raceman Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 I'm not sure how I got here, but it's six months since I found my wife's diaries. Don't ask how. It was a complete accident. So in them she details an affair with a relative (2nd cousin). I surprised myself by not throwing her out. In fact I was the one who went to seek psych advice. For nearly 3 years she kept this going and wrote down every detail. I'm so angry about it, but I love her and I lied by telling her that I found out through an old friend. She told at least a dozen people at the time and so it's all very believable. The thing that makes me most angry is she slept with him even when she knew the guy had cheated on his previous wife and had literally called every person they knew and told them his own wife was a whore while he was cheating with my wife. He also slept with my wife's sister just after they broke up for the first time. I mean what should I think about my wife when she did this. Her diaries even talk about how she tried to get pregnant by him (she's basically sterile but wanted to believe it was me). I'm doing everything I can to get through this . . . my counsellor seemed shocked when I said that unless I saw a change in my wife I was giving it all up because after 3months of counselling my wife told me she hadn't really been trying. I know she hasn't been in contact with the OM because I contacted him and he said he couldn't care less. I feel sorry for her as she fell for a complete pr**k, but why me? I want to help her, but I'm not a doormat......???
coolheadal Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 Lover not interested in her but you still want to help her? But she cheated on you though. It could happen again and again to you and her. She's been tempted to sleep without another man other than you.
fltc Posted July 5, 2011 Posted July 5, 2011 I'm so angry about it, but I love her Geez I get tired of hearing this self delusional crap, you do NOT LOVE HER! You can't love a cheating whore which is who you described, you love the woman you thought she was but she's NOT THAT WOMAN AND NEVER WAS! Dump her.
Soxfaninfl Posted July 5, 2011 Posted July 5, 2011 I agree. You need to get rid of her. Count your blessings that you don't have a child with her. She is a cheater, and you will never ever be able to trust her again.
Author raceman Posted July 7, 2011 Author Posted July 7, 2011 It's kind of what I've been thinking. Just didn't want to throw 20yrs away in a heartbeat. Question ..... What about the OM? i'd like to punch him in the head ..... What would you do? I live a long way away from where he is, but money and time no object.
fltc Posted July 7, 2011 Posted July 7, 2011 Question ..... What about the OM? i'd like to punch him in the head ..... What would you do? I live a long way away from where he is, but money and time no object. Why? You'll just wind up in jail, your wife cheated, not him. Women always make the decision to have sex or not to have sex (other than rape.)
Author raceman Posted July 8, 2011 Author Posted July 8, 2011 Well I knew the guy and he waited until I left the country to make his move .... They then only did it in my house. Makes me angry to know the guy probably used my things ... It's creepy. I loved that house and he's destroyed for me. Surely a bit of revenge is needed?
fltc Posted July 9, 2011 Posted July 9, 2011 Maybe she'll marry him, how much more revenge to you want than him being married to a cheater?
Author raceman Posted July 11, 2011 Author Posted July 11, 2011 Revenge appeals to me . . . . this guy is a weasel and I'd like him to get some heat. I mean never f*cked her outside my own house. Surely thats worth a little more than the odd nasty note etc.
betterdeal Posted July 11, 2011 Posted July 11, 2011 It's kind of what I've been thinking. Just didn't want to throw 20yrs away in a heartbeat. Question ..... What about the OM? i'd like to punch him in the head ..... What would you do? I live a long way away from where he is, but money and time no object. Stay within the law. Don't let this episode cause you any more damage than it already has. You could, for example, take a full page spread in a local paper (his locality) with his photo and details of what he has done. No need to be rude, just factual. It'll serve as a health warning to men and women in his vicinity.
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