Being alone is WORSE than sticking around. Honestly...

[That_girl]

I hate being alone. I've been broken up with my ex for 3 months, and I was only with him for like 6 months. So why am I still feeling this gut-wrenching pain?!!!! He cheated on me, he put me down, he had a really bad temper and cried ALL the time..... but he was also intense, gorgeous, and loving and soooo sensitive. What a mind ****. I still feel like this is somehow my fault. And I can't stand breaking up with someone. I constantly second guess myself and I am not confident in my decisions. I feel WORSE now that I've left him even though everyone said it would get better. And the worst part is that he probably wouldn't even take me back now and is probably better off without me. I hate life so much. It isn't fair. I loved this guy with all of my heart, I wanted so bad to believe in him and trust him. And not only does he let me down, but he doesn't even try to contact me now. He's just going on as if I never existed.

 

I don't want to be one of those women that stays in a bad relationship that is potentially abusive just because they don't want to be alone. I'm completely independent and I take care of myself. I have a good job and I don't depend on anyone. But I feel so incredibly alone. So right now I'm having a hard time understanding why everyone thinks it so much better to maintain your 'self-respect'. I could have stuck by him, I could have tried to trust him again after he cheated but I didn't.

 

No one sticks around anymore in a relationship. Everyone runs away. I hate being 'strong' and getting by. What's the purpose???? Being alone sucks TOO.

[D-Lish]

I'm having a hard time understanding why everyone thinks it so much better to maintain your 'self-respect'. I could have stuck by him, I could have tried to trust him again after he cheated but I didn't.

 

What advice would you give to someone you loved facing this same question?

 

Is it better to be alone, or is it better to embrace your dignity?

 

I think you know the answer.

[That_girl]

I don't feel dignified though....I just feel heartless and cold for leaving him. I know what you're saying, and if this were happening to anyone else I loved I would probably be telling them to move on and maintain their dignity. I'm just not able to see it that way from my perspective. I keep thinking back to the day I broke up with him and he kept saying that he couldn't believe that I thought he might actually hit me some day. I'm still not sure to this day that he would have, I just know that he is a physically agressive person. Maybe this is what I'm supposed to be feeling? If this relationship was actually emotionally abusive, then maybe it makes sense that I should be blaming myself right about now.

[D-Lish]

I don't feel dignified though....I just feel heartless and cold for leaving him. I know what you're saying, and if this were happening to anyone else I loved I would probably be telling them to move on and maintain their dignity. I'm just not able to see it that way from my perspective. I keep thinking back to the day I broke up with him and he kept saying that he couldn't believe that I thought he might actually hit me some day. I'm still not sure to this day that he would have, I just know that he is a physically agressive person. Maybe this is what I'm supposed to be feeling? If this relationship was actually emotionally abusive, then maybe it makes sense that I should be blaming myself right about now.

 

He cheated on you, correct?

That's one thing I'd never reconcile with in a relationship- it's the biggest deal breaker out there for me.

[Tony T]

He cheated on you, put you down, had a bad temper, cried all the time, etc., etc.

 

By the authority vested in me by Dr. Phil, E. Pluribus Unum, I hereby declare that this guy was way wrong for you and you need to forget him. There's nothing about him that would be good for the future.

 

The absolute WORST case of desperate loneliness is not half as bad as what you went through in that relationshxt, I mean relationship...nah, not really!

 

Now, free your mind so a very nice, respectful, decent person can come into your life.

[thelovingkind]

I actually really feel for a lot of the frustration expressed in this post. I know I've always stood up for myself, I've never hung about in relationships that were bad for me, I've tried to make a life for myself on my own terms, I work on being all those great things: confident, independent, self-sufficient, having high self-esteem, etc. etc. But then there are always those moments where it's like yeah...I have all of these great things, but here I am appreciating them on my own. Having said all that, you can't let the potency of loneliness overwhelm the logical side of your brain. He's obviously no good for you. I do think it's fine to just call your feelings out for what they are, though, even if they're not exactly where you'd like them to be.

[Kidd]

I just want to say that reconciliation is possible. But then again, I chose it because my wife and I have 17 years together and 2 young children. Our life/my investment deserves a second chance. My wife is going crazy trying go make it up to me and it's still gonna be crazy tough for a long time. Does this man have that in him? Do you? It's not for sissies. Do some soul searching, make a decision, and then seek advice (from everyone) on how to then move forward. Just my humble opinion.

[Els]

Hon, if you had tried to 'stick it out' and trust him again, do you really think he'd never cheat again? 6 months is still the honeymoon phase of a relationship!! If he can cheat THEN, what do you think he'll do when you've been married 10 years, have two kids and you're pregnant with another one?