Those sneaky old feelings

[SerenaG]

It's been over for almost a year and I've been fine for months but we've been talking more lately since we've been assigned to a project together at work. We're both very professional so working together hasn't been much of a problem. But today after the meeting he started chatting about his weekend and vacation plans and I felt a knife go through me. I know we aren't a match and I don't want to get back together so it was so surprising how affected I was. I managed to keep a cheery attitude until he left but I'm still here moping about it. You really can't let your guard down, those old feeling can come rushing up on you when you least expect it. I totally respect the NC guidelines, I'm sure I'd be so much better off if that were possible. I love my job so will have to deal with these episodes but appreciate having this board to come back to when I need a booster shot.

[thelovingkind]

I know the feeling too, long after you've moved on from intensive grieving a trigger kicks in, your stomach churns and it's like some frisky bottled-up emotion just broke out of the holding pen. But good stuff... Sounds like your head is still in the right place, just had one of those moments of weakness. NC is great if you can do it but it's definitely a "luxury" and not a necessity, for all sorts of people (co-workers, people with deeply intwined friendship or social networks, people with kids together, etc.) it's not possible, and people in all these situations do manage to move on. The key to moving on is not NC, it's just wanting to move on. As soon as the self-determination is there to break through it, nothing can stop you.

[shortee143]

I know the feeling too, long after you've moved on from intensive grieving a trigger kicks in, your stomach churns and it's like some frisky bottled-up emotion just broke out of the holding pen. But good stuff... Sounds like your head is still in the right place, just had one of those moments of weakness. NC is great if you can do it but it's definitely a "luxury" and not a necessity, for all sorts of people (co-workers, people with deeply intwined friendship or social networks, people with kids together, etc.) it's not possible, and people in all these situations do manage to move on. The key to moving on is not NC, it's just wanting to move on. As soon as the self-determination is there to break through it, nothing can stop you.

 

first off, thelovingkind, I love your posts! That are always so well said and on point with everything for me!

 

And ah that gut feeling, even after time passes, at the end of the day, it is still an ex. My ex ex, who broke my heart but am very much over, I think I'd still get that "feeling" if I sat and had some long talk about him and his life etc. An ex will always have that title, there will always be a past of some shared connection, and we can fall out of life, or damned just hate our exes, but at the end of the day they still hold that ex title and all that memories that go with it. I am not in NC with my most recent ex due to mutual friends, it it def a different (tough) moving on process!