Be an open book or is it good to keep them guessing a little

[lenny]

I've been with my guy for 10 months and been living with him for the last one. On the surface, everything seems to be going so well but lately, I've been feeling like I'm taken for granted and we're becoming mundane.

 

I have really endevoured to be completely honest and open with this guy. No secrets at all! I make sure I show appreciation for the things he does and let him know without a doubt that he is the only one for me.

 

Since we are very secure with each other, he seems to think the appreciation and reassurance I give him is kind of unnecessary.

 

Maybe I'm trying to create problems where there are none and really, this isn't a problem at this time, I am just worrying that this is the beginnings to a large divide between us.

 

Should I have held back a little to have kept him on his toes? It seems kind of game playing to me which I am totally against.

[buster2209]

We all play games and the people who say they don't usually play the most. Just my observation based on years of experience....

 

Anyway, if this feels like a problem to you then it is a problem, at least for yourself.

 

Talk to him about it. The longer you leave it, the worse you will feel and you will eventually feel resentment. It's hard to come back from that feeling....

[make me believe]

Should I have held back a little to have kept him on his toes?

 

I'm not really sure what you mean by this. In what ways do you feel like you should hold back? Emotionally? Or with things like.... not peeing in front of each other? If it's the peeing thing then yes you should hold back. lol

 

If things have started to feel mundane after only 10 months of dating and 1 month of living together, then you NEED to shake it up. When I'd lived with my husband (fiance at the time) for a month, it still felt new & exciting! Hell, it sometimes does even now and it's been almost a year. Things only get mundane and boring when the couple lets it happen. Do you guys still go on dates together? Do stuff on the weekend like hiking, going to movies, or whatever you used to do before you lived together? My husband and I like to get dressed up & go out for drinks sometimes because it's something we did frequently when we were dating and it's fun to keep those date-like feelings there.

 

If you feel like he's taking you for granted, you definitely need to tell him that. That is something that can become a huge problem if it's not nipped in the bud. But before you bring it up to him, I suggest thinking of ways he can make you feel appreciated and not taken for granted. What specific actions would you like him to take? Maybe tell him that you used to feel so special when he did ____ for/to you.