bigmomma1974 Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 :confused:Not sure this is the proper place for this but I am going to give it a shot. I think I just want to vent more then anything but I have a million questions running through my mind and it confuses the hell out of me. I am a married woman and I love my husband with all my heart and soul. I truelly do, I dont want to be wit another man but I am confused about what to do. I am on ssdi and money is extremly tight, hubby has been laid off work since december, he had a job offer but couldn't pass his peestest. This really made me angry and resentful. For 1 he lied to me, and 2 he has his priorotes messed up. Now he is currently working through a temp service and just got offered full time, again another drug test, one he isnt sure he can pass. i wont lie I am ok with him smoking pot here and there but not while he is looking for a permant Job. I am hurt cause he lied to me, I am hurt because the trust is gone, I am hurt cause I find it disrepectful to me. We been together 6 yrs married 2 and I am so confused, stay or leave. I know we need to talk but right now i am to angry. He knows I am working on my issues of not trusting him and he understands but damn it, I am tired of struggling. I don't mean to sound greedy or rude but seriously Jobs now days are hard to find, Why screw your chances up for a little pot. grrrrrrrrrr Thank for reading my vent. I appreciate it Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 What is his perspective about the situation? Is he trying to stop using mj, but failing? Or is he denying that his mj use is a problem? Try to get him to open up about how he feels, and what he wants to do about the situation. If he doesn't want a job badly enough to quit using his pot, that will be good information for you to know, and you can make choices for your own life accordingly. OTOH, if he is using to cope with the stress of job loss, there may be a lot of avenues the two of you can explore together to support him in quitting the pot and getting back on track. Keep in mind, though, that actions speak louder than words. He needs to do more than make promises to have different results! He needs to not only want to do things differently, but also take concrete steps in a different direction. He knows I am working on my issues of not trusting him Trust is earned, and he is not acting in a trustworthy manner. He needs to earn back your trust. Your mistrust is appropriate at this point. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bigmomma1974 Posted July 10, 2011 Author Share Posted July 10, 2011 he smokes to relieve stress. we have talked about finding different ways to deal with this. Hopefully we can get through this,. He knows he needs a job and he does try, but he said its so hard for him to say No when people ask him if he wants to smoke. He over came a drinking problem so I do think he can over come this as well,. It is just frustrating right now because I know he has a problem with it and im struggling so much to pay all the bills. Thanks for the input its much appreciated and helps to have others opinions. Link to post Share on other sites
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