Friend seeking to get off of crystal meth

[Meth friend]

MY girlfriend and I have a friend who wants to stop his crystal meth habit, but does not know where to start. He is in counselling, and in a group, but would like ideas to work on by himself as well.He's cut down his usage signifigantly, but he could use some inspiration and stories. He said some of the best stuff he has read outlines day to day plans for >>>>not<<<< doing meth. His friends don't really understand, we keep thinking it's a matter of will power, but it's really not. Are there new chemicals that can help him maybe?

 

Please do not suggest religion; people have no idea how many addicts will not seek out Anonymous groups because of the attached religion. We know him from an atheists' group, as a matter of fact, so, with no offense intended, this will not be helpful.

 

Has anybody been through this? How can i help him?

[magda]

Anonymous programs require eventual belief in a higher power, not religion. The tone of The Book is Christian & talks about God, this is true, but it is a blanket term for any form of spirituality. NA teaches a LOT of other helpful tips aside from the God thing - but, then again, I am an agnostic who appreciates the spiritual-ish side of life.. (Whatever that means, huh? But that's good enough for your average AA-er!) In addition, the programs have activities & opportunities for making friends that DO understand. Support, oh-so-valuable guidelines for the first.. year of sobriety. Developed by addicts. And it's proven to work. Makes you wonder about "spirituality", eh? Or maybe that's just me.

 

Basically, yes, addicts have to relearn every aspect of life & the way they function within it. There are no ideas in his group? What he needs to do if his friends don't understand is either get new friends, or figure out pretty quickly what they don't understand and explain it to them. It's a confusing time - emotional. He basically needs to rebuild himself in almost every aspect. Drug addiction can be considered a SYMPTOM of a problem. Just quitting will cure the symptom, but without total immersion, the problem still exists & if it does not materialize again in crystal meth, it can turn up in countless other behaviors (mainly alcoholism...)

 

My boyfriend was the damn smartest athiest I ever did see, aside from the other problems. He avoided AA.. but now he's been clean well over a year, still attends meetings regularly, still hasn't become some religious nut-case. He has an explanation for his newfound "spirituality" that is about as in-depth as the one I gave above. It works for him - it works out great. He was told, "keep it in the back of your mind, but don't even worry about the higher power part yet. That's another step."

 

...That's what I think works especially well about the programs - the clearly outlined, well-travelled steps & endless support. It's the best resource a person in your friends position has.

 

I just wanted to share that with you in case you didn't realize that it's pretty loose in that regard. .. Most all the athiest AA-ers have some kind of "awareness" eventually. During that particular step they attribute the feeling to a higher power. Is God listening or is it their own self? -wutev- I don't think anybody cares because it works.

 

Hopefully I won't get edited again for putting an innocent & helpful link that is not financially connected to me whatsoever, but you might find help here: http://www.crystalrecovery.com There's a discussion board where you might find more help.

[healthygirl]

here is how I quit had a dream or a trip I was in hell (sorry no religion intended) woke and and ran as fast as I could to Jesus. If your friend is afraid of God then tell hell is even worse.

[neverbeen]

A detox program is a good way to go. It can be fatal to quit without professional help.

 

Meth Freind, it sounds like you are giving advice and support? Look at the reason for the use. Chances are 'self-medication' is involved. So removing the meth solves one problem may leave another unchecked. There are many medications out there that can help the pains of quiting.

 

Good Luck!

[amerikajin]

I don't think it requires a "higher power" to ween someone off of drugs. I think it takes hope, and it takes self-confidence, which is something that many addicts don't have. Some people not only don't respond to prosyletizing; they discredit any program that tries to promote it. That's why many people, despite what you've heard, do not respond well to al-anon programs. Sometimes it's nothing more than a bunch of addicts talking about how much they miss getting high or drunk. Hardly of any value to the people who are there trying to get off of substances.

 

It all starts from within, which is why counseling is often the best recourse. People who abuse substances start doing so for a variety of reasons, but in most of the cases I've seen, it has to do with escapism or a sense that they need it in order to feel better than they would otherwise feel sober. A support group can be useful in making sure that someone stays clean, but I think it's better if the support system is made up of friends and family. I know that al-anon works for some people, and I'm not saying that it shouldn't be an option, but some people swear that it's the cure itself and I don't think that it is.

[twisted]

as long as he still hangs out with his tweek buds then there is going to be that temptation. I belive it depends on the person and how dependent they are on it. Also u cant quit unless you WANT to quit i mean seriously want to quit. Cutting down is all good your friend is saving $$ but its not a step.

Your friend needs to ask himself "If i want to quit so bad why am i still using? i am stronger than this. Do i really want to quit? " "How bad is my problem, do i have a problem?" and after thinkin to himself (i used a mirror looked myself in the eye) i asked myself one more question the #1 question that broke me down..... Did my Mother carry me 9 months and go through 17hrs of labor provide shelter and food for me.....to this day, so i can **** up my body, the body my mother created in her that she loves and nurished 23 yrs now and i just get wasted and throw it all away risking death if i died what would my mom do, she loves me if she knew how bad into tweak i WAS she would cry.

[sing4me]

Originally posted by Meth friend

MY girlfriend and I have a friend who wants to stop his crystal meth habit, but does not know where to start. He is in counselling, and in a group, but would like ideas to work on by himself as well.He's cut down his usage signifigantly, but he could use some inspiration and stories. He said some of the best stuff he has read outlines day to day plans for >>>>not<<<< doing meth. His friends don't really understand, we keep thinking it's a matter of will power, but it's really not. Are there new chemicals that can help him maybe?

 

Please do not suggest religion; people have no idea how many addicts will not seek out Anonymous groups because of the attached religion. We know him from an atheists' group, as a matter of fact, so, with no offense intended, this will not be helpful.

 

Has anybody been through this? How can i help him?

http://www.crystalrecovery.com

[lightbeing]

methfriend,

As a matter of fact a detox program of some sort is the only way out!. Included is self abstainance. You see, they are only continuing usage due to no known or "obvious" indication of extreme damage done. Minimization is sure to be a way an addict rationalizes. The truth here is , for your friend, that the damage has ALREADY been done. Only years can really tell exactly what might not have been the result of this meth addiction. I repeat here, there is no other way to help other than to attain complete abstainance of this particular drug. You see, the nervous system (sympathetic), after dealing with the initial shocking effects of the drug will cause the person to begin to "rely" upon the synthetic chemical reactions that may supercede the natural functions of the body in order to take on routine tasks.(such as staying awake or even in extreme cases, breathing) Cueing the excuses of complication in quitting. I am sure you have realized that the longer you wait the worse it is to regain control of the body's natural processes. There is no way other than quitting(100%). And, if your friend actually is at a point where physical abstainance is fatal in any way, I should say that indeed this may be an indication of an affect that has occurred that may be irreversible for the individual.

Irreversible damage has ,to some some extent, already occurred when Meth is involved. It is one of the physical properties of the chemical reaction between the substance and the human body.

intervene, they'll thank you for it!

thanks

[sing4me]

Although Detox programs are a very good way to help, I disagree that it is the only way out. Thier are people that actually do it on thier own (very few) but that is not because they aren't capable it is because they aren't strong minded enough. Also the longer you do meth or any other type of addicting habit including other drugs, alcohol and cigarettes it seems to become more difficult for most people to do it much less on thier own. I believe a great deal of this can be contributed to the fact that we are creatures of habit. How many people do you know that start a weight loss program and a week or month later they didn't stick to it, but if they hire a trainer or get a partner to work out with theyn a few more of them stick it out. Also one of the biggest down falls that an addict or user will have is trying to maintaine thier addict/user friends. Once you quit or are in the process you have to stay away from the "old gang" How many times have you heard of a guy and girl meeting in rehab , becoming a couple and then both of them going back to the nahit, thats because the one that falls weak first drags the other one back down. It takes a long time for your strength to over power the relationships that you are in. If you don't use rehab you just gotta decide to make up your mind that no matter what you are going to "kick the habit" even if it means loosing friends ( are they really friends anyway?) Hope this is helpful to soemone as I am not a speedy typist!

sing4me

[kirkyswife]

I have permission to share Terry's story from Terry:

 

Terry is a daughter of my parent's good friend. She is a product of mixed race and also divorce - where both parents, in my opinion, were so caught up in moving on with their life that their way of parenting her was to give her whatever she wanted, everything except time, attention and love. She started hanging out with the party people and took up an incredible meth habit. She started fighting with her mother frequently and would get kicked out often only to beg her way back promising to stop using drugs. She had gone to this treatment and the group all with no success and basically was just driving her family crazy. She would attend the annual picnic and lay under blankets all day sleep after being up for days at a time - fiending for a bump and irritable at all of the "stupid" people around her. Now I've known Terry since she was 7 years old and as I sit looking at her through the years I see that she is a meth user but never told her parents or mine about my suspicions. I would make sure to make eye contact with her each time I saw her and tell her that I'm here if you ever need someone but only come when you are ready to make a serious change. She'd look at me like yeah okay you don't know that I'm high but knowing that I know she's high or coming down or whatever.

 

I happened to hang out with my parents one afternoon, which was rare, and she and her dad came by to have dinner with all of us. She walked in and immediately I knew she was sparked - her rapid speech and the squinting of the eyes, as a means of hiding her dilated pupils, were the obvious signs but still I sat back saying nothing just chatting with her. Miss Terry now 18, pimple faced and thin as a rail needed a hug and a lot of love and still I knew she wasn't ready. So I talked to her and through code and increasing my rate of speech, to confuse our parents, I told her that I was up on the peanut and that she and I should hang out and do girl things like nails and facials and stuff and talk. I gave her my number and told her that it's much easier to break the glass when you have help and that despite what she thinks I can share in the storytelling and wild experiences but also the come down and cravings and realize that it takes a strong person or a tough program to shake that need to just get through the day. I told it's hard to quit on Sunday's because you just want to sleep all Monday and it's harder to quit when you are living around the folks you have a good time with. So she and I could hang out, I wouldn't judge and if she needed me I would be there for her as much as I possibly could.

 

The next week she had a physical altercation with her father and mother and disappeared. A week later she ended up at her mom's house and she was kicked out by the police. 2 days from Thanksgiving and living in her car she called me. She was given my rules - no dope, no dope friends, no communication with dope friends and ready to go to a very tough program to shake her habit. She agreed. She also let me go through her things to check for paraphenelia and then I ordered food and she took a long bath. I gave her a facial, manicure, pedicure and 2 tylenol pm's. The next morning she was fighting through the craving so I gave her a Xenadrin and vitamin supplements, about 3:30PM I gave her 2 Tylenol PM's and she slept. Thanksgiving was spent with my family and the next week she entered the most intensive rehab program in CA. Prior to her going to her program she set goals - she was artistic and somehow lost site of that, I took her to the ballet and she cried,. I also took her to Bebe and bought her a fabulous brand new drug free me outfit for her first day after her completion of the 90-day program. I drove her to the program and walked in with her as she signed her paperwork and waited with her while they checked her in. I gave her the biggest hug and told her that she was strong and that big things were sure to come after this program and I watched her walk through the door.

 

I understand from her counselor that she was the most difficult of all the patients - angry, defiant the whole shabang. She signed up for 30 then extended to the 60 and ultimately stayed the full 90-days. The day before her graduation - I sent her Bebe outfit to her and told her to be dressed and ready to go. I attended her graduation and had a limo pick her up - we went to dinner and then took a drive to a show by D-12 in LA which we watched from backstage. At the end of the show, and the meet and greet, she was introduced to her favorite rapper Eminem who congratulated her on her success and took us all to a late breakfast. She got a huge goody bag from Em and he gave her a cross that was around his neck to be her inspiration to keep going forward. The past year and a half she has re enrolled in college, taken dance lessons and auditioned for a summer touring group - I'm proud of her resilience and strength and will always be there for her if she needs anything. She's my Ambassador of Courage and I love her to death.

 

Good luck to your friend on shaking his habit. He's going to be proud of how far he's grown and how much he's accomplished. I wish him the best!

[sing4me]

Terry is a very lucky girl to have someone like you in her life. Sounds like tough love is exactly what she needed and by what you wrote about her growing up years , you confirm what I have always said about children needing boundaries and discipline. I bet if you asked Terry she didn't feel loved as a young girl and you gave her just what she needed. So many kids do these things because they are substituting for love, unfortunately it also flows into adulthood and becomes worse. God Bless you for being someone who cared about one young girl enough to help her!

[kirkyswife]

Sing - Your words were very kind, it made me tear up a bit. Thank you for saying that about me. I feel blessed to have impacted her life positively and yes you are correct she said that no one had truly cared or she thought until she met me. I believe in positive reinforcement and they have torn themselves down so when you encounter someone who has reached rock bottom all you can do is help build them back up - one day at a time.

 

I agree with you that detox programs aren't always the answer neither is religion. But with meth it's almost impossible to shake the cravings without some assistance and it's most effective in controlled environments. This is the place that Terry went to and it's intense but extremely effective. http://www.crashinc.org/

[sing4me]

Kirkyswife

I hope that someone with your gifts has the opportunity to help others as yo seem to have exactly what it takes to help them care about themselves enough to do something. I am very analytical, I anylize everything and I have always said that if you were to do research you would find that 98% of "addicted persons" whether it be drugs , alcohol or whatever have experienced child abuse in some form. Now understand abuse comes in all forms, physical,SEXUAL, EMOTIONAL,and neglect.

Keep helping everyone you can.

sing4me

[greyskies]

Hey thanks for sharing that story. I think you are awesome for doing that. And I will be a witness that most addicts are emotionally or mentally abused. I have a story but it would be way to long to tell. The sad part about this story is it hasn't reached the happy ending and prolly never will. I will remember your story always. Thank you for sharing!! Thanks again!!

[darren reece]

just tell your friend that he can redeem himself to himself and to others. He obviously feels 'skecthy' inside his own mind still. When you are on drugs you think a million and one imposing, secretive things are going on but really crystal meth is actually a real good 'bad' escape from reality. Like **** I so understand why your friend would want to do crystal meth. Look at the world its ****IN ****ED UP. people dying everywhere suffering. YOU CAN FIND ****IN DRUGS EASIER THAN ****ING HEALTHY FOOD.

 

if you want your friend to talk to me email me at

[Monkeyji]

In the one year that I was addicted to meth I went from snorting it to smoking it to shooting it. One year is not as long as some folks have been on it, but it was enough. Its now been almost 5 years since I touched it (I'm 23 now) and I'm now very interested in trying to address this problem in my (gay) community.

 

First off, I'll tell you that Accupuncture saved my life, like your friend, I was vehemently opposed to 12-step programs, and when my dad heard about accupuncture for addiction on the radio, I figured I'd give it a try. I was skeptical, but I was at the point where I really wanted to stop - I really needed to stop. I had that strong desire, but Meth had overcome it all of the previous times I had sworn the **** off. Accupuncture gave me the tools to actually make that decision and stick to it. From my first treatment, I never looked back. I hope that if your friend is looking for alternative means on the road to recovery, that he will check this out. I forget the actual statistics but I think I heard that inpatient rehabs have about 25% success, and inpatient rehabs with accupuncture have over 60% success. That means if your friend is serious, his chanes are better than not at being a success story.

 

The other thing that I have just recently heard about is the use of Wellbutrin to help with cravings. I don't have the website here and now, but if you google it I'm sure you could find some stuff.

 

I hope this helps your friend and anyother folks out there trying to make a difference in how they live their lives. The things I've done in the past 5 years are incredible, and I only want to share that with as many people as I can as a way of giving back.

 

I sincerely hope you all the best,

Monkey

[stevecook]

Their is know way to fix your problem just try not to do to much and find a job with your extra energy that can help you pay for the habit.

[Guest]

I think the best thing you can do for your friend is tell him to get into rehab, maybe the best idea would to become an impatient for a little while. The people their are professionals and they could help a lot. And after when he gets out of rehab then you can help him the best you can to say no to meth. After he gets out it will be a matter of will power to say no to meth and you can help him with that. That is just a suggestion but maybe you should look into it......