just a thought

[dumbfounded]

I have been reading several of the posts here on this advice site and can not help but notice how many women or girls on her have problems sleeping with MM there were a couple questions asked on why it was done but no one seemed to want to or have the balls to answer.

 

I am a very open and honest person and must give my opinion! I think the women that decide to sleep with married men are in one of the following two catagories:

 

1) Complete Skanky Sluts who need to learn how to keep their undies up and legs closed.

OR

2) Very niave women who can not see the obvious signs like (no home phone number, can't go to his house, can't be found sometimes, you don't meet many of his friends, family, ect.)

 

I can not believe that no matter what you feel for someone once you find out they have a wife assuming they are with their wives that they would not just walk away.

I know that some women have such low self esteems that they find it extremely necessary to have male attention constantly. I have a friend who is the same way she could have the greatest man in the world who treats her like gold, loves her, gives her basically the world on a silver platter yet she screams at him, hits him, cheats non stop then says it is his fault for not giving her enough attention.

 

I have always been raised to believe that if you love yourself enough someone will love you enough as well. But I find it sad and disturbing that some women need to go out and sleep with so many men then can't understand why men don't respect them or cry and say they are always being used!

 

I'm sorry but I think if you are sleeping with a MM you need to have you brain plucked out and fixed or your legs sealed shut!

 

Even after writing all of this I will still like to hear the answers as to why women find themselves involved with MM who are living with their spouses!

[lostandblurred]

I think this post is a gross simplification of a very complex dynamic and one of moral ambiguity. I think it's derogatory and generally mean. You can disagree with someone's actions without name-calling and ultimatums.

 

I think you're stereotyping, here. I have no knowledge of marriage, cheating, or love triangles. Heck, I probably couldn't tell you which direction the nearest grocery store is. But to say that bar none all women involved with married men are "Complete Skanky Sluts" is not necessary and is inappropriate. You categorize people in very tricky emotional situations into huge assuming columns of complete callousness or complete ignorance.

 

I'm not for cheating. I'm not a pro-cheating lobbyist, or something (A rare breed). I do feel that it is hurtful, like most other people. But I think I can understand that most women don't run out and look for married men to fool around with; that there are complex emotions and situations involved that I cannot and should not presume to understand on a universal level. Sure, it's usually not the objectively right thing to do, considering the commitment the husband has made. But I'm not going to pretend it's easy to say, "No, sorry, I'm going to shut off my feelings here" -- sometimes the moral compass and the heart conflict.

 

And speaking of the husband, you don't seem to lay much blame on him. Shouldn't he be held accountable, too?

 

Anyway. I have no experience in this, really. But I don't like it when there is such a blanket statement made filled with so much needless hatred. I understand you may have been hurt by this type of thing in the past or that this may just conflict strongly with your ethical mindset, but I think the type of broad and assaulting stance you're taking here is un-called for.

[candied]

Both of you sound harsh. I think women should have respect for themselves know the man better before jumping into the bed with them but the man has the most blame he and he alone is making the choice to look outside his marriage for pleasure instead of trying to work out whatever the problem is inside the relationship.

 

I was cheated on before and though I knew the relationship wasn't the best I feel he should have been honest enough not to have to cheat he should have told me he wasn't happy, as for her well she didn't know about me so I couldn't blame her for anything though it was hard because she was an enemy. I too slept with a MM I knew him for awhile went to his house and never once saw a sign of Her. Turns out she was off with another man having a baby who she had no idea of who the father was but all that is pointless I just think neither of you are right.

 

Every situation is different but I do think if a woman knows what that the man has another woman she gets whatever she deserves in the end and same goes for the man involved!