He Loves Me/He Loves Me Not

[indija]

This is one of those where you kind of have to be there to understand the back-and-forth heave-ho of the common, everyday could-my-friend-like-me equation. Goin’ on six months of this question, with no answers in sight. I guess I COULD just forget it and move on, but it’s kind of putting a cramp in my style cuz we have so much fun:

 

He loves me—he gives me presents every time he sees me.

 

He loves me not—he says he loves giving presents (like to anyone, I guess).

 

He loves me—he tells me things he doesn’t tell other people.

 

He loves me not—he tells me about other girls who want him.

 

He loves me—we stay up all night laughing and talking and being happy together.

 

He loves me not—he hardly ever calls or texts (like only once or twice a week).

 

He loves me—he says I’m one of the few people he can be himself with.

 

He loves me not—he says he doesn’t want anything with anybody.

 

He loves me—after crazy nights we cuddle and talk in bed and fall asleep to romantic music.

 

He loves me not—he doesn’t make any moves on me.

 

He loves me—he tried to kiss me once.

 

He loves me not—I kind of reacted in a bad way (oops).

 

I don’t make any moves on him cuz I don’t want to feel like I’m pushing him, or pushing myself on him, or embarrassing him, or embarrassing myself, or whatever..I don’t want to make him do anything he doesn’t want to.

 

There has been evidence on both parts regarding the possibility of there being a physical attraction (I personally have observed that all the parts are working, in other words), but I’m thinking that since it’s been so long like this, are we just over-thinking the whole thing? How can we get over this hurdle, if, in fact, there is something worth jumping about?

[davesoprano]

Where to begin. You yourself, do you even know what you want from this relationship? If you figure out that you DO indeed have feelings for him, then confront him about it and get him to open up to you about his own feelings as well and see where that goes. All this "he loves me/ loves me not" assumption is exactly what it is, an assumption, and assumptions will only mislead you. But if you confront him, at least then you would know for certain and be able to save yourself all this stressful anticipation. Or not, you can just continue this trend of friends with benefits or whatever you call your relationship with him but obviously its more than that or you wouldn't have brought up the subject on a public board but oh well. You can also cut him off if things get unbearably confusing for you. In other words, do what you feel is best.

[MikeyBe]

I don’t make any moves on him cuz I don’t want to feel like I’m pushing him, or pushing myself on him, or embarrassing him, or embarrassing myself, or whatever..I don’t want to make him do anything he doesn’t want to.

Try doing something you want to do.

 

Good luck.

[indija]

“You yourself, do you even know what you WANT from this relationship?”

 

Good point. The truth is, I’m not really sure what I would want from ANY relationship. This has just been evolving into something where everything (which so far hasn’t included “benefits” by the way, lol) feels very easy and relaxed and fun and nice and all that crap, and it does feel different, in a kind of scary way.

 

I guess maybe that’s what I would want from a relationship. To have that feeling of love and acceptance and connection and compenetration, AND the “benefits,” would be very cool.

 

“Try doing something you WANT to do.”

 

I may have to do just that! Except I’m fearful of losing the sweet and simple part of the relationship and have no idea what it would mean if we DID “like” each other as more than friends. So, does the risk outweigh the reward or vice versa? Lol, I guess it does boil down to what I WANT. Thanks for the viewpoints, gentlemen, here’s to sucking it up and seeing what’s on the table...scary!!