A scared man looks for consolation, advice, anything really

[lostandblurred]

I looked in the message icon section for a fitting little yellow face for this situation, but I couldn't find one. I was looking for the "I am an awkward person" emoticon, but I guess they don't have that on this message board. Oh well.

 

This is kind of the spin-off of my previous thread, "Advice for a Spineless Guy". That was Happy Days, this is that other one with Chachie. Or that was Cheers, and this is Frazier. Or that was CSI and this is CSI Miami.

 

Anyway, when we last left the awkward protagonist of the series, he was asking the public if he should ask a girl out. Spurred by the responses here and other stuff in the real world, he decided to do it. Now only the action remains. (Oh, yeah, and in the TV series of my life, I am played by the kid from Almost Famous -- Frankie Muniz wanted the part, but I was like, "no way")

 

So, now I am left -- a guy with no previous experience in this field -- with the action. I'm going to do it tomorrow. But here's my question: how? I've been dancing around this action for months now, thinking about it for years. I feel like I'm going to get to doing it and when I realize I'm about to say her name and "date" in the same sentence, I'll just start speaking in gibberish and slowly sink down to the floor, where I'll lie motionless in the fetal position.

 

So I want to ask her out for a movie on Sunday. I'm not sure exactly what her situation is with the whole dating thing, but I'm pretty sure she's still available. I was thinking (after adequete small talk):

 

"Hey, I don't know where you are in this sense of things, but... do you want to see a movie Sunday?"

 

Any glaring faults? Other suggestions? Should I just do it? Any consoling stories of your first times in my situation? Pretty much anything loosely relevant is greatly appreciated. I think I'm posting just to talk off the nervousness.

[dyermaker]

Originally posted by lostandblurred

I am played by the kid from Almost Famous -- Frankie Muniz wanted the part, but I was like, "no way"

Patrick Fugit!

 

I feel like I'm going to get to doing it and when I realize I'm about to say her name and "date" in the same sentence, I'll just start speaking in gibberish and slowly sink down to the floor, where I'll lie motionless in the fetal position.

Don't call it that then

 

"Hey, I don't know where you are in this sense of things, but... do you want to see a movie Sunday?"

Ditch the first part, and add specifics.

 

Do you want to see Kill Bill 2/That Lenin Movie/Some other specific title @ Century 24 Theatres at 4:45?--I want to take you there.

 

This way she's rejecting the date, if rejection occurs, and not rejecting YOU--you'll be able to tell by the way it's rejected how she feels about you, without the awkward wierdness that comes with being rejected.

 

If she doesn't offer a reschedule, you're out--but it's no big deal

[lostandblurred]

Thanks.

 

That sounds like a really good date movie. "That Lenin Movie".

 

"Hey, you want to see That Lenin Movie? I hear Chris Walken is freaking amazing as Lenin. And with Eugene Levy as Trotsky, it should be a lesson in history... the history of laffs!" (please notice mimicked cutesy spelling error torn straight out of the ad campaign).

 

Should I really drop the first bit? I feel like I'm assuming too much if I do, since I really am not positive she's available. I think she is, but so many guys are vying for her attention -- I can't be sure.

 

Is there really a Lenin movie out? I was thinking the new Kaufman flick, but Lenin might be too good to pass up.

[dyermaker]

Originally posted by lostandblurred

Should I really drop the first bit? I feel like I'm assuming too much if I do, since I really am not positive she's available. I think she is, but so many guys are vying for her attention -- I can't be sure.

Totally drop the first part. If she's not free, she'll let you know, don't defeat yourself.

Is there really a Lenin movie out? I was thinking the new Kaufman flick, but Lenin might be too good to pass up.

Yeah, smartass

 

I dunno if it's everywhere, I live in a city where Lenin movies would be more prone to being shown, it could be a local thing--I think it's not though.

[lostandblurred]

Thanks, Dyer, for talking me out of my panic yesterday night. Today I was scared, but knowing all that you all have said to me, I got through it.

 

I asked her after school. It was kind of an out-of-body experience. I totally forgot your coaching on dropping the first part and making it more specific, Dyermaker, and I went with exactly what I had before. You were right, I think, but my brain wasn't working straight.

 

I went, after talking with her for a little, "I don't know where you are in this sense of things, but..."

 

And then I became momentarily dead. I realized a second later that she was waiting for a phrase to complete the sentence.

 

"Ah, do you want to see a movie this weekend?"

 

(again with the forgetting the coaching)

 

I tried to put on my best disarming smile. She beamed at me and started with "Oh My God". Putting the smile and exclamation together, I figured out that I was being accepted.

 

Apparently, she was going to ask me, too, and I just barely beat her to it. She suggested a movie (which was the one I was thinking, anyway), and I promised to call her with showtimes.

 

So thanks again. I was glowing for a good hour afterward, and now it seems not quite real. I have you and everyone in the original message to thank for getting me started on this. I'll no doubt have more questions as the time gets closer, but you guys have been invaluable in getting this far.

[dyermaker]

I'm very glad to hear it.

[sadie]

hey,

i can't give you a definite answer but for me personally, if a guy asks me out they are alot more attractive if they seem confident and not nervous. I know it sounds weird, but try to ask her so that it appears like you aren't overly worried about a negative response because any trace of obsession or desperation can be scary and unappealing. Not to say that you are either but its natural that if you really like this girl they you will have thought alot about her therefore you probably have your heart set on something coming of this. try not to sound like you've been practicing your speech - just try to be relaxed and say 'hey, how are you? what are you doing saturday? fancy catching a movie?'

 

Now if i liked a guy i would be really happy if he asked me out on a date and i'd of course say yes but if not i'd make some excuse like 'sorry, i'm busy this weekend, maybe some other time'. One thing that you may want to think about - the movies is fine, but your not gonna be able to talk to her and your gonna have to sit there for two hours in silence maybe feeling abit awkward. I guess it depends what your into and how well you know her really. Anyway, hope my post is useful in someway!