How can a mother hate her child

[mach1]

Hello and thanks for listening to my pain i am a 29 year old male finding it difficult to understand how a mother can hate their own child, being a fairly new father myself i could never treat my son like my mother did to me. I have confided in a really good friend (some what of a brother from another mother) and my girlfriend in this matter and im finding it difficult to make sense of what i had to endure and sometimes i feel bad for putting them through this for i don't expect them to know how to deal with this but i don't know another way of trying to get this hurt and pain out of my system sometimes i feel like im letting my mother win by continuing to let her abuse effect me to this day. let me give u guys a little insight on what i had to endure as far back as i can remember i always was hated by my mother she was a poor excuse for a mom and should have never been able to conceive a child, sounds a little extreme but when a person decides to become a parent and have a family it should be with the intention to provide and guide your child to be all that they can be in life never wanting to see your child in one ounce of pain for their pain becomes your pain as a parent. This leads me back to when i was a little boy maybe as young as 5 years old having to sit on the floor to watch tv cause i wasn't good enough to sit on the couch or the fact that i couldn't be thirsty five minutes after i just drank some water i mean now going on 30 years old i can't make any sense of her logic why even have me if that's how you were going to treat me its not like i was asking for some expensive water imported from another country it was ****ing tap water from the faucet what a cunt my anger for her as hit an all time high cause as i get older i cant make sense of the hatred she had for me being the second oldest of four kids 2 brothers and 1 sister i cant recall her treating them as bad as i was treated i could recall nights where i would wake up in the middle of the night to try and steal some of her goodies like (chocolate candy) she hid in the freezer cause i wasn't allowed to have any i mean what kid doesn't like candy and she would always seem to wake up and foil my plan of being a kid and enjoying some candy, beatings where severe for i would hide under the bed and the only way she could get to me was with the broom stick trashing from side to side with no care of where she was hitting me for when she did catch up to me i would have to fight with this walrus yea she was big i can recall her chocking me while my feet were not even touching the ground i used to think i could be a WWF wrestler when i got older having survived her beatings Andre The Giant didn't look so tough or how about when she did decide to feed me she would jam a metal spoon in my mouth like i was a wild animal if she could only feel the pain that spoon caused maybe she would have stopped as faith would have it by the age of 10 I would burn our bathroom down almost burning the whole building down from this action I was sent to work with my dad everyday never having to deal with this monster my house became sort of a hotel were i showered and slept ending the abuse.

[Woggle]

I know this pain all too well. I can write a book withthe abuse my mother inflicted on me. The only thing to do is cut her off and take solace in the fact that she is a miserable person who is in her own prison.

[mach1]

This is so true she is no longer in my life or my sons life i figured it would be best this way, she shows no remorse for her actions nor has she ever tried to sit me down and explain to me why she was such a horrible mom to me, so she doesn't deserve me or my family to be a part of her life.

[Woggle]

This is so true she is no longer in my life or my sons life i figured it would be best this way, she shows no remorse for her actions nor has she ever tried to sit me down and explain to me why she was such a horrible mom to me, so she doesn't deserve me or my family to be a part of her life.

 

My mom is the same way. She even considers my ex who shot at me to be like a daughter to her and says she feels more maternal towards her than she ever did for me. Nice lady.