thelovingkind Posted July 6, 2011 Share Posted July 6, 2011 (I can tell because it shows me who's recently visited) Honestly to all those dumpees with exes who've run off with others either straight after the break up or who started cheating before: it's not even that much easier (if it's easier at all) when someone breaks up with you just to be alone. I actually wish he'd run off with someone a little cuter or a little richer or a little more fun by now (four weeks on). At least then I'd know I was up there in the running but got pipped at the line by someone with a bit of an edge. But my ex used to say how miserable and lonely he was before we met, and how he'd been waiting years for someone like me to come along. So now in light of the break up I just imagine him weighing things up: Miserable and alone versus Being in a relationship with me. I can't believe I can't win a toss up like that. It's so demoralising to know that my ex, who used to adore me and couldn't get enough of me, is now sitting ten minutes drive away, on his own, lonely, and I'm sitting here, on my own, lonely, and we could be together but we're not because his feelings evaporated to the point that he'd rather be lonely. I know it's stupid to feel this but it makes me feel unattractive and not fun to be around Ah well, this is just a minor set back really. I know I'm doing fine with the moving on, spotless record with NC this time, etc. I tried to cry tonight but I couldn't simply because there was nothing left to cry. I think I have more-or-less moved on, but I'm in that post-moving on slump where you are no longer actively grieving for your ex, but no other prospects have moved onto the radar screen, so when you do have lonely moments (and even the happiest single does) your mind drifts back to your ex simply because that's the last memory of being warm, intimate and loving with another person. It probably doesn't help that it's 12:20am, a weak moment for me, because that was cuddling in bed and pillow talk time Friends and family can't replace that. Link to post Share on other sites
Cantcope Posted July 6, 2011 Share Posted July 6, 2011 I'm so sorry for you. Keep your head up. My ex works on the other side of my office wall and lives in the next building, so I know what you mean about each of you being lonely when you could be together. This whole break up thing sucks. No way around that, but stay strong. I can't even believe these words are typing from my hands, but....there was life before them, and there is life after them too. Link to post Share on other sites
flitzanu Posted July 6, 2011 Share Posted July 6, 2011 its an honest thing to do. i've had the displeasure of breaking up with someone for no other reason than realizing i wasn't "feeling it". no use dragging them along. Link to post Share on other sites
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