deesgirl Posted April 21, 2004 Share Posted April 21, 2004 Most men (and some women) say that there is nothing wrong with strip clubs and porn. That it is just how men are wired and we should just accept it. Men are visual and these things are what turns them on. When women like me ask how you would feel if your wife or gf was doing the same things, most men say they wouldn't care. The thing is, it is not normal for women to frequent strip clubs (how many are there for women compared to the ones for men?) and I mostly only read on here about women that look at porn alone. If this is what turned most women on, there would be more strip clubs for women and more porn geared toward women. I've also noticed that men say it wouldn't bother them, but their actions can tell a different story. I don't think they would feel the same if they were often faced with their SO hiding mags with close to perfect, nude men, getting up in the night to look at other men on the computer, and wanting girls night out to include male reviews. This is only my opinion, but women have different turn-ons than men. Men are turned on visually, women like to turn men on visually. Even if it's okay if your SO does the same things you do, what if that isn't her turn-on? What if she wants to be the stripper or the woman that all the men want to look at? Women and men are taught that men are always going to want to look at other women whether it be porn, strip clubs, or the hotty walking down the street. But if we want to turn other men on 'just for fun', we are called many choice words and have to control our behavior. It's not that I want to be a stripper or a porn star, but if I can control myself and my urges, why do I have to accept that most men shouldn't have to? Do any other women feel this way, or is it just me? Link to post Share on other sites
girl23 Posted April 22, 2004 Share Posted April 22, 2004 i agree with you 100%!!! it's okay to go to stripclubs and be turned on by the women but if you are the women turning on other men they will get jealous and call you horrible names OR what if you get turned on looking at men (hiding it somewhere they won't find it or don't tell them that you went for some drinking with the girls and then you decided that you'll just sit in a stripclub and perv over all the sexy men there) they will also know what it feels like to be insecure!! Link to post Share on other sites
Pyrannaste Posted April 22, 2004 Share Posted April 22, 2004 Agree If your boyfriend has the right to watch tons of porn, you have the right of being unconfortable with it, AND the right to put porn pics of yourself on the internet (making sure no one who sees your pics can contact you, and that no one that knows you can see them). If your boyfriend has the right to go to strip clubs, you have the right of being unconfortable with it, AND the right to get naked and dance in front of strangers. If your boyfriend has the right to get a lap dance, you have the right of being unconfortable with it, AND the right to give a stranger a lap dance. If your boyfriend has the right to go to a topless beach and gawk at the ladies, you have the right of being unconfortable with it, AND the right to go along with him(ot at another beach on your own) wearing only a thong topless swimsuit. These are, once again, personal opinions. Link to post Share on other sites
Stone Posted April 22, 2004 Share Posted April 22, 2004 Originally posted by deesgirl If this is what turned most women on, there would be more strip clubs for women and more porn geared toward women. Speaking from experience The reason the are not many clubs geared twards women is because we won't stupidly drop our paychecks to look at sexy men. the club I worked at made over 20K a night, because men think if you spend enough money your going to get some.......but they are often left empty with buldging pants. Link to post Share on other sites
wideawake Posted April 22, 2004 Share Posted April 22, 2004 Hey stone, I'm curious, what was a big night for you as far as cash? And how much do you think you took home a year? Link to post Share on other sites
Stone Posted April 22, 2004 Share Posted April 22, 2004 My last night I made 10k ( not common..........Never wen't back after that) I probably took home75K a year working only 2-3 nights a week, Luckily I am smart with my money and invest and pay taxes other girls can make that and have nothing to show for it ( DRUGS) Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted April 22, 2004 Share Posted April 22, 2004 The reason the are not many clubs geared twards women is because we won't stupidly drop our paychecks to look at sexy men. LOL! That is a very loaded sentence! Link to post Share on other sites
Author deesgirl Posted April 22, 2004 Author Share Posted April 22, 2004 To the women: What turns you on more? Male reviews, porn, or turning on guys? I've been to a couple of male reviews and I can't say I was turned on. It was funny, but not a sexual turn-on. Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted April 22, 2004 Share Posted April 22, 2004 Originally posted by deesgirl To the women: What turns you on more? Male reviews, porn, or turning on guys? None of the above. Loving attention and pampering from my husband turns me on. When he kisses the back of my neck I'm a goner. Link to post Share on other sites
wideawake Posted April 22, 2004 Share Posted April 22, 2004 I probably took home75K a year working only 2-3 nights a week holy crap. That's amazing. The part that really got me was the "2-3 nights a week". WOW. Thanks for the info, I was going to guess around 50K, and I'm really surprised it was more than that... Luckily I am smart with my money and invest and pay taxes other girls can make that and have nothing to show for it ( DRUGS) Good for you SH, that's really nice to hear, especially that you didn't blow it all up your nose. Link to post Share on other sites
Stone Posted April 22, 2004 Share Posted April 22, 2004 LOL.......No nose candy for me I am a good girl! Link to post Share on other sites
Pyrannaste Posted April 22, 2004 Share Posted April 22, 2004 Originally posted by deesgirl To the women: What turns you on more? Male reviews, porn, or turning on guys? None of the above. Unless the guy I'm turning on is my bf! Or the naked man in front of me is my bf Link to post Share on other sites
Stone Posted April 22, 2004 Share Posted April 22, 2004 I don't like male reviews the guys are hot yes but the act more feminine! and get really sweatty (yuck) don't want sweat dripping on me. ( i love watching the seinor citicens go nuts though) I hate to admit it but turning guys on gets me going nothing like sexual power! Link to post Share on other sites
Author deesgirl Posted April 22, 2004 Author Share Posted April 22, 2004 Stone, I agree. The guys all seem gay. Nothing wrong with gay, unless you're a straight woman;) I don't want a sweaty stranger near me either. The place I went to, you had to give them a buck to make them go away...lol And what's with those rings they wear (you know on what)? That alone takes the excitement out. This is off topic, but I had another post in the marriage section and it's gone. It was 'Men and first loves'. Does anyone know why it might have been deleted? Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted April 22, 2004 Share Posted April 22, 2004 Don't ask me why I know this, but the rings a lot of the male 'performers' wear around their penis is to help maintain a partial erection and manage the blood flow so that the penis seems more engorged for their audience. Men can't keep it up all the time and they have a lot of performances to do. Its a job to them and they don't always get a sexual thrill out of it. Just a tidbit of info. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t37401/?highlight=Men+and+First+Loves Oh, your thread was moved to a different section since it was more relationship and not marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
Author deesgirl Posted April 22, 2004 Author Share Posted April 22, 2004 Thanks, Hokey! I had heard that the ring was to keep them from getting hard...lol Thanks for telling me where to find my post too. I thought it had just been deleted. Link to post Share on other sites
bye2past Posted April 23, 2004 Share Posted April 23, 2004 Evening all...please allow me to add a male voice to this in our defense... There is definitely a fundamental difference between men and women. When women go to strip clubs, they do it for fun and for the novelty. When men go, they can become so aroused that they have to relieve themselves. It's a biological thing -- we honestly can't help that, so please pardon us for being that way! It has nothing to do with how much we love you. With that being said, there are plenty of guys who are NOT that interested in strip clubs. Even though I had (and still have) a huge sex drive, I went to a club when I was 21 and was unmoved. Sure, the women were beautiful, but so what? The fantasy of having sex with them was stronger than the desire to actually HAVE sex with them. I assure you, I'm not the only guy who thinks this way. Now because we experience these strong feelings, we need to deal with them in one way or another that can A) satisfy us, and B) respect you. Which leads me to... A lot of guys I know in wonderful relationships look at porn as merely a sexual outlet. Some guys just look at it to satisfy their wandering eye. Ask yourself, which would you rather - your man masturbating to porn on the internet, or actually seeing other women to release the sexual tension? Don't feel inadequate in comparison. We generally don't compare you to porn stars, because you're not a porn star. I say we don't "generally" compare you because we WILL compare you if we feel there is something lacking in the relationship. If you're really worried about it, I would suggest being more adventurous in bed. I used to be a porn freak until I met my fiancee. She's very open to anything sexually, and once my sexual desires were consistently satiated, my "porn days" were over in a hurry. Did you know that every guy looks at porn differently? One guy may love a particular woman's lips, and another may be totally focused on her butt. What does your signifcant other like? I know a lot of women don't like this, but let me tell you...oral sex goes a looong way. It's hard for a man to resist a woman who likes giving oral sex. This is part of the attraction to the porn stars online. These women will have oral, anal, facials, etc., until we are satisfied. Do you have that kind of sexual relationship with your significant other? Do you really know what he wants? Or do you think he just wants "sex" all the time? Again, if you're worried, I'd strongly suggest experimenting in bed with him. Surprisingly, he may be resistant at first, because his idea of you until now hasn't included "adventurous." Your goal here is to replace the porn spot in his brain with you. I don't mean be a "slut," even if that's what you think we like. It's not. We don't want you to be a slut. We want you to be YOU, but be a sex freak like us. Really, it's less important that you actually DO have "exotic" sex with us than that you're willing to TRY. If you're completely close-minded about exotic sex, that will automatically force us to look elsewhere to satisfy our fantasies, whether it's porn or whatever. If you honestly try with us (even if you didn't like it with an ex), and you still honestly don't like it, then it's no big deal. We can definitely accept that and very much love that you tried. BUT, if your guy puts more importance on having anal sex (or whatever) with you than being with you, you're not with the right guy. Look, bottom line: if we love you, we don't want to hurt you. Therefore, if anal sex really hurts too much, then of course we won't want to do it either. (A quick note on anal sex: first, I don't why I keep talking about it, second, it really DOES get easier the more you try. Remember - be sexually open. We like experimentation. And you can bet that if you've done anything sexually exotic with an ex, we want at least the same treatment. In other words, whatever you did in the past with that tall-dark-and-handsome from Italy, we want it too. Anything less suggests you don't want us as much as you want Sergio. No matter HOW young and stupid you say you were.) On a kind of tangent, I think it's important you know of another aspect of the male psyche that a lot of women have a tendency to shy away from. TELL US HOW TO PLEASE YOU. We would much rather practice being able to completely satisfy you and be your sexual king, than have you talk about us to your friends (especially guy friends, ugh) behind our backs. We know you do it anyway, but we want to minimize the damage. We'd rather have you talk about how good we are in bed than how we don't do such-and-such anymore. Educate us. We WANT to know! If you think your guy isn't worth all of this effort, or he seems rather nonchalant, or even pissed about your efforts, then you are definitely not with the right guy. There are plenty of great guys who would love to know (or learn how to) push all your right sexual buttons. And do us a favor...don't go looking for this button-pusher while you're in a relationship with us, okay? We may sometimes be simple, but we don't deserve that (and we know you don't either!). Link to post Share on other sites
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