April72 Posted July 7, 2011 Share Posted July 7, 2011 I have an issue with retroactive jealousy. Lucky me. I know that continuing to ask questions or talk about it will just feed the thoughts and fuel the problem. So I have decided to just deal with it on my own and act like nothings wrong when I am with him or talking to him. But it is driving me nuts.... here I am with this knot in my gut and these thoughts in my head and he's happy as ever. He's not losing sleep. I'm the one up in the middle of the night reliving his group sex experiences from years ago and trying to figure out how to file them in my mind so that I don't care. To which he cannot figure out why on earth it even bothers me esp. since it was so long ago. ggggrrrr.... I just want to point out to him daily how much of a struggle it is. How it's still on my mind. How upsetting it still is. How I still wish he hadn't told me (even though he has apologized over and over for telling me). I'm so tired of wanting to hurt him so he can feel how much I hurt. Anyways guess I just wanted to vent. Any thoughts or comments will be appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
dng Posted July 7, 2011 Share Posted July 7, 2011 Anyways guess I just wanted to vent. Any thoughts or comments will be appreciated. Consider the fact that you may not be jaleous but ENVIOUS and its not the same. Perhaps you would have liked to be in his life when this happened and be a participant in it. Take a good look inside and figure out if you want to set up a similar experience for you and him and live a happy life! Link to post Share on other sites
Author April72 Posted July 7, 2011 Author Share Posted July 7, 2011 I do think there is a level of envy in my jealousy.... but it's because he's done it and I haven't. I feel like unless I leave the realtionship I never can. He is unwilling to do that with me. Says he never wants to relive that part of his life. If I do it without him I'm cheating and he said he can not tolerate it. SSSSOOOOO..... since 20 yrs ago he spent his early adult life whoring around... and I got married and had kids and didn't.... I don't know the answer. He's a wonderful man and for 1 1/2 we have been super happy and then to much disclosure in a conversation and I'm questioning everything and driving myself nuts. Link to post Share on other sites
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