DNU1 Posted July 6, 2011 Share Posted July 6, 2011 Some of you know my story, but it's been a long, long time since I posted here. Married in 1991, my now-Ex had her first affairs while in medical school about 4 years in to our marriage. I stuck with her and we worked things out, started a family, I left four different career paths to support her medical career, etc. Life seemed good. Then came two more affairs (a total of four that I know of) and I finally screwed up the courage to kick her to the curb. That was May of 2009. Two years later, after an icky divorce and some not-so-successful dating, I'm happy to say I've met a woman who is amazing. She treats me well, loves her kids, and MY KIDS, is honest, open, caring...i could go on and on. I was very active on this and another board, trying to support those who wanted to try and save their marriage. Work, kiddos (they live with me), new girlfriend have really kept me busy, too busy to post here much. But I wanted to jump in here and throw out this little bit of advice: when it's 4th and long, don't be afraid to call in the special teams and punt. Yes, it sounds scary, but there are many, many, MANY good people out there who understand the importance of a relationship, of trust, of caring, people who will treat you right. You don't have to live life walking on eggshells, or wondering just where your spouse is today/tonight, who they are talking to, texting, e-mailing, etc. You will know when it's time... I have no regrets, none what so ever. I'm very proud of how I handled myself throughout my marriage and through my divorce. And I'm proud of the person I am today. That's it. Stay strong. Take care, D. *he drops the mic and walks off stage* 13 Link to post Share on other sites
FreeNow Posted July 6, 2011 Share Posted July 6, 2011 *FreeNow stands* *Applauds* Well said! Thank you for writing that. Many people need to read it. Link to post Share on other sites
gpatb43 Posted July 6, 2011 Share Posted July 6, 2011 DNU1 - good for you. Personally, one episode of infidelity is bad but the key to a 2nd chance (in my humble opinion) is the behavior of the WS after D-Day. Any repetition certainly means the end of the road because (and again its just my humble opinion) one affair is vastly different from someone who engages in a pattern of affairs. I truly believe in the power of forgiveness and rehabilitation, but that does not extend to those who abuse time and again. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted July 6, 2011 Share Posted July 6, 2011 :bunny::bunny:dancing the happy dance. There can be a great life after the punt. Link to post Share on other sites
2.50 a gallon Posted July 6, 2011 Share Posted July 6, 2011 I second DNUI's post. At first it is so scary to consider life alone, but it did not take long before I realized that there was a large cloud of lonely females out there looking for a nice guy to share their lives with. Over the next decade I met at least one a year who could have been the next Mrs. Gallon, but I was too hurt and afraid Luckily I finally did meet one who was able to melt my walls, we have been together now for almost 16 years, and I am still in awe of the feelings that we have for each other. She is the kindest sweetest person I and most others who know her have ever met. And in the looks department she is totally out of my league, but I totally trust her. We both know what we have found in each other neither of us take our relationship for granted, Like Romero said, "The more I give the more I get" and I am not in it for the getting, I am in it for the giving. Divorce was the best thing that ever happened to me 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Mimolicious Posted July 6, 2011 Share Posted July 6, 2011 Some of you know my story, but it's been a long, long time since I posted here. Married in 1991, my now-Ex had her first affairs while in medical school about 4 years in to our marriage. I stuck with her and we worked things out, started a family, I left four different career paths to support her medical career, etc. Life seemed good. Then came two more affairs (a total of four that I know of) and I finally screwed up the courage to kick her to the curb. That was May of 2009. Two years later, after an icky divorce and some not-so-successful dating, I'm happy to say I've met a woman who is amazing. She treats me well, loves her kids, and MY KIDS, is honest, open, caring...i could go on and on. I was very active on this and another board, trying to support those who wanted to try and save their marriage. Work, kiddos (they live with me), new girlfriend have really kept me busy, too busy to post here much. But I wanted to jump in here and throw out this little bit of advice: when it's 4th and long, don't be afraid to call in the special teams and punt. Yes, it sounds scary, but there are many, many, MANY good people out there who understand the importance of a relationship, of trust, of caring, people who will treat you right. You don't have to live life walking on eggshells, or wondering just where your spouse is today/tonight, who they are talking to, texting, e-mailing, etc. You will know when it's time... I have no regrets, none what so ever. I'm very proud of how I handled myself throughout my marriage and through my divorce. And I'm proud of the person I am today. That's it. Stay strong. Take care, D. *he drops the mic and walks off stage* I feel the same way you do! *Cheers to us!* 1 Link to post Share on other sites
2long Posted July 7, 2011 Share Posted July 7, 2011 DNU1 is clearly a success story! -ol' 2long Link to post Share on other sites
YellowShark Posted July 7, 2011 Share Posted July 7, 2011 Once a cheater not always a cheater. Twice a cheater... ALWAYS a cheater. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
imagine Posted July 7, 2011 Share Posted July 7, 2011 DNU Waaait... Record all the good things about your gf. Write them down!!!! This is the before picture. Call us back each year .... who knows, she may get better. Regards Link to post Share on other sites
imagine Posted July 7, 2011 Share Posted July 7, 2011 DNU Waaait... Record all the good things about your gf. Write them down!!!! This is the before picture. Call us back each year .... who knows, she may get better. Regards Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted July 7, 2011 Share Posted July 7, 2011 Glad to hear that things are going well for you, DNU! Not every marriage CAN or SHOULD continue after infidelity. Sounds to me like you made some good choices and worked it out to some good conclusions. Rock on man...rock on! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted July 8, 2011 Share Posted July 8, 2011 If it's covered in pig skin, then it should be punted. Does that include if the pig is still breathing;)? Link to post Share on other sites
Author DNU1 Posted December 20, 2016 Author Share Posted December 20, 2016 Rolling back in after a long, LONG absence. My Ex-wife's sister reached out to me this morning...her husband of of 5 years, and father to their 2 year old daughter has been cheating. She asked for advice...I've referred her here. Sadness. Hopefully they can recover. My Update: EX has been married for three years. Her hubby is a great guy and great step-dad to my DD's. He and the EX have a 18 month old son. He's a cute little dude. EX is 48 this year, her hubby 39. They have a long way to go with parenting. Glad it's them and not me. My oldest daughter is 18 and a senior. She's been struggling with eating disorder for 3+ years. Up and down. Her Mom battled ED as well. She has great support from family, counselor, dietitian, and psychologist. Youngest turned 16 in July...she's doing well with driving and her Junior year of HS. Her and Sister won Softball State Championship in October. Good times for both of them! Me and my Redhead are doing great! It will be seven years together in May. Kids are great, life is great. Hang in there people...if you do decide to "Plan D" there is hope. Daubs...out : ) 10 Link to post Share on other sites
aliveagain Posted December 21, 2016 Share Posted December 21, 2016 Good for you and I guess there is Karma, 48 with a 18 month old, bless you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
flowergirl14 Posted December 22, 2016 Share Posted December 22, 2016 Love to hear success stories! Gives me hope for myself and courage! Link to post Share on other sites
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