quite some time now, basically I was seeing this guy who had been in our group of friends and I had always fancied him so thought I had struck gold but of course he then says the old line...'let's just be friends,don't want a relationship yada yada'..Rejected big time and it made me feel like crap but he worked away so thought to myself, maybe it's just because he has so far to travel for work and that's why he doesn't want a relationship...fast forward 3 months at a mutual friends birthday and he starts his game with me but we end it with no words and that's him working again until another mutual gathering and he pours everything out that he just wants it casual and that he felt guilty by the way he treated me but still likes me and wants to see where it goes...I had grown up by this point and realised I was much more than that, even though I said to...lets call him 'P'...that yeah sure whatever lets do that then...I had then met a wonderful man who wanted to be with me...and I fell in love with him...not the 'oh my god he is so hot I fancy him way'...but a proper best friend I want to marry him and be with him way...so after 'P' finds out that I am unavailable he turns on me...every meeting that I had with him after I got together with my boyfriend he's been nice to my face when others are around,flirting with me..and on one occasion when it was just the 2 of us he told me to break up with my current boyfriend, that i'm too young for a relationship and that I should be on my own...he has also been very rude to my boyfriend so that's the outline of it...the real problem is now that I live down the road from him and I can't seem to get him out of my head...I still feel like that silly girl way of fancying him and having the fantasy of us being together,(i've bumped into him a few times now) even though I know he was just using me but i see him everywhere...and it's hard to get him out of my head for once and for all since I'm happy with my boyfriend...but then I think my initial reason of going out with my boyfriend was to make 'P' jelous...which worked...but now...I'm confused...thinking I'm just trying to kid myself on that I do truly love my boyfriend...or just trying to heal myself of this horrible rejection...this has been a rant but if there's anyone out there that can help me I would appreciate it...my friends just say the usual stuff and tell me to get over it..which I know I should..it's just hard Link to post Share on other sites
childishregrets Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 rejection has a way of gripping us, turning a situation on its head. I dont think its fair on your boyfriend to be honest if it was me i would be devastated u saw me as a omg i dont fancy him kind of guy yet talked about marriage.I would feel you settled for me and that would kill me inside girl. The guy u pine over had a chance and still has one if he wanted, thiers no real bad blood is there? did u shut the door on his face? and why did he not pour out sooner about what his intentions are? u cannot just say hey breakup with your current b/f your too young for a relastionship.He needs to come clean and be truthful about why he wants you first. It sounds like maybe he doesnt see you as the omg i fancy her kind of girl?I know if it was me and u and i liked you i would not play those games and state outright that i wanted to date you as u were beautiful etc U need to be careful though as you could lose everyone here.does ur B/F not show u more affection to stop u pining for this other guy? If not talk to him! sit down and be honest and open its the only way. Hiding feelings is just wrong and so is being with someone u dont 100% love either.I hope it didnt sound harsh as i dont want to be i just want you to see from different perspectives. Link to post Share on other sites
childishregrets Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 (edited) Hey thanks for the reply it means a lot to me and my typing is awful as well in my post so dont worry about it...I doubt the grammar police patrol loveshack forums Yor post still baffles my mind about what to do and why he has never texted since then or made a proper effort to explain why or what he wanted from you.Are you sure he will even give you a long term relationship if thats what u want? U need to study this for a week or so before you send that text but your B/F is clearly going to suspect something shortly as im sure your not yourself right now with all these doubts going through your mind.Infact screw the text, something like this cant be done via sms u need to see thier eyes, the look on thier face and u will know just how much you are valued from that. Have you considered space from both of these guys? Right now it seems to me that theres a chance neither of these guys are right for you but it will seriously piss off your B/F though that u never talked it over with him but if you do as well he will know your are thinking elsewhere. Follow ur heart i reckon just dont blame me though if it doesnt go how you want it too! Edited July 5, 2011 by childishregrets Link to post Share on other sites
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