Nice Guy syndrome Transition

[smartguy]

Well I came to the realization that my relationships fail because I am to nice of a man. Im not an ugly person I attract a lot of women but cant seem to keep them on a long term..= friend zone... I read some articles about this anybody have some tips or personal experience on this? I think it time for change to better my relationships.

[Eddie Edirol]

Get rid of nice guy mistakes.

 

Make them earn your heart in drips, dont just hand it all to them.

Dont offer any favors until youre official,

keep some of you mysterious,

dont be afraid to make fun of them a little (not about their bodies though)

Dont lead the way with relationship steps. Dont ask her to be your gf, let her do it, dont talk cutsie with her until she does it first,

dont initiate all of the contact,

be stingy with compliments, treat them like candy...

Make sure she thinks that you dont need the relationship as much as she does, at least for the first couple years.

 

Its all about balance.

 

You dont have to be an azzhole, just dont be too nice.

[Dorie]

Get rid of nice guy mistakes.

 

Make them earn your heart in drips, dont just hand it all to them.

Dont offer any favors until youre official,

keep some of you mysterious,

dont be afraid to make fun of them a little (not about their bodies though)

Dont lead the way with relationship steps. Dont ask her to be your gf, let her do it, dont talk cutsie with her until she does it first,

dont initiate all of the contact,

be stingy with compliments, treat them like candy...

Make sure she thinks that you dont need the relationship as much as she does, at least for the first couple years.

 

Its all about balance.

 

You dont have to be an azzhole, just dont be too nice.

 

You forgot one. Add

 

"Don't expect to get or retain a relationship with any woman of quality by following these tips.:

 

The end.

[Eddie Edirol]

Actually the one I forgot was:

many women dont want you to know how what they really want, only what they say they want, and they dont want you to know how to get the upper hand. But you just have to trust me. They always fight this. Many women with choices play little games, its a part of life. Many women dont, but theres always some kind of balance you have to maintain.

[oldguy]

Your attracting the wrong type of woman.

[Dust]

Well I came to the realization that my relationships fail because I am to nice of a man. Im not an ugly person I attract a lot of women but cant seem to keep them on a long term..= friend zone... I read some articles about this anybody have some tips or personal experience on this? I think it time for change to better my relationships.

 

The terms and vocabulary “nice guy” and “friendzone” are thought ending. They don’t create analysis of the situation. All a “nice guy” means to me is a guy who thinks he is nice what ever that means and is only willing to blame that for his short comings with women. I think it started because women often tried to say something “nice” when breaking up with a guy and would often tell this self pitying creature “sorry things aren’t working out, I’m just not feeling it but you’re a real nice guy” they would often add on “we can be friends.” In reality they didn’t break up with you because you were nice, and being nice what ever that means doesn’t some how make a person unattractive. They probably broke up with you because you have no respect for yourself and there for them. Since you have no respect for yourself you’re also more likely to take an insincere friendship as some kind of consolation torture. Another reason you could show your disrespect for yourself and enter the imaginary self made “friendzone” is by approaching a romantic relationship as a friendship. If you ask a girl out and then you just act like her girlfriend the entire date because its your great plan not to be rejected by never making any romantic moves bravo you’ve just presented a boring castrated version of yourself. Even if she does tell you she just wants to be friends why wouldn’t you just walk away at that point and take it like a rejection, why do you put all the power in the other persons hands and call it the “friendzone?”

 

So I think it all comes down to respect. People don’t respect people who don’t respect themselves, and people who don’t respect themselves don’t know how to respect anything. People are far more likely to respect some one who is willing to demand and ask for the things they want then some doormat willing and ready to do anything to please. Go into a romantic situation as yourself, not the genie trying to grant any wish and having no wants and desires of his own. Treat the person you are with as an equal not superior and be willing to make moves have a sexual appetite etc. Have needs of your own. Make the other person earn your respect too. It’s not a one way street.

[smartguy]

I understand but most of the time from first appearance come off as a Good Guy. I get that saying allot from females before they even kno who I am personally.

[Ross MwcFan]

I always used to get females saying 'Awww, isn't he cute', as though I'm some sweet little puppy.

[cerridwen]

Actually the one I forgot was:

many women dont want you to know how what they really want, only what they say they want, and they dont want you to know how to get the upper hand. But you just have to trust me. They always fight this. Many women with choices play little games, its a part of life. Many women dont, but theres always some kind of balance you have to maintain.

 

Demon women. Sirens!

[GorillaTheater]

I guess it depends on how you define "nice guy". There's a website that has some pretty good information, as well as an awesome forum:

 

http://www.nomoremrniceguy.com/

 

He (Glover) has a book to sell, but alot can be gleaned from the site without buying the book.

[smartguy]

Thanks, I also read some similar post to this issue. I figure out that I have to just take charge from the start and state where I want the relationship to go. and not wanting to become friends with them.

[carhill]

I found one exercise which helps is to proactively dismiss potentials which aren't measuring up, not in a mean way, but rather in a 'we're incompatible' way. Pursue whom you feel is attractive and, if their demeanor or character doesn't match up with what you want, don't waffle. Reject.

 

Since you attract women, this is possible. Repetition builds reputation as well as confidence. Definitely do have women friends. They're very special people who care about you. You won't meet many of them in your life, IME, so take care of them. See women for who they are; flawed human beings just like yourself (and myself).

 

Myself, after decades of chips in the game, I've cashed in. Took my losses and went home. Other things to do in life and good friends to love and be loved by. Hope your cards show more favorably. Good luck

[Cee]

I worry when I see these nice guy threads and men asking what is wrong with them. Likely, there is nothing wrong with you. A quality woman who "gets" you is out there, but it's not like that's the majority of the dating pool.

 

The woman who will love you is a special, rare, and wonderful person. Just like you. I know you will prevail eventually.

[Shaun-Dro]

Actually the one I forgot was:

many women dont want you to know how what they really want, only what they say they want, and they dont want you to know how to get the upper hand. But you just have to trust me. They always fight this. Many women with choices play little games, its a part of life. Many women dont, but theres always some kind of balance you have to maintain.

 

You're 100% on everything you just said. I'm anything but nice to my new girlfriend. I mean, I'm not nasty to her, but I let her earn things. I ignore her sometimes. I rough her up playfully, I hardly smile at her and boy does she love it up like morsels, since she's the complete opposite.

 

Younger, attractive women respond to a man who doesn't show his cards early. Older, unattractive or average looking dames been through a lot or haven't been through any men to bother with this strategy.

 

What Eddie says particularly works on the attractive girls because they're used to attention all the time from guys and some that walk on egg shells not to upset them because they don't wanna mess up a chance with her.

 

I, for one, don't give a damn what any woman thinks of me. Check out my threads and other posts to see what I'm talking about.

[thehead]

You're 100% on everything you just said. I'm anything but nice to my new girlfriend. I mean, I'm not nasty to her, but I let her earn things. I ignore her sometimes. I rough her up playfully, I hardly smile at her and boy does she love it up like morsels, since she's the complete opposite.

 

Younger, attractive women respond to a man who doesn't show his cards early. Older, unattractive or average looking dames been through a lot or haven't been through any men to bother with this strategy.

 

What Eddie says particularly works on the attractive girls because they're used to attention all the time from guys and some that walk on egg shells not to upset them because they don't wanna mess up a chance with her.

 

I, for one, don't give a damn what any woman thinks of me. Check out my threads and other posts to see what I'm talking about.

 

Dude, your girl sounds like a mess taking that sh^t from you but whatever. Lid and pot I guess.

 

Also want to say when I read advice like this it tells me one thing: The person writing it is scared of and/or has no to little real life experience with really beautiful women. If I used these tactics, I would have nothing but dumb insecure attractive chicks on my arm. I'm going for the hot beautiful babes. I'm going for the next level, man. Enjoy the second floor.