Feeling Very Down and Lost

[Depressed Lad]

I have split up with my girlfriend after a year... And I feel so low, so down and so upset that I am struggling to cope.

 

The mad thing is that I know she was not the one for me.. I found texts to her ex on her phone arranging to meet up, and telling him she had been thinking about him a lot..

 

She put me down, was evil to me, chipped away at my confidence (which was in abundance when I met her and is now at rock bottom).

 

We split up on the Friday 2 weeks ago- she then announced there was a guy from work who she could not wait to sleep with on the Saturday!! I am not sure if she did or not, but she then deleted her Facebook and set a new one up with a pic of him and her!!! (2 days after we split!!)

 

I literally would have done anything for this girl and she has ripped me apart! She put me down, she texted her ex, she told me I was ugly, she told me she had "settled" for me, all her friends say she could do better etc etc.

 

Now we are 2 weeks into no contact and I am going out of my mind... Like I am in cold turkey from a drug my days are in a routine of wake up, check my phone to see if she has called/text (she never has), go to work an think about her all day- trawl the internet for clues as to her whereabouts or what she is doing and with who- the thought of her with a new fella makes me feel sick to the core. She is an attractive girl and will not be short of offers, so I worry that she will get over me so much easier than I will get over her.. I am not a bad looking lad, but at present I worry I am going to be alone forever and never get another pretty girlfriend.

 

Help!!!

[thelovingkind]

I know exactly how you feel bud The good thing is you can openly acknowledge how terrible she was for you. The bad thing is that there's no way at all to translate that knowledge into instantly removing the pain you're currently feeling. Basically you have lost your drug - the romantic attachment high - and just like knowing that smoking is bad for you doesn't make quitting any easier, knowing your ex is bad for you doesn't alleviate that horrible, soul-sucking feeling of emptiness and despair in the first weeks. Just remember that all your feelings of utter despair ("Alone forever, never find another pretty girlfriend") are totally normal at this stage, totally to be expected, and totally untrue. I was right there just four weeks ago. Now here I am, coming out the other side, starting to get excited about the possibility of meeting someone else. These feelings will pass, you're just in the darkest hour at the moment but we're all here to support you.

[Depressed Lad]

Cheers pal..

 

You are correct, she was a messed up girl with a LOT of issues of her own, and her low self esteem she decided to help by using me as a punchbag, and I was so happy go lucky, so full of life that I didn't notice I was being dragged down until it was too late.

 

Now I find myself at the lowest point I have even been at in my life!!!

 

I even feel a bit ashamed at not being stronger, and how I am letting this girl get to me so much. I know I am too good for her, I know I am a better man than her ex or this new fella but it still doesn't help with the heartache.

 

I have a holiday with all my mates next week and I don't want thoughts of this girl and this upset to ruin it for me...

 

Quitting smoking is a great likeness, or quitting drinking- you know it is for the best, and that eventually it will be better for your health and wellbeing, but I am currently craving that cigarette and the fact I cannot have it makes it so so so much more appealing...

 

The other aspect of it is that I just wish she would acknowledge that she has lost a diamond, a lad who was loyal, respectful, happy, caring, loving, and would have done anything for her, but she was just obsessed with money, and the lifestyle he could provide her in lieu of her self respect and trust.