lamp65 Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 Last time I saw him was August last year - he stayed the night. Then a few days later he said the spark had gone. Why the hell can't I get over him and just move on? We've only communicated via e-mail a few times - which I know is stupid and I should just do NC. Valentines Day, he put a card through my door and left a teddy bear outside. The card said on the front "I loved you yesterday, I love you today and I will love you all the tomorrows". He wrote inside "For all the days I've missed and all the nights I will miss". Then April I had a birthday card - "You will always have a place in my heart". Obviously, this all gave me false hope. No point going through the whys we broke up - lots of them. But I know I should be moving on after almost a year - why can't I? He's on my mind every single day and I miss him so much. I know his e-mail address off heart, so can't delete it - well, I have deleted it, but I remember it .....!!!! I was a strong person when I met him. Now I'm a wreck. Had so much time off work - depression, heartbroken? Just know some days I just can't function. Any advice? Link to post Share on other sites
smudge21 Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 You're saying you're NC but deep down you know that at any point he may get in touch, and that is keeping that small bit of hope alive, which in turn is not allowing you to heal. I have that hope too, but sadly it's more keeping it alive rather than contact from the ex. You need to close the door to him, once and for all. Make it clear you're moving on and want to heal. I think what he's doing is a bit cruel but I don't know the circumstances of the break up so that can always have a bearing on how things go and who's right and who's wrong. I know what you mean about deleting info - I deleted my ex's phone number; the day I did, I remembered it totally... how cruel is that? Never dialed it (she'd put her number in and named herself on my phone) yet I remember it! You need to iron out what is keeping you connected to him - with me it's mutual friends and social networking. With you I think it's his possible contact always looming in the background. You can't solve the problem until you know what the problem is. Take some time to work out exactly what's causing the pain, then deal with it. 11 months is a long time, but no one set a time rule for getting over a loved one. It takes as long as it takes. Eventually you will be fine. We all will be. Link to post Share on other sites
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