ginastar Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 Well my ex whom I dated for 7 years rebounded with a chick shortly after our break up. He was seeing a few girls for a few months and then exclusively with one of them. Hes now been with her exclusively for almost a year, although he was dating her 6 months before that. So a year and a half with this "rebound" and he has not come back; so dont get your hopes up ! Link to post Share on other sites
lvm Posted August 8, 2011 Share Posted August 8, 2011 This is exactly what I was trying to say. We all rebound to an extent. Well, to tell the truth, I didn't rebound as quickly as my ex, for I spent a few weeks in my room, isolating myself from everyone. But over the past month or so, I've rebounded in so many ways. It's how we rebound that matters. We have to fill that void with something. I've been hanging out with friends more, getting to know myself again, going back to my hobbies and so on. Others choose a more self-destructive route. It's these people who tend to come back. However, it's usually after you've healed and if you chose a non-destructive route, you will most likely be past the point on reconciliation, where they may be just starting to deal with the pain because they used destructive methods to mask it rather than deal with it up front as we have. This isn't 100% obviously. This is my theory and I feel it's rather accurate for the most part. I've chosen self-destructive methods in the past to mask the pain and it only extends it to be honest. Eventually, if you've bottled it up, it's going to come out and you're going to have to deal with it, so you might as well begin from the start. TRUTH! I've been on both sides and have experienced this. I've been the dumper who has chosen self-destructive ways (more specifically rebounding) and the dumpee who has had the ex come back after dating around frantically. I guess I just get frustrated to read of stereotypes of a "dumper" - we're all human and feelings can't be swept under the rug that quickly. I can say 100% that I have been "rebounding", but in a healthy way that is not harming other people. Does a rebound mean that they will realize and come back? Not always... but I do agree, with quick rebounding it only magnifies the hurt because a) it was repressed and not dealt with and b) the person feels worse not only about things that happened in the relationship but also because of the actions afterwards. Link to post Share on other sites
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