Dreamer Posted September 4, 2000 Share Posted September 4, 2000 Hello everyone! I haven't written anything in a long while. Hope everyone is having a good holiday! I am having some fun this weekend. I do have something that has been on my mind in the past week. (For Tony, Taressa, Mon and Emps): Do you guys remember my sitch? It was with the 5.5 year relationship...we were going to work things out...then he took off with ex to Vegas...i was to blame for him not having a good time and all...then we ended our relationship? Well, about a week ago he started calling me. We saw each other face to face and i told him that i was doing fine. Because i still felt for him, i told him that the only way he could ever come back are by these conditions: I come first, not his friends, or ex girlfriends; I deserve better and now expect better from him or anyone else; I do not trust him, so it will be very hard for me to trust him - he has to do a damn good job to earn it; we need to go to counseling. Then I asked him why he wants me, and he said a whole list of reasons why. He wants to try to work this out, even with my conditions, but we have to go slow. Tony: you have always been forward, and I need that right now. Should I try one more time? 'Cause honestly, I don't know if I can handle another let down, if one ever came around again. I am confused, because I was doing better. Anyway, when you all get a chance....Thanks! Dreamer Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted September 4, 2000 Share Posted September 4, 2000 No, you won't like my forwardness. As I recall the two of you were having problems and he agreed to work with you on them...then he went to Vegas with his ex and her kid on a trip that the two of you were supposed to go on. So things didn't work out with his ex and he comes back to you because he is lonely. You still have feelings for the butthole who has hurt you profusely. You give him all these pie in the sky rules and he just shakes his head so he can get back in your good graces and have you around until he can find someone else to cheat with. Yes, you can take him back and give it a whirl. You have already admitted you won't be able to trust him for a good while. I don't see how you can be around him under those circumstances but love causes us to make some pretty serious concessions sometimes. I've done the same thing. I really hope this works out for you...but if it was me, I wouldn't want to ever see his face again. But I can say that because I am not in love with him....THANK GOD!!! You REALLY ARE a Dreamer!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Deejette Posted September 5, 2000 Share Posted September 5, 2000 I wouldn't give him a second chance. Underneath it all, your memories will still be fresh in your mind about how he ditched you for his ex. It'a too much of a blow to your pride to ever be able to bask in the warmth of his love or to feel secure in his affections. That doubt, over time, can build up to some serious anger when he looks like he is not paying as much attention to you as you need from a loving mate. No, you won't like my forwardness. As I recall the two of you were having problems and he agreed to work with you on them...then he went to Vegas with his ex and her kid on a trip that the two of you were supposed to go on. So things didn't work out with his ex and he comes back to you because he is lonely. You still have feelings for the butthole who has hurt you profusely. You give him all these pie in the sky rules and he just shakes his head so he can get back in your good graces and have you around until he can find someone else to cheat with. Yes, you can take him back and give it a whirl. You have already admitted you won't be able to trust him for a good while. I don't see how you can be around him under those circumstances but love causes us to make some pretty serious concessions sometimes. I've done the same thing. I really hope this works out for you...but if it was me, I wouldn't want to ever see his face again. But I can say that because I am not in love with him....THANK GOD!!! You REALLY ARE a Dreamer!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Brian Posted September 5, 2000 Share Posted September 5, 2000 You both need to tell your guys how you feel...that you have no maternal instincts and that you are two of the most selfish self centered individuals in the world. The men and the kids will be better off w/o either of you woman!!! I wouldn't give him a second chance. Underneath it all, your memories will still be fresh in your mind about how he ditched you for his ex. It'a too much of a blow to your pride to ever be able to bask in the warmth of his love or to feel secure in his affections. That doubt, over time, can build up to some serious anger when he looks like he is not paying as much attention to you as you need from a loving mate. Link to post Share on other sites
Deejette Posted September 6, 2000 Share Posted September 6, 2000 Brian, I don't understand what you are talking about here. We were discussing her man coming back to her after going to Vegas with his ex! People can be unselfish and help others and still chose not to repopulate the earth. Look at Mother Theresa, she didn't have children and she helped more people than all the PTA mothers in the world. You both need to tell your guys how you feel...that you have no maternal instincts and that you are two of the most selfish self centered individuals in the world. The men and the kids will be better off w/o either of you woman!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Taressa Posted September 6, 2000 Share Posted September 6, 2000 Hi Dreamer, I think you can base your decision on his reaction when you told him how much he hurt you by leaving for Las Vegas with another woman... you DID tell him how that made you feel, right? If he showed repentance and seemed genuinely sorry for what he did to you, it might be worth another try. You've made a smart start by placing these inital rules or boundaries. Stick to your guns and make sure you assign penalties such as time apart in case he breaks the rules... a rule without enforcement is worthless. As to the hurt... chances are you will be hurt again. We're talking about a pretty big inconsiderate act on his part. It will take a LOT of work for him to grow up and start caring about others' feelings. I would be most happy to hear you decided to leave him, rebuild your confidence, and reconnect with your friends, but if you truly want and if you truly believe he was repentent for the hurt he caused, you may have a chance to rebuild. Stay strong. Make him suffer the consequences of his next inconsiderate act. Hello everyone! I haven't written anything in a long while. Hope everyone is having a good holiday! I am having some fun this weekend. I do have something that has been on my mind in the past week. (For Tony, Taressa, Mon and Emps): Do you guys remember my sitch? It was with the 5.5 year relationship...we were going to work things out...then he took off with ex to Vegas...i was to blame for him not having a good time and all...then we ended our relationship? Well, about a week ago he started calling me. We saw each other face to face and i told him that i was doing fine. Because i still felt for him, i told him that the only way he could ever come back are by these conditions: I come first, not his friends, or ex girlfriends; I deserve better and now expect better from him or anyone else; I do not trust him, so it will be very hard for me to trust him - he has to do a damn good job to earn it; we need to go to counseling. Then I asked him why he wants me, and he said a whole list of reasons why. He wants to try to work this out, even with my conditions, but we have to go slow. Tony: you have always been forward, and I need that right now. Should I try one more time? 'Cause honestly, I don't know if I can handle another let down, if one ever came around again. I am confused, because I was doing better. Anyway, when you all get a chance....Thanks! Dreamer Link to post Share on other sites
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