to interested in my brain??

[esdn]

alright I'd like to start out by saying this is NOT your normal.........ehhh whatever we are.

 

I've been talking online to D for about a year. For roughly 10 months it was completely above board. Slight flirting but we're both naturally flirty so it was never serious. Most of our conversations were about sci fi and other fun nerdisms lol.

 

We get along way to well. We'd talked several times about hanging out, but our schedules are complete opposites so it was usually just mentioned and forgotten. Our conversations would randomly touch on a sex in more of an information sharing way then a personal way ( I work on an adult chat line (yes seriously) and come on hours of talking about everything, eventually we're gonna get to jobs and mine just opens the sex talk door) We'll it was right about then that we both started taking a more active interest in each other. I'm very Submissive and been contemplating exploring that, He's very Dominate and has been wanting to find a sub for awhile now.....of course at some point we're going to start getting curious.

 

About 3 months ago we moved from im and email to texting. about 2 months ago we started talking on the phone. we would have these 4 hour long conversations about everything under the sun. of course this was over a week period where he was on vacation and had the free time when I wasn't busy. we decided to meet during that time.

 

we spoke before hand and decided that if for any reason either of us decided that we weren't interested, we'd simply say we changed our minds and the curiosity would be dropped, no questions asked, and we would stick to being just friends.

 

neither of us wanted to drop it. we get along great and well.....the sex is awesome. we still talk alot, about all sorts of random things.

 

this is going to sound nuts.....

 

so my problem is (insecurity and) the fact that I honestly don't know how serious this is. or what it is for that matter. I know its a dom/sub relationship. Its open to a point. I'm pretty sure he's not with anyone else and I'm only allowed to be if I seek permission and show evidence afterwords. I haven't exorcised that option yet by the way.

 

I told you it wasn't a regular thing.

 

I know he talks like its going to be an ongoing thing. he's made comments several times about how he may have found the sub he's been looking for, how awesome we get along, I've noticed he'll text me when he's having a bad day just to kind of rant. We'll randomly talk about the most obscure things. We'll start on sex and end up on firefly or stargate and then talk about cars for an hour before going back to sex.

 

the thing is, before we meet up, we build up whats going to happen like its going to be a hours of lust and happiness. and the happiness is there, its just more like hanging out. seriously. we'll like get the sex out of the way and then sit for hours at a time watching movies and talking. a stranger walking in would have no idea we'd just had sex. or ever had for that matter.

 

don't get me wrong, I love the talking. and we get along really well. I guess I'm confused as to if he's just as happy to just sit and talk as he is when we're naked? or if its more like he's not really that attracted but likes having a submissive girl around that will do what he wants sexually, but can just kinda hang out and be comfortable and joke around with.

 

yeah basically I'm the only chick on the planet thats worried that a guy might be too interested in her brain. go figure.

[MandyMustMate]

Honestly I think you've got something very strong going for you with this guy!

 

I can relate too, today my friend who has trouble staying with one man for an extended period asked me: How is it that you've been with ____ for 2.5 years and not gotten bored?

I asked "Bored of what?"

And she said "Conversation."

 

Me and my boyfriend often do what you've just described: Have sex, talk for a few hours then do it again.

 

And it seems that both are ultimately very satisfying for him, and that is certainly how I feel too. Given that this has worked for us as long as it has, I'm positive you've got nothing to worry about.

 

Enjoy the "Hanging out" aspect of it. It's better when it's not too fiery and emotional if you ask me. Just... Chilled out. Nice way to relax. I think that's a healthy way to enjoy both sex and the post-chatting.

 

Encourage him to talk openly with you about any other women in his life, friends, potentials, anyone. Just so you're aware and could perhaps predict whether or not someone else is going to suddenly come into the picture. In doing this, hopefully you'll get a sense of where you two are at, what you are, and how monogamous or not you're going to end up being and you can figure out what you are to him, in your mind, so you can feel a little more at peace and less insecure. Better yet, just ask him if you have doubts. If he cares about your feelings he should hopefully help you to understand what HE considers your relationship to be and where he thinks it may be heading.

 

Hope this helps xx Good luck