linwood Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 Blueeyes11, I've fallen out of love with H.I feel dead And empty inside. Sex has become Impossible, I get extremely angry rt after. This is not me. He threatens to send me to India and keep my children away from me if I ever leave him. Last night I tried telling him that I don't feel love for him anymore, he slapped me and grabbed my hands. I didn't call cops, his career would be ruined..but I can't love him any more. Are you in the US? If so the law is on your side. He can attempt and even succeed in making your life miserable to a point but in the long run the woman has the upper hand in divorce/custody proceedings in this country. He can`t "send" you or your children anywhere. You should really speak with a lawyer, I`m sure you`ll be amazed at how much power you possess in this situation. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Alice8122 Posted July 12, 2011 Author Share Posted July 12, 2011 I have appointment with my counselor tomorrow. I'll tell her everything.this morning I made copies of all bank statements,property papers, taxes and my green card,passport etc just in case.last night during the fight he told me to get out of his house since' I don't love him'. Im going to give these photocopies to my g friend.This is when I've told him nothing about OM.. Link to post Share on other sites
SeaBreeze100 Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 Be careful Alice8122 - be very careful. Take your children's passports into your keeping. Are you an American citizen? Then you have the law on your side. If I had a dollar for every arranged marriage that has gone wrong in my time, I'd be a very rich woman. And I disagree with GG2W - it is possible to meet your soulmate while married to someone else. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Alice8122 Posted July 13, 2011 Author Share Posted July 13, 2011 I have a American green card without conditions.I also filled application for citizenship today and mailed it. Once they start processing it, H can't stop it even with divorce proceeding. That aside, I'll file for divorce end of august. Link to post Share on other sites
SeaBreeze100 Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 Life is too short for a miserable existence. I will probably file for divorce in November. We should have a divorce party together. Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 Life is too short for a miserable existence. I will probably file for divorce in November. We should have a divorce party together. Will you be divorcing your Canadian husband or your South Asian husband? So confusing when people make **** up on here. Link to post Share on other sites
Afishwithabike Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 Why are you taking this so personally? I didn't say anything about you or your marriage. I don't see anything offensive in what I wrote. For the record, I'm very familiar with arranged marriages and I know several people who are currently in one. Link to post Share on other sites
KathyM Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 Thank you all for the answers. I understand I'm in affair fog.we started marriage counseling last week after big fight which lasted 3 days. After 2 sessions with my H, MC wants to see me alone for next few sessions. I told her and my H that I'm putting forward only 40% of what I think. I also talked to my H that I don't love him anymore in a spousal way. He wants to have sex every day now, which has made my life a living he'll. Haven't seen or talked to OM for a week. I miss him so much. My H understands everything about the situation, he knows I had an affair but has no proof of it only suspicion. He doesn't want to let go out of spite. He clearly told me, he is not going to share me or divorce me. If I divorce him, he will make my life hell. I get attracted to only white men, how can I change what turns me on? How is it possible that someone is repulsed by their own race? Doesn't make sense to me. I can see being attracted to other races, but repulsed by your own race? Talk to the counselor about how to get your sexual relationship with your husband on track. It sounds like your husband is trying too hard now thinking you'll be fulfilled if he gives you lots of sex, and it's having the opposite effect. Your counselor needs to work carefully on this with you, and if she is any good at sex therapy, she may be able to help you and your husband to develop a satisfying sexual relationship. You may also want to try going to see a sex therapist. Someone that is specifically trained in that aspect of couple therapy. Don't give up hope yet. Link to post Share on other sites
nofool4u Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 I've been married for 5 years and have two children together.We had an arrange marriage and the sex was disastrous right from the beginning. Divorce was out of question due to families involved and children.I was embarrassed to tell my husband about it thinking it would hurt his ego. who says it will hurt his ego? the sex is probably disastrous for him as well. don't that a woman just needs to be wet in order for it to be great for the man. don't think you are all that in bed to think that it was disastrous just because of him Link to post Share on other sites
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