Are some women simply incapable of having a healthy relationship?

[udolipixie]

No if he was really good he'd leave.

 

Your response is like an excuses for men's bad taste.

 

I'd also question his taste of women.

 

1. He actually wants commit to the type of person who'd chest on him?

I'm aware he's not going to but he wants to.

 

2. The fact he's staying with her is another thing to make me question his taste

 

3. The fact he chose to be in a relationship with that type of woman.

 

By good I mean good at covering his a**

[Floridaman]

Here's a summary: Dating good guys just gets her successful healthy relationships which is a good thing. She gets the benefit of good romantic experiences & no damages except breakups. She remains a person who has the ability to keep attracting/keeping good guys.

 

So she essentially remains the same girl who

 

All well and good until she gets older. She'll be categorized with other women based on assumptions & the guys who bother to find out she's not will just continue the serial monogamy cycle.

 

Good because she has healthy relationships however the option to marry is severely even more limited than dating worthwhile guys.

 

Why? Instead of "he may want to marry but just not marry me." other factors come in - "he may want to settle down with a younger woman to start a family with as it's easier".

 

Sounds like a whole lotta assumptions there.

 

You seem to be using that POSSIBLE scenario to screen-out the Good Guys your age-- and predict their later behavior.

[elleorbianca]

Women, stop defending yourselves.

 

It's so obvious that some male posters are projecting that it's hilarious. I'm literally laughing.

 

So these men are upset at women their age who they chased in their youth. They are upset because while them, the "good guys", pursued these women, the women chased "bad boys" instead of giving them the time of day.

 

Doesn't that automatically mean these men were doing the exact same thing they are accusing the women of? They were chasing "bad girls": girls who were obviously bad for them in their youth instead of going for "good girls" who may have been happy to give them the time of day and settle down.

 

Let's be honest. The majority of people, both male and female, do not think straight in their youth. They go after the most sexually "attractive" partners that have the most options and are less likely to settle down. Obviously, not all attractive people utilize their options. Afterall, some great catches do get married young. But a large number of early and mid twenties think like this. As you age, with experience and wisdom, men and women realize what they really should be looking for in a mate.

 

Stop whining. You now feel an air of superiority because a woman's sexual market value tends to drop a little bit faster than men. Be happy that you can still pull a young woman even though you made bad choices and pursued bad girls in your youth. These women were doing exactly what you were doing. Drop the bitterness

[fortyninethousand322]

Women, stop defending yourselves.

 

It's so obvious that some male posters are projecting that it's hilarious. I'm literally laughing.

 

So these men are upset at women their age who they chased in their youth. They are upset because while them, the "good guys", pursued these women, the women chased "bad boys" instead of giving them the time of day.

 

Doesn't that automatically mean these men were doing the exact same thing they are accusing the women of? They were chasing "bad girls": girls who were obviously bad for them in their youth instead of going for "good girls" who may have been happy to give them the time of day and settle down.

 

Let's be honest. The majority of people, both male and female, do not think straight in their youth. They go after the most sexually "attractive" partners that have the most options and are less likely to settle down. Obviously, not all attractive people utilize their options. Afterall, some great catches do get married young. But a large number of early and mid twenties think like this. As you age, with experience and wisdom, men and women realize what they really should be looking for in a mate.

 

Stop whining. You now feel an air of superiority because a woman's sexual market value tends to drop a little bit faster than men. Be happy that you can still pull a young woman even though you made bad choices and pursued bad girls in your youth. These women were doing exactly what you were doing. Drop the bitterness

 

Well I'm still technically a "youth" at 23 and thus I don't have the experience and wisdom with which to look back on my past, but your post really doesn't apply to me in any way. The girls I "chased" so far were all intellectual/nerd types with whom I had things in common. They weren't "bad girls" by any objective measure.

[elleorbianca]

Well I'm still technically a "youth" at 23 and thus I don't have the experience and wisdom with which to look back on my past, but your post really doesn't apply to me in any way. The girls I "chased" so far were all intellectual/nerd types with whom I had things in common. They weren't "bad girls" by any objective measure.

1) Were you in this thread going back and forth about older women, in their youth, not giving you the time a day because they were too busy chasing bad boys? If not, I wasn't talking to/about you.

 

2) Were these intellectual/ nerd types too busy chasing bad boys to recognize you (assuming you are a good guy)? If so, they are bad girls because they are bad for you.

[fortyninethousand322]

1) Were you in this thread going back and forth about older women, in their youth, not giving you the time a day because they were too busy chasing bad boys? If not, I wasn't talking to/about you.

 

2) Were these intellectual/ nerd types too busy chasing bad boys to recognize you (assuming you are a good guy)? If so, they are bad girls because they are bad for you.

 

Fair enough. I was just pointing out that there really are good people getting left on the shelf repeatedly, and that not all people in their 20s are looking for a good time at the expense of settling down. And to be honest I agree with a lot (though not all) of what these guys have been saying in this thread. It just makes sense to me.

 

Eh...it really doesn't matter much to me anymore anyway.

[elleorbianca]

I just want to know why it's ok for these good boys to go after bad girls but it's not ok for young women to go after bad boys.

 

Maybe these women feel like they can't find a nice guy to settle down with, just like it is the perception of many male posters that they can't find a woman who is willing to settle down with them instead of chasing a "bad boy".

 

The truth is, it's hard to find mutual attraction, compatibility, and amazing life goals all in the same person (male or female). There is no point in being bitter about it.

 

I know way more girls than guys who want to settle down with a "good" partner.

 

Many nerd/ intellectual type woman are looking to settle down soon because they realize that by virtue of their career goals, they will soon limit their choices. On the other hand, many nerd/ intellectual men are waiting it out until they are at the peak of their career because they realize that achieving their career goals actually increase their choices. In the mean time, these "nice guys" string women along, knowing that they don't plan on marrying them (when the women made it clear that was their goal). To me, that is cruel and very common.

 

Both women and men can seem heartless, but to be honest, they are usually just being selfish, not intentionally hurtful.

[Woggle]

Why do you assume that men only go after bad girls? Some women can hide their true nature very well and a man only sees it when he is too caught up with her. Also men are told that we are too judgmental and sexist if we judge a woman based on her past so many men give the benefit of the doubt and end up getting burned.

 

My coworker and the woman who cheated on him with a jerk are both in their 30s so they are far from being youngsters who want to utilize all their options.

 

If none of this applies to a woman then she has no reason to defend herself. I am clearly not talking about all women but there is an overall trend these days that can't be denied. Just look at this forum if you want proof.

[Woggle]

 

I know way more girls than guys who want to settle down with a "good" partner.

 

Many nerd/ intellectual type woman are looking to settle down soon because they realize that by virtue of their career goals, they will soon limit their choices. On the other hand, many nerd/ intellectual men are waiting it out until they are at the peak of their career because they realize that achieving their career goals actually increase their choices. In the mean time, these "nice guys" string women along, knowing that they don't plan on marrying them (when the women made it clear that was their goal). To me, that is cruel and very common.

 

Both women and men can seem heartless, but to be honest, they are usually just being selfish, not intentionally hurtful.

 

 

Many women say want to settle down with a good partner but when you put one in front of them some freak out and run for the hills

 

Nerdy men who hold out for a hot babe usually tried sincerely to commit in their younger days and women either outright ignored them, cheated on them or dumped them out of the blue. After they have some success it is payback time. They have options and they will take full advantage of the power shift. It's not right but that is how they look at it.

[elleorbianca]

Why do you assume that men only go after bad girls? Some women can hide their true nature very well and a man only sees it when he is too caught up with her. Also men are told that we are too judgmental and sexist if we judge a woman based on her past so many men give the benefit of the doubt and end up getting burned.

 

My coworker and the woman who cheated on him with a jerk are both in their 30s so they are far from being youngsters who want to utilize all their options.

 

If none of this applies to a woman then she has no reason to defend herself. I am clearly not talking about all women but there is an overall trend these days that can't be denied. Just look at this forum if you want proof.

Why do you assume that women only go after bad girls? Some men can hide their true nature very well and a young woman only sees it when she is too caught up with him. Also women are told that they are too judgmental, materialistic and entitled if they judge a man based on his past so many women give the benefit of the doubt and end up getting burned.

 

My coworker and the man who cheated on her with a skank are both in their 30s so they are far from being youngsters who want to utilize all their options.

See what I did there

 

So these men get tricked by these evil genius women who can hide their true colors but the women who go after jerks saw all the signs and just chose to go out with a man who would hurt her? gtfohwtbs

 

If you are not talking about all women then there would be no reason to talk at all. After all, if these men were looking to settle down in their youth, they only need to settle down with ONE woman, not all women or most women. Are you saying that these good guys could not find ONE woman who wasn't into bad boys in their youth?

 

Or maybe there were other factors that made the situation not work? Lack of attraction and compatibility perhaps?

 

Why is it ok for men to pursue whatever superficial whims attract them, then complain they were tricked and deceived when they get burned. But not ok for women to do the same.

 

Many women say want to settle down with a good partner but when you put one in front of them some freak out and run for the hills

Many men say want to settle down with a good partner but when you put one in front of them some freak out and run for the hills

 

Usually because she isn't "hot" enough

 

 

Nerdy men who hold out for a hot babe usually tried sincerely to commit in their younger days and women either outright ignored them, cheated on them or dumped them out of the blue. After they have some success it is payback time. They have options and they will take full advantage of the power shift. It's not right but that is how they look at it.

For the most part, this is BS. Relatively attractive, socially adept, intellectual men are smart enough to know that after they get some $$$, they can pull a much hotter girl than they can get before they hit the jackpot. Or maybe they know that they can get a girl much younger than themselves later on. So they keep the woman who is there from the start to keep them warm in the mean time then dump her when he can trade up before committing to marriage. They then go on to marry a younger, hotter babe. It's all calculated and superficial. I don't mind it. But let's be honest.

 

This is what leads to the high number of single (and possibly bitter over being dumped) women in their 30s.

 

For the guys who do fall under the category that you describe, maybe they weren't attractive or interesting for whatever reason. I guess only men are allowed to judge women by those standards without the threat of ridicule.

[Woggle]

All you did was repost what I typed without addressing anything I said.

 

I don't know if these women are evil geniuses but many women are really good at hiding their true colors or they switch at the drop of a dime. Just ask any man who had his wife change into a person he doesn't even recognize.

 

Men who purposely seek out no good women deserve what they get as well but most women are not that obvious. I see women go after men who are just glaringly wrong yet act like the victim when it blows up in their face. Look at all the women who go after married men.

 

It is a proven fact that women end most relationships so I don't know where all these bitter women in their 30s are.

[rafallus]

It is a proven fact that women end most relationships so I don't know where all these bitter women in their 30s are.

 

Trying to have their cake and eat it too, but failing miserably at it?