What Should I do? Despartely Need some Help

[pleas]

I have been dating a girl for nearly a year now. Recently she went to spring break with a couple of friends from her school both of whom were female but they brought along one of their friends who is male. I thought i could trust her so I called her saturday mornign and she said she had gotten wasted the night before, which is understandable, so i asked her where she slept, and she said in the bed with that guy. I freaked out. But she assured me that nothing happened and all they did was sleep. I let it go and when they got back I asked if she kept his number in her phone and she said no. So I forgot all about it. A couple weeks later I found out that she had the guys number hidden under a differnet name in her phone, with the ring tone set to lets get it on. I had to find this out for myself when i was going through her phone and trying to find a different number. She still swears that all they did was talk and she said she was attracted to his personality not his looks. I kept asking more questions and all she could answer was "i dont know" like when i asked about the ring tone. I am kind of skeptical because i am the eleventh person she has slept with and shes only 20. Since then she said she has deleted him from her screen name and they no longer talk but i keep thinking about the whole situation. What do yall think?

[jmargel]

All the signs are not pointing to anything good. She's not being honest with you and you deserve that. Alcohol is NO excuse for what she did.

[Bryanp]

Hello,

 

I think you know the truth. She has had numerous sexual experiences.

She gets drunk and sleeps in the same bed with this guy. She lies to you about keeping his phone number. She hides his phone number and has a tone for him only playing lets get it on. She is attracted to his personality and does not know why she lied to you hiding his phone number?

 

Time for a harsh reality check my friend. It seems obvious she probably screwed this guy. She has no problem lying to you about his phone number and cannot give you an explanation why she has a special tone for his number playing "Lets get it on"? I think you do not need to have a piano fall on your head to realize what has been going on. I strongly suggest that you move on and find someone who can respect your love and relationship. Your girlfriend is a liar for a sure and an untrustworthy person at the very least. Why would you want to settle for this? She has completely disrespected and humiliated you.

 

A person's past behavior is the best predictor for future behavior. Why do you wish to give your love to a liar. She will only break your heart down the road and I think down deep you realize this. I wish you luck but I think you need to find someone else down the road who you can really respect which is not your present girlfriend.

[mommy78]

I can never understand why people do these types of things. I can never understand why anyone stays in a relationship and cheats. Why not break up, then go mess around? I just dont get it.

 

You will never know what "really" happened or if she really is telling you the truth. Your always gonna "wonder". It's up to you if you wanna go through the pain or dont even bother. It's hard to say if anything happened or not. Maybe nothing did happen. I know I've done what she did (keep someone's number on my phone under a different name, even a girls name). I never got caught by my bf, but it wasnt my intention to cheat. Why did I even bother to keep the number.....honestly.....I kept it "just in case." Meaning, just in case things dont work out with my bf and I OR just because he was a cool person to talk to. I'm not the type to cheat anyway so its not like I would've "fallen" for someone else. I love my bf too much to do that. But now that we have a child, I've changed all that. Meeting new people and having friends as guys do not matter to me anymore.

 

But I have been through this before. For some reason I stayed with him. Been with this guy for 5 1/2 years. Things are better but I still wonder if what he told me is the truth or not. I suffer from "the past" and that hurts our relationship. I've been depressed for a number of times. Had a few counseling experiences, they told me to let go of the past since it was a long time ago, but believe me, its hard as ever.

 

Your still early in the relationship, so its really up to you on what you want to do. Stay with her and believe her but always keep wondering about it. Or just let her go because no one deserves this.

 

Good Luck!

[Becks84]

Nicely put - you are always going to wonder. You obviously don't believe her and dont have 100% trust in her, or you would not be asking us for advice right now. It's up to you if you want to go on with these things in the back of your head, and not really knowing if you can trust her. Her past would freak me out. Without trust you dont have much. I want to say leave her...but maybe you should talk to her first, tell her straighout everything on your mind and that you're thinking of breaking it off. see how she reacts.