Getting a Divorce...

[Tryin Hard 2 Make It]

Well, i met them for birthday dinner and everything was fine. I did not have any anxiety and again realized she is a regular person to me now. I had built her to be this goddess in my mind after we separated. Everyone ate and conversations were had. While i was sitting there i realized why i wasnt happy when we were together. I do not find her intriguing nor that interesting. I feel like when i was with her i was in lust with her but now she is not that sexy to me anymore. After dinner we said our goodbyes and went our separate ways. It seems like i need to spend more time with her to remember why i am glad we are separating/divorcing. I know she is happier now that i am speaking to her because prior to last week i was at Limited Contact with her and she hated it. We will see what happens, i will update tomorrow.

 

Good night all, tomorrow is another day...

[liaise]

You should meet experienced person for this matter. She must have changed her mind due to your kid.

[imagine]

The divorce game is not over!

 

Divorce is about separation. It is permanent. There will be no friendship and discussion (apart from the children). She must remember this and know that there is no friendship after marriage.

 

Friendship after divorce will slow your recovery to be who you are. It will compromise relationships with other people. If you are friends -don't divorce- you are ahead of a lot of folk who are married.

[Tryin Hard 2 Make It]

The divorce game is not over!

 

Divorce is about separation. It is permanent. There will be no friendship and discussion (apart from the children). She must remember this and know that there is no friendship after marriage.

 

Friendship after divorce will slow your recovery to be who you are. It will compromise relationships with other people. If you are friends -don't divorce- you are ahead of a lot of folk who are married.

 

There is no intimacy between us. Neither of us felt it for each other and more so in the past year. We need a divorce otherwise we will cheat on each other (She may already have, but that is neither here nor there).

 

I agree we cannot be friends right now *but* can we be friends after i have fully healed? Maybe we will have a rare friendship??

[Tryin Hard 2 Make It]

Question, but first let me explain...

 

She has been wanting to be friends since separation and originally i told her when people go through a divorce they cannot be friends.... She didnt like that. Then, she was extremely mad when i told her to only text/email me with issues regarding our son and she said that was not an ideal way to communicate since we have a son. The day she told me she wanted to separate she told me she did not want to hurt me and went as far as saying she wishes i could meet someone because she didnt like to see me hurting. I was crying the whole she was telling this to me.

 

I know she does not want to reconcile and there is absolutely not one piece of evidence of that from her. Keep in mind she told me she has felt like this for 6 months so i am guessing she checked out then...

 

Any ideas why she feels this way?

 

She always made comments in the past about me being so "handy" around the house. Maybe she doesnt want to lose her handyman?

[carhill]

Maybe she doesnt want to lose her handyman?

 

It's more like she wants to keep you engaged until a firm replacement is located. IME, it doesn't take long. Men are always willing to trade 'handy' for 'bed'.

[Tryin Hard 2 Make It]

It's more like she wants to keep you engaged until a firm replacement is located. IME, it doesn't take long. Men are always willing to trade 'handy' for 'bed'.

 

Under normal circumstances i would have realized that.

 

Thanks, carhill.

[Tryin Hard 2 Make It]

Update, i do not feel anything for her anymore. I have seen her multiple times since the 15th of this month. Always for business with the exception of 2 nights we went to dinner because she said she misses going out to nice restaurants. We went as friends on a friday night and i didnt feel anything the next day. No hurt no nothing. She did call me that sunday asking to meet up again and we ate that night with our child at a local place. Still nothing, no hurt. She mentioned she was feeling lonely. Good thing for me i am not having those feelings right now.

 

I will update later this week...

[carhill]

Sounds about right. That was a new experience for me, total and utter indifference for someone I once loved greatly. Irritation that this vaguely familiar stranger was taking up my time. Maybe you're a bit softer and more generous soul than myself. It'll work out.

[Tryin Hard 2 Make It]

Update:

 

This getting weird for me and i am not sure if i like it. Last Monday our child asked STBX to go to the beach with us. Our child asked her in front of both of us and i didnt respond to it whereas she said maybe one day. So the next day she asks if she could go with me and our child to the beach and i said yes. We went to the beach yesterday and STBX brings her other child (from previous relationship who lived with us) and we had a nice day with the kids. No signs from her nor me about reconciliation, not any at all. Just there like friends. It helps me seeing her because she likes to smoke cigarettes and i always told myself i would never get with a girl who smokes so that reminds me why i dont want her back along with some other little things about her. Helps me reaffirm why we should get a divorce. Hopefully we will go to court this week...

[wezol]

Sounds about right. That was a new experience for me, total and utter indifference for someone I once loved greatly. Irritation that this vaguely familiar stranger was taking up my time. Maybe you're a bit softer and more generous soul than myself. It'll work out.

 

Currently going through a divorce as well and this is what I feel, but I was the one who asked for the divorce. I'm not an emotional person, so it frustrated her when she would start crying and I would just stand there with the "irritation of a vaguely familiar stranger taking up my time" look on my face. We had dinner a few times as friends before she moved 3 hrs away, which was yesterday morning. It was weird, and I was actually kind of irritated in a few ways. One, because I allowed myself to say yes to her dinner invite, and two because I just didn't want her there. Not because it made me sad or that I would revert back in the healing, but because of someone there that I didn't care about one way or another, taking up my time.

 

Update:

 

This getting weird for me and i am not sure if i like it. Last Monday our child asked STBX to go to the beach with us. Our child asked her in front of both of us and i didnt respond to it whereas she said maybe one day. So the next day she asks if she could go with me and our child to the beach and i said yes. We went to the beach yesterday and STBX brings her other child (from previous relationship who lived with us) and we had a nice day with the kids. No signs from her nor me about reconciliation, not any at all. Just there like friends. It helps me seeing her because she likes to smoke cigarettes and i always told myself i would never get with a girl who smokes so that reminds me why i dont want her back along with some other little things about her. Helps me reaffirm why we should get a divorce. Hopefully we will go to court this week...

 

It is weird, I've done/doing it as we speak, it's a natural feeling as far as I can tell. We were just lucky we didn't have any kids. Been about a month and a half since we initially separated and I moved out, still working out the kinks, emotionally and as far as the divorce goes. My stbxw started smoking too, so that helped in a way. Although, I am very very good as not showing any emotion what-so-ever, and the more she would start crying and whining, the less I would show. Sometimes that can be good, but sometimes I wish I could just let it all out. Oh well.

 

You'll be okay, it sounds as though you are at that point and it's all downhill from here.

[Tryin Hard 2 Make It]

Currently going through a divorce as well and this is what I feel, but I was the one who asked for the divorce. I'm not an emotional person, so it frustrated her when she would start crying and I would just stand there with the "irritation of a vaguely familiar stranger taking up my time" look on my face. We had dinner a few times as friends before she moved 3 hrs away, which was yesterday morning. It was weird, and I was actually kind of irritated in a few ways. One, because I allowed myself to say yes to her dinner invite, and two because I just didn't want her there. Not because it made me sad or that I would revert back in the healing, but because of someone there that I didn't care about one way or another, taking up my time.

 

 

 

It is weird, I've done/doing it as we speak, it's a natural feeling as far as I can tell. We were just lucky we didn't have any kids. Been about a month and a half since we initially separated and I moved out, still working out the kinks, emotionally and as far as the divorce goes. My stbxw started smoking too, so that helped in a way. Although, I am very very good as not showing any emotion what-so-ever, and the more she would start crying and whining, the less I would show. Sometimes that can be good, but sometimes I wish I could just let it all out. Oh well.

 

You'll be okay, it sounds as though you are at that point and it's all downhill from here.

 

Thanks.

 

You know the saying "The person who cares the least has the most control." I was reminded of the saying when you mentioned she was crying while you were emotionless.

[Tryin Hard 2 Make It]

Update, had a bit of a re-lapse today but nothing major. Felt a little bit of heartache this morning but plowed through it like an oil tanker.

 

I wonder if i am seeing too much of her? At first, i was able to not think about her but now it seems like i have her back in my head more so than before. I think i am going to cut back on the person to person meetings i am starting to feel like its not a good idea right now.

 

Suppose to finalize soon. I want to start dating after its final. I know one thing, right now i love my freedom so i will not be looking for a relationship anytime soon.

 

btw, anyone read Carlos Xuma - "Secrets of the Alpha Man" ?

I read on LS where some members recommended it so i took a chance... Good stuff.

[Tryin Hard 2 Make It]

F'ing papers still not even looked at by her lawyer. They are taking their sweet time. She and i have already agreed on everything and my lawyer is ready to go. She just wants her attny to give the final decree his blessing. I am starting to get annoyed. I feel like i am being held back. She said she called them today and wants them to get on the ball. She is in no rush and i told her neither am i...But i really want this behind me so i can do what i want as far as females go...in public.

 

She came over to my place to pick up our kid and some mail i had for her. I bought a new mattress and today she decided to lay on it to see how it felt. I laid down with her and she was close to me and then pulled back. There has been a lot of hugging between us lately but thats it. Its nice to hug her but i know there will never be anything between us other than raising our child together. I know i will be much happier with someone else. She never really did it for me except the physical attraction and now that she lost 15 lbs because of this... she has lost her ass, completely. I am an ass man and cant have that Sorry if i am rambling, it helps when i can let my thoughts out....

[wezol]

F'ing papers still not even looked at by her lawyer. They are taking their sweet time. She and i have already agreed on everything and my lawyer is ready to go. She just wants her attny to give the final decree his blessing. I am starting to get annoyed. I feel like i am being held back. She said she called them today and wants them to get on the ball. She is in no rush and i told her neither am i...But i really want this behind me so i can do what i want as far as females go...in public.

 

She came over to my place to pick up our kid and some mail i had for her. I bought a new mattress and today she decided to lay on it to see how it felt. I laid down with her and she was close to me and then pulled back. There has been a lot of hugging between us lately but thats it. Its nice to hug her but i know there will never be anything between us other than raising our child together. I know i will be much happier with someone else. She never really did it for me except the physical attraction and now that she lost 15 lbs because of this... she has lost her ass, completely. I am an ass man and cant have that Sorry if i am rambling, it helps when i can let my thoughts out....

 

I got lucky in that aspect, we are filing this week with no layers. We will go to the judge to file. Then after however long, 60 days I think, I'll just go up by myself to "finalize" it or whatever, since she doesn't have to go, and that way she doesn't have to drive 3 hrs for nothing, and I don't have to see her.

 

I've agreed to be friends with her, but in the time before she moved, she wanted to see me too much....and I let her, because she was moving and I knew I wouldn't have to see her anymore...

 

 

And I'm an ass man too, I love nice asses (who doesn't?), and lost 5 lbs and lost some of it....she can't afford to lose 5 lbs, shes was a rail as it was.

 

 

I think this time I'm gonna look for someone with a little more meat on her bones (not fat, just "healthier" I guess?) and a bigger chest. May sound shallow, I dunno, and I do love asses, but my ex w had no chest so...may as well right?

[Surfer203]

wezol: Nothing wrong with looking for a woman with attributes that are more to your liking.

[Tryin Hard 2 Make It]

I got lucky in that aspect, we are filing this week with no layers. We will go to the judge to file. Then after however long, 60 days I think, I'll just go up by myself to "finalize" it or whatever, since she doesn't have to go, and that way she doesn't have to drive 3 hrs for nothing, and I don't have to see her.

 

I've agreed to be friends with her, but in the time before she moved, she wanted to see me too much....and I let her, because she was moving and I knew I wouldn't have to see her anymore...

 

 

And I'm an ass man too, I love nice asses (who doesn't?), and lost 5 lbs and lost some of it....she can't afford to lose 5 lbs, shes was a rail as it was.

 

 

I think this time I'm gonna look for someone with a little more meat on her bones (not fat, just "healthier" I guess?) and a bigger chest. May sound shallow, I dunno, and I do love asses, but my ex w had no chest so...may as well right?

 

May as well!!!! I felt shallow too because the major reason i wanted to stay was because of her looks!! She did nothing for me emotionally. Now, i am realizing i can seek out what i want as you will

 

Her Lawyer looked over the decree and said all is well. All she has to do is sign it at her attnys office or meet me in front of the judge and sign it there. We just have to go to court now....

 

 

My ex never had an ass and i put up with it. Now after her losing 15 lbs she has a negative ass, lol. I bought her some nice d cups 5 years ago but they are starting to sag. Sex most times was horrible but there were *some* spectacular episodes. One thing, she does have a beautiful face so i think that is one thing i will miss. Education, not that great and very indecisive. Either way, she will be in my life for the rest of it because of our child so we will make the best of it. I have to think about all the negatives about her so it makes it easier for me to let her go.

 

on a side note, I caught myself going out of my way for her here lately. She asked for a couple of favors and i helped her without thinking twice. She acts like we are still married in the sense that she is asking me to help her with favors and what not and she is not realizing that we are separating. I will do these favors until the judge finalizes the divorce which should be before the end of next week.

I guess there is a tiny piece of me that has hope that we will get back together but i know 100% that she does not want to reconcile.... she just wants to have her cake and eat it too. Funny, i like doing things for her..... I know that things between us would not work and therefore i would not reconcile with her. The nice thing is that we are being very amicable with each other. Now that i am past my major heartache stage i can deal with seeing and talking to her without feeling like the world is going to end. I want my closure...

[wezol]

 

on a side note, I caught myself going out of my way for her here lately. She asked for a couple of favors and i helped her without thinking twice. She acts like we are still married in the sense that she is asking me to help her with favors and what not and she is not realizing that we are separating. I will do these favors until the judge finalizes the divorce which should be before the end of next week.

I guess there is a tiny piece of me that has hope that we will get back together but i know 100% that she does not want to reconcile.... she just wants to have her cake and eat it too. Funny, i like doing things for her..... I know that things between us would not work and therefore i would not reconcile with her. The nice thing is that we are being very amicable with each other. Now that i am past my major heartache stage i can deal with seeing and talking to her without feeling like the world is going to end. I want my closure...

 

I had a hard time not going out of my way for mine. When I moved out and got my own place, 2 weeks later she realized her soon to be roomate flaked, and she wouldn't be able to afford rent where she lived. She then asked, and begged, to let her move in with me just as friends, no emotions or strings attached, until she got back on her feet. It was hard, but I said no. I never even wanted to say yes, but it was just hard telling her no and knowing she would take it hard.

 

She also just sent me a text saying she found a truck to buy with the money she got from being hit in our old truck. She made a comment "it's one that you could work on :)". I told her "Do not buy a truck, depending on me to work on it. If I can then I can, but don't count on it. Don't buy one that has high miles and is a piece of junk under the pretense of me fixing it for you".

 

In some ways, it's hard turning her down like this, but I know it's the right thing to do. It's going to force her to be independent. Our whole marriage I fixed everything that went wrong, with the house, the trucks/cars, horse trailers, fences, etc. and it saved us a CRAP ton of money. At the time, I TRIED to show her how to do some basic things, because I never knew when I wouldn't be around (Military), so hopefully she listened...or she's going to wish she would of

 

 

My wife made a comment about wanting breasts, and asked if I would mind if she did...of course I said "No honey, I wouldn't mind...but only if that's what you really want". I also made the comment "It'll probably make you feel sexier, and that would make our sex life that much better". Ours was very boring for the most part. Always same two positions, but mostly missionary. She didn't like foreplay very much, and to me that was my favorite part, and she was a very selfish lover. I would do all kinds of things to her, and never got anything in return unless I physically put her hand on it, or asked...and even then it would only go on for a few minutes and she'd stop....

 

Our sex life (or lack thereof) and how she treated me made me very insecure and I didn't like who I was becoming, was a big part of my reasoning for divorce.

 

To be fair, it wasn't all her fault. I have my own issues that I brought home from deployment, and it took me a long time to come out of denial about them and seek help. At the same time though, she never went out of her way to read anything, or do her own research on how she could help me with my anger problems. Yes, I know that is on me...but one example...

 

We would be driving through the metroplex (we live in the country) and I HATE the drivers there. I would get mad at some bonehead acting retarded, and in turn she would get mad at me for getting mad at them. Immediately my anger would get directed at her because in my head she was against me, and in a flight or fight response, I will always fight. Yes, THAT was MY fault entirely, BUT....if she would of just stroked my arm, or whatever and said something like "baby, don't worry about him. Yes he's an idiot, but it'll be okay, just relax", it would do WONDERS for me and I would immediately calm down almost 100% of the time. I just needed a little "nurturing"...man that sounds bad from a guy lol.

Edited August 3, 2011 by wezol

[Tryin Hard 2 Make It]

I had a hard time not going out of my way for mine. When I moved out and got my own place, 2 weeks later she realized her soon to be roomate flaked, and she wouldn't be able to afford rent where she lived. She then asked, and begged, to let her move in with me just as friends, no emotions or strings attached, until she got back on her feet. It was hard, but I said no. I never even wanted to say yes, but it was just hard telling her no and knowing she would take it hard.

 

She also just sent me a text saying she found a truck to buy with the money she got from being hit in our old truck. She made a comment "it's one that you could work on :)". I told her "Do not buy a truck, depending on me to work on it. If I can then I can, but don't count on it. Don't buy one that has high miles and is a piece of junk under the pretense of me fixing it for you".

 

In some ways, it's hard turning her down like this, but I know it's the right thing to do. It's going to force her to be independent. Our whole marriage I fixed everything that went wrong, with the house, the trucks/cars, horse trailers, fences, etc. and it saved us a CRAP ton of money. At the time, I TRIED to show her how to do some basic things, because I never knew when I wouldn't be around (Military), so hopefully she listened...or she's going to wish she would of

 

 

My wife made a comment about wanting breasts, and asked if I would mind if she did...of course I said "No honey, I wouldn't mind...but only if that's what you really want". I also made the comment "It'll probably make you feel sexier, and that would make our sex life that much better". Ours was very boring for the most part. Always same two positions, but mostly missionary. She didn't like foreplay very much, and to me that was my favorite part, and she was a very selfish lover. I would do all kinds of things to her, and never got anything in return unless I physically put her hand on it, or asked...and even then it would only go on for a few minutes and she'd stop....

 

Our sex life (or lack thereof) and how she treated me made me very insecure and I didn't like who I was becoming, was a big part of my reasoning for divorce.

 

To be fair, it wasn't all her fault. I have my own issues that I brought home from deployment, and it took me a long time to come out of denial about them and seek help. At the same time though, she never went out of her way to read anything, or do her own research on how she could help me with my anger problems. Yes, I know that is on me...but one example...

 

We would be driving through the metroplex (we live in the country) and I HATE the drivers there. I would get mad at some bonehead acting retarded, and in turn she would get mad at me for getting mad at them. Immediately my anger would get directed at her because in my head she was against me, and in a flight or fight response, I will always fight. Yes, THAT was MY fault entirely, BUT....if she would of just stroked my arm, or whatever and said something like "baby, don't worry about him. Yes he's an idiot, but it'll be okay, just relax", it would do WONDERS for me and I would immediately calm down almost 100% of the time. I just needed a little "nurturing"...man that sounds bad from a guy lol.

 

 

Wow, you and i lived VERY similar lives in our marriage. I too worked on the house/cars and did everything for her ie being her handyman. She always made nice comments about having a husband (like me) who could fix most things.

 

Sex for us (after our child was born) was only two positions as well....boring. If i went down on her she would start laughing because it tickled her. When we did have sex, it was uncomfortable and it hurt at times. She made zero noises (even before the baby) except when i made her have an orgasm. After the baby it was difficult for her to have orgasms much less like to have sex. What did she do for me? Nothing, i tried putting her hand and nothing. Massages? She never liked receiving them nor giving them. She always fell asleep early on the couch or was always tired. I usually did most of the cooking and would clean up as well just so she would not be tired but that didnt help our sex life. looking back on all this i am glad i am moving on. i want someone who is in to me like i am in to them...but not right now i need to play the field (again).

 

Now our relationship feels to me like we are old friends. It is weird and i feel that i should cut her off after the divorce is official. She is not independent and is very needy. I want to do things for her but i know if i do i will be wasting my time on her when i can be pursuing other options. She is not going to like it when she asks for something and i tell her no. One day at a time...

[wezol]

Wow, you and i lived VERY similar lives in our marriage. I too worked on the house/cars and did everything for her ie being her handyman. She always made nice comments about having a husband (like me) who could fix most things.

 

Sex for us (after our child was born) was only two positions as well....boring. If i went down on her she would start laughing because it tickled her. When we did have sex, it was uncomfortable and it hurt at times. She made zero noises (even before the baby) except when i made her have an orgasm. After the baby it was difficult for her to have orgasms much less like to have sex. What did she do for me? Nothing, i tried putting her hand and nothing. Massages? She never liked receiving them nor giving them. She always fell asleep early on the couch or was always tired. I usually did most of the cooking and would clean up as well just so she would not be tired but that didnt help our sex life. looking back on all this i am glad i am moving on. i want someone who is in to me like i am in to them...but not right now i need to play the field (again).

 

Now our relationship feels to me like we are old friends. It is weird and i feel that i should cut her off after the divorce is official. She is not independent and is very needy. I want to do things for her but i know if i do i will be wasting my time on her when i can be pursuing other options. She is not going to like it when she asks for something and i tell her no. One day at a time...

 

Wow.....that's insanely crazy....exactly the same right down to the cooking/cleaning and hurting during sex sometimes.

 

Ummm so its almos like my wife had you and kids on the side hahaha, JK.

 

That's really weird. I'm glad to know that my situation wasn't abnormal.

 

 

 

Nuts....

[Tryin Hard 2 Make It]

Wow.....that's insanely crazy....exactly the same right down to the cooking/cleaning and hurting during sex sometimes.

 

Ummm so its almos like my wife had you and kids on the side hahaha, JK.

 

That's really weird. I'm glad to know that my situation wasn't abnormal.

 

 

 

Nuts....

 

HAHA!!!

 

Crazy!! I stumbled on this link from LS i think... Most of it applies to my (our) wife -j/k except for the cheating part (i hope)

 

check it out: http://www.womensinfidelity.com/

[worldover98]

Hi Guys:

 

Sorry that your situations had to end up in separation and/or divorce. I'm headed in the same direction, having been married for over 10 years with two kids. My wife stop becoming intimate after the first child, and then 2 years after which the second child was born, and sex was a distant memory. She was not into affectionate touching anymore, putting it off "for a better time", but better times never came. This with her significant weight gain and authoritarian control over affairs for over the past six years have led me to finally throw down the gauntlet to call it a day. I cannot be forced into a sexless, unromantic "marriage". It's horrible and it's un-natural.

 

She is an excellent mom and that has led me to contain most bitterness. I do feel she betrayed the whole marriage by not wanting to address and improve herself for us. Even our MC says she doe not feel she needs to change anything, which was the last straw for me.

 

The hardest part will be for me to move out of our new lovely home and start over to find a new soul mate. I'm in a foreign land and I'm not leaving because I want to continue to be a part of the kids' lives. I've had it hard sleeping and keeping positive too because I still love this woman but I cannot change her. Thus her resistance to change seems more important than a marriage and family unity. Forced to divorce....!

[wezol]

Hi Guys:

 

Sorry that your situations had to end up in separation and/or divorce. I'm headed in the same direction, having been married for over 10 years with two kids. My wife stop becoming intimate after the first child, and then 2 years after which the second child was born, and sex was a distant memory. She was not into affectionate touching anymore, putting it off "for a better time", but better times never came. This with her significant weight gain and authoritarian control over affairs for over the past six years have led me to finally throw down the gauntlet to call it a day. I cannot be forced into a sexless, unromantic "marriage". It's horrible and it's un-natural.

 

She is an excellent mom and that has led me to contain most bitterness. I do feel she betrayed the whole marriage by not wanting to address and improve herself for us. Even our MC says she doe not feel she needs to change anything, which was the last straw for me.

 

The hardest part will be for me to move out of our new lovely home and start over to find a new soul mate. I'm in a foreign land and I'm not leaving because I want to continue to be a part of the kids' lives. I've had it hard sleeping and keeping positive too because I still love this woman but I cannot change her. Thus her resistance to change seems more important than a marriage and family unity. Forced to divorce....!

 

It's rough, I'm glad I didn't have kids in the mix...although I'd LIKE to think we would of made it work if we did...but I doubt it.

 

HAHA!!!

 

Crazy!! I stumbled on this link from LS i think... Most of it applies to my (our) wife -j/k except for the cheating part (i hope)

 

check it out: http://www.womensinfidelity.com/

 

How are things going?

[Tryin Hard 2 Make It]

 

How are things going?

 

Hey wezol, funny you ask... i was just talking to her about signing papers and schedule a court date to finalize

 

Well, l havent thought about her too much this past weekend. I was busy working and hanging out on sunday with good friends. I hope i can finalize everything this week. I need/want closure.

 

I have been preparing myself to re-enter the dating world by doing lots of reading and working on my exterior appearance. I want to hit the ground running once its over

 

There are times when i do think about her but i think only because i feel (at times) lonely and it was nice having a partner (even though sex/passion was not there). I feel that once it is official i can then meet new women without having to explain i am not officially divorced. Trying my best to look ahead and while letting go of the past.

 

I texted her this morning about paperwork and then she decided to call me to see what our child and i did on sunday. She always wants to know what we did over the weekend. When i go somewhere she always wants to know where and with who. It seems like she still wants to know what is going on in my life whereas i could care less about what goes on in her life.

 

After we talked on the phone this morning, i caught myself focusing on the sound of her voice and how good she sounded over the phone. I have to remind myself she was never the goddess i thought she was and bring my mind back to reality. I hate it when my mind does this...

[Tryin Hard 2 Make It]

I talked to her again this afternoon about bringing her certificate for the parenting course we had to complete and she said she was sad.

I asked why are you sad and she said, "I know its me who wants the divorce but it still makes me sad and feel guilty because its me that wants it."

 

thoughts?