It is love

[skyphone]

Hello all, im writing about the events that have taken place during the last few months because i have to tell someone, and could do with some reflection about this.

 

It all started when a new flatmate moved downstairs in our shared house, she is from Germany and is 22 and she was at university here. I am 34 and also at university but we are studying different subjects. Anyhow to cut a long story short we became good friends over the months; we got on so well and i suppose because we were living in the same place, we also got used to each others company. Nothing ever intimate happened between us, although we would laugh and joke about our previous escapades. I suppose we became (and still are i hope) good friends. We have a good spark, and from my experience this does not happen alot, which is half the reason i feel like writing this. The girl had planned to go abroad for a year as part of her degree and im happy for her, as she is still young and has the ability to go far and do well for herself. So, about a week before she left i felt we were becoming more and more attached emotionally because we new we would not see each other again for a year. We did not tell each other we love each other outright but it was pretty obvious that there was alot of love between us during that last week. I have been in love before, but this was more maternal, like losing a sister and a good friend. We promised to stay in touch and meet up again just like friends do. However, it felt like, in that last week, that a boundary had been crossed, like this friendship had got stronger, and im not sure if got out of control. During that last week we both knew that we would miss each other. We did not care for so much emotional conversation, but our feelings were wild. She asked me to accompany her to the train station to get her train to the airport. We hugged and talked about going travelling with each other next year. Anyway the moment came to say farewell, and im no good at goodbyes, we both became so quiet, i asked her if she wanted to kiss me before she left (she said no, maybe just as well in hindsight). Then she walked through the barrier. That was the last time i saw her, but i sensed her say goodbye as her train pulled out. The next morning i cried. We did not set out to hurt each other but this is what happened in the end.

 

Now i need some reassurance that i have done nothing wrong, i asked asked to kiss her and this has maybe ruined our friendship but it felt the right thing to do. If we do see each other again i hope i can explain that i never meant to hurt her feelings and i wish her all the luck in the world. Im not sure what to think. I should wait for her to contact me i think.