sagirl1891 Posted July 8, 2011 Share Posted July 8, 2011 Please help... I am having constant panic/crying attacks. Short story: we dated on/off for 2.2 years, I broke it off almost a year ago. Now he's dating someone new. I am not dating. He was heartbroken originally, now I am feeling extreme loss and heartbreak. There is no hope for reconciliation. I feel like a failure. I have called up appointments for therapy next week. It could not come soon enough. I am unemployed and have almost no money. I have done almost everything I should - go out with friends, give myself love and attention/do what I want to do. I'm dying here, I know this is dramatic, but can someone please give me some hope? Link to post Share on other sites
shortee143 Posted July 8, 2011 Share Posted July 8, 2011 Deep breath! Getting all panicky wont help! I know that feeling- I still get it when I think of him being with his new girl, and me on my own without him. I love him with all my heart, but he has changed a lot over the last few months, and his post breakup behavior was terrible, so I'm stuck in that place where I love him, but I am so hurt and angry. I see him often- and it is gut wrenching to see him and not be with him...but at the end of the day, I know it wont kill me..just like this wont kill you A year is quite awhile for you to still be making yourself miserable! We all cope differently, at different rates, and under different circumstances. I think going to therapy is a great option for yourself. Get it out, work thru it, have that unbiased opinion to help you. Plus being unemployed- you have too much time to think. I have only had 2 breakups where my heart was crushed, and this current one I am going thru is worse than last. However I know I will survive! Take it day by day- but you need to start realizing as best you can that you two are not together, and accept it for what it is, so that you don't keep putting yourself thru this. No one knows the future- but what you can tell yourself is that you love life is not over. You will get past this (all of us on LS will). It is devastating, and can be the most painful thing to experience...and it takes time. But you need to start making moves for YOU, so you aren't like this for another year. keep your chin up, you'll come out on the other end of this! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
KathyM Posted July 8, 2011 Share Posted July 8, 2011 Please help... I am having constant panic/crying attacks. Short story: we dated on/off for 2.2 years, I broke it off almost a year ago. Now he's dating someone new. I am not dating. He was heartbroken originally, now I am feeling extreme loss and heartbreak. There is no hope for reconciliation. I feel like a failure. I have called up appointments for therapy next week. It could not come soon enough. I am unemployed and have almost no money. I have done almost everything I should - go out with friends, give myself love and attention/do what I want to do. I'm dying here, I know this is dramatic, but can someone please give me some hope? Your life will get better. Hang in there. You are not a failure, you are just going through a rough time right now, but you will get through it. Can you call a parent or friend and ask for a temporary loan if you are at risk of not being able to pay for food or rent? Hopefully, you are getting unemployment compensation. Just keep working on your goals. Finding a job. Developing your social life. Doing something rewarding for yourself or for others. I would also suggest volunteering your time to a good cause. It will make you feel good, as well as help others. Link to post Share on other sites
nikkinicole36 Posted July 8, 2011 Share Posted July 8, 2011 I am going through this exact same thing and it has been over a year for me too. My ex has been with his new girlfriend since 3 months after our breakup. What I'm understanding is that this crying and grief is no longer even about the relationship. It's about the deep underlying abandonment/old wounds that the breakup has woken up. It's now become an opportunity for me to do some much needed deep healing within myself. I have a really bad childhood with a lot of trama and abondoment, which my breakup has awoken. I'm reading a really good book called The Journey from Abondonment to Healing by Susan Anderson which is helping me a lot to make sense of exactly what I'm dealing with. It's good you are in counseling, because you are truly going to need it to get through this rough phase. I knew something was wrong when even after the 6 month mark things just wasn't getting better. It's a long process as these breakups can really snatch off some scabs from really painful old stuff. Link to post Share on other sites
replicator Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 There is no easy way out. 3 years out, and I still think of her. I know I can do better. Although she was unloyal to me, when I am with other girls, I still feel like I am betraying myself. The heart sometimes has a mind of its own, and you can't will it to let go. I think only time can heal the wounds, so just let it do its thing. In the meantime, focus on yourself as much as possible. Link to post Share on other sites
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