bsweet00 Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 So about 3 weeks ago, I went out to a friend's birthday party at a bar, and met a guy. We had a great time dancing and drinking together and we ended up going back to his place for the night. Needless to say, we hooked up all the way. This was a first time for me. I had never had sex with a guy outside a relationship before. I had made out with a guy before while not dating him, but this was different. I've only had two boyfriends in my life, both who were long term relationships, so to me, this was a whole new experience. Just as a side note: He is 28 and I am 22. The next morning, we talked for a bit, exchanged phone #'s and I went home. He said he'd like to hang out again, so I agreed. About two days later he was texting me already. He wanted to know if I was going out that night, what my plans were for the weekend, etc. I got the feeling that maybe he wanted to hook up again...and at first I said "Why not? This is all new to me, so why not enjoy it?" So that weekend I went to his house, watched a movie, had a few drinks, and hooked up with him again. The next several days the same thing happened. He'd text me, I'd reply, we'd meet up, "hang out" then do it all over again. Except last time he came over to my place instead. He's always been really nice to me and would actually cuddle up next to me during the night and in the morning before he'd leave. I started thinking if maybe there was a chance he could like me more and would want something more than just hooking up. We've hooked up 3 times now. I'm just not sure what to think. We talk about stuff we have in common but he never really tries to get to actually KNOW me. He hasn't even asked what my last name is. I'm trying to keep an open mind, and to actually enjoy the experience, but I have a feeling he's been just wanting to hit it and quit it from the get go. I don't necessarily want a relationship out of this, but I kind of feel used now. I guess it's my fault too. I shouldn't be letting it happen...I just thought maybe since he was older he would actually take things more seriously. So should I just cut all communication with this guy? Or should I ask him where he stands, tell him how I feel? Or would that just freak him out? Link to post Share on other sites
linwood Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 S So should I just cut all communication with this guy? Or should I ask him where he stands, tell him how I feel? Or would that just freak him out? You like him, he likes you. You don`t want to be a FWB so that should be over. I don`t see why you`d cut n run without talking to him about how you feel. He may feel similar, what have you lost by talking to him? You should at least see where he stands. Link to post Share on other sites
SpiralOut Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 He hasn't ever taken you out to a public place, besides the night you met him (which doesn't count). That to me screams "**** buddy." Telling him how you feel can produce one of two effects a) He freaks out and doesn't want to see you again OR b) He sees this as a way of manipulating you into continuing to see him there's a possibility he feels the same way but I doubt it. Link to post Share on other sites
Mossimo Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 At least your getting some my guy bailed at the last min if you read my post... Don't know it could be a hook up no relationship be upfront with him ask him about it... That's what my guy and I were we were upfront with each other now I am not sure what is going on either. Link to post Share on other sites
Forever Learning Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 He hasn't ever taken you out to a public place, besides the night you met him (which doesn't count). That to me screams "**** buddy." Telling him how you feel can produce one of two effects a) He freaks out and doesn't want to see you again OR b) He sees this as a way of manipulating you into continuing to see him there's a possibility he feels the same way but I doubt it. this is good advice. I have seen this happen. if he wanted to start a relationship with you, he would indicate as much, start wanting to get to really know you, etc etc. and yes, he would ask your last name. read again part "B" above. "He sees this as a way of manipulating you into continuing to see him". WATCH OUT FOR THIS. Remember, liars know no bounds. They will LIE LIE LIE and string you on for weeks Months (YEARS in some cases) just use you for sex then dump you cold. Follow your gut feeling, your heart, and keep asking questions around here to learn more as you move forward. Actions speak louder than words, the liars are alot of talk and no real 'boyfriend' action. See if he wants you to meet his friends, family, etc etc. extra good luck to you!! thank God for the internet huh? back when I was your age I had to learn these things on my own the hard way! Link to post Share on other sites
SincereOnlineGuy Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 So about 3 weeks ago, I went out to a friend's birthday party at a bar, and met a guy. We had a great time dancing and drinking together and we ended up going back to his place for the night. Needless to say, we hooked up all the way. This was a first time for me. I had never had sex with a guy outside a relationship before. I had made out with a guy before while not dating him, but this was different. I've only had two boyfriends in my life, both who were long term relationships, so to me, this was a whole new experience. Just as a side note: He is 28 and I am 22. The next morning, we talked for a bit, exchanged phone #'s and I went home. He said he'd like to hang out again, so I agreed. About two days later he was texting me already. He wanted to know if I was going out that night, what my plans were for the weekend, etc. I got the feeling that maybe he wanted to hook up again...and at first I said "Why not? This is all new to me, so why not enjoy it?" So that weekend I went to his house, watched a movie, had a few drinks, and hooked up with him again. The next several days the same thing happened. He'd text me, I'd reply, we'd meet up, "hang out" then do it all over again. Except last time he came over to my place instead. He's always been really nice to me and would actually cuddle up next to me during the night and in the morning before he'd leave. I started thinking if maybe there was a chance he could like me more and would want something more than just hooking up. We've hooked up 3 times now. I'm just not sure what to think. We talk about stuff we have in common but he never really tries to get to actually KNOW me. He hasn't even asked what my last name is. I'm trying to keep an open mind, and to actually enjoy the experience, but I have a feeling he's been just wanting to hit it and quit it from the get go. I don't necessarily want a relationship out of this, but I kind of feel used now. I guess it's my fault too. I shouldn't be letting it happen...I just thought maybe since he was older he would actually take things more seriously. So should I just cut all communication with this guy? Or should I ask him where he stands, tell him how I feel? Or would that just freak him out? Firstly, this is how single GUYS would behave if supply and demand gave them such options. It only makes sense that some women experiment with their options if only to find out that they clearly want something more. In the most ideal of circumstances you would tell him how you feel, no matter how that is, and he would then honestly tell you how he feels, both about you and about what you said as far as your own feelings. Most people just don't have the boldness for that, especially when starting from where you are right NOW. We here don't understand enough about how much you might be enjoying his company in the present to understand what you "should" do from here on out. It really is OK if you are enjoying things as they are, and would like to continue that at the very least. Link to post Share on other sites
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