When do you start talking about love?

[Pam]

How do you know after you've been involved with someone when it's safe to talk about love without scaring the person?

 

If you've gone to bed with them a few times does that automatically open up the possibility of talking about love or not? Who usually brings up the topic first? Men or woman?

 

How can I know if I am only somebody's ####buddy or if I really mean something?

[Tony T]

If you are the type of person that falls in love really fast, you better cool your jets.

 

But a good rule of thumb is to express your feelings when you feel them. If a reasonable amount of time has passed since you started seeing this guy but you feel sort of shy about expressing your love, you can say something like..."You know, I really think I could fall in love with you." Then see how he reacts. Or you could say, "I'm starting to feel pretty strongly about you...how are you feeling about us?"

 

It's important to express your feelings because if you're with someone who's not on the same page, who may be with you for the fun and adventure and not for love and long term, it's better that you find out when your feelings begin to intensify rather than when you are too deep to get out.

 

The topic can be brought up by either party, whoever is feeling the feeling...and whoever has the courage to do so. Going to bed really has nothing to do with it, as far as a man is concerned. For most young men, sex is a sport and not all that much related to love...at least not at first. So don't go by the sex thing regarding the man. Now, ladies equate sex and love a bit more...so you need to protect yourself from being used sexually.

 

If you are having sex, making out, doing all the romantic things, you are certainly not buddies. However, if the sex is more of an automatic thing and not accompanied by any of the other normal romantic things, you could be buddies. Best way to tell is to ask.

 

Real love evolves and grows over time. Pay attention and go with your gut. If you are with someone and you can't tell that they are in love with you, they probably aren't.

[Nina]

Well, the fact that you're asking means that it might not be a good idea right now. Youshould talk about love when you feel comfortable talking about it. If you're questioning whether you're a f***buddy or not, then talking about love is out of the question. You simply cannot love someone if you don't have a comfortable, up-front relationship. TALK to your partner.

 

Sleeping with someone does not automatically pave the way. Sex is a physical interaction.

 

I dropped hints to my fiance when we first discussed love. I talked about how I really respected him and his opinions and how I really cared about him. By then we had been together a while and it was very easy, during those late-night talking sessions, to bring it up.

 

But be forewarned. All men are frightened by the L-word, no matter how secure or confident they are, or how much they care about you. It's the idea of committement, of having to make promises and be accountable, that scares them. not you.