Chanelbelle Posted April 22, 2004 Share Posted April 22, 2004 Some men do leave thier wives, and some don't. It all depends on individual circumstances. I am currently involved with a married man for about 5 monthes and have put pressure on him to either leave her or me from the beginning. He has never promised me that he was going to leave his wife, he has said there is a chance, but he has encouraged me while stay with him to develop my career/love life/ ETC just in case nothing works out. I have never had sex with him and ABSOLUTLY won't til he leaves his wife. My man is currently seeking couseling from a therepist, to decide what he wants to do. He has a lot of personal things that he needs to work out. So I am giving him the time he needs and supporting him in what he needs to do. Link to post Share on other sites
Debster Posted April 22, 2004 Share Posted April 22, 2004 If you believe that just because you haven't slept with him you are giving him the time he needs and supporting him. If you really want to give him time to figure out what is best for him - you would back up completely. Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted April 22, 2004 Share Posted April 22, 2004 Some people leave their marriage. Some don't. It depends on what they decide to do. It is their decision. Putting pressure on someone to leave generally means forcing them to make a choice. Saying "I want you to leave your wife" is not pressure. Saying "Leave your wife so we can have an open relationship. If you don't then we stop all contact with each other. If I'm still available when you are divorced, then we can talk" is pressure, but only if you follow through with it. If you want to help him, get out of his life as he goes through therapy. he has said there is a chance, but he has encouraged me while stay with him to develop my career/love life/ ETC just in case nothing works out. Awe, there's a chance he will leave his wife (is that a carrot dangling there?) isn't that nice. Meanwhile he wants you to stay in his life for your own good? Bull manure. Link to post Share on other sites
CurlyIam Posted April 22, 2004 Share Posted April 22, 2004 Your not sleeping with him doesn't mean he's less cheating on his wife. He's a cheater alright, just like you're the OW. Like it or not. Sorry, your situation ain't that special. Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmaXOXO Posted April 22, 2004 Share Posted April 22, 2004 My man is currently seeking couseling from a therepist, to decide what he wants to do. He has a lot of personal things that he needs to work out. So I am giving him the time he needs and supporting him in what he needs to do. Unfortunately, he's not "your man." He's married to someone else and has basically told you to go on with your life because he is unable to make any promises to you while he is committed to his marriage and wife. BOTH of you ladies have gotten a raw deal. He's damaged goods. Why not take his advice and make a better life for yourself?. . .Spend more time pursuing healthy, well adjusted relationship partners rather than “supporting” this loser through his mid-life crisis and little life dramas. So where's YOUR support system?? Link to post Share on other sites
Girlie Posted April 22, 2004 Share Posted April 22, 2004 I'm in agreement with Enigma...he's not your man. That's nice for him that he's in counseling, but perhaps he could have done that before he started cheating. Look, I'll put aside that fact that he's married for just a moment. If he can't decided whether or not he loves you enough to leave ANYONE, whether it be a wife or girlfriend or whatever, why are you still there? Link to post Share on other sites
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