claudia Posted April 22, 2004 Share Posted April 22, 2004 hey everyone i really need some sense knocked into me right now .I'm so mad at myself right now and i feel so stupid for this feeling. My current ex and i were in a LDR and he broke it off saying that he was ( mentally sick) and could not cope with the distance even thought i was making plans to come to his country .I understood his point and sadly try to put our relationship in my past ,he said the magic words of wanting my friendship blah blah and stupidly i accepted . So this happened in September 2003 and we are trying to be friends its hard to be with him, cause we mainly use msn and sometimes he just ignores me and sometimes he messages me . I know i should delete him and initate no contact but i can't seem to do it . He says he enjoys my friendship . I try the no contact thing but always seems to end up in contact with him Well today i playing around with this site he created and i saw some girl leaving messages in his guestbook (pretty retard) but i got really sad and jealous and now i feel anger (i just wish this to be over where i feel nothing for him) . On one hand i feel happy for him if he meets new girls but on the other i feel bad cause i wish it was me. Now i'm feeling down and i guess he is probly happy not even studying me i just need some advice on leaving this behind me sorry if i wasted anyone time with my babbling but i really needed to get it out Link to post Share on other sites
krbshappy71 Posted April 23, 2004 Share Posted April 23, 2004 My advice: create a new profile on MSN. That way he can't unexpectedly pop up messages to you. His messages are keeping you on the line with him. You need a clean break. If you could do the friendship thing, that would be fine, but it sounds to me like you can't. That doesn't mean there is a weakness in you, or immaturity. It means that you still have hope for him and he's made it pretty clear it isn't mutual. You are not keeping a friendship, you are keeping a hope that is hurting you. Please give yourself some time away from contact with him. I suggest chatting for awhile, not with the intent of starting anything serious, but just to get some attention from other men, a distraction from your current feelings. My two cents. Link to post Share on other sites
befuddled11 Posted April 23, 2004 Share Posted April 23, 2004 Long distance relationships certainly aren't for everyone. Some people don't realize how hard it is until they're in one.....and have to contend with the loneliness, not being able to see their significant other on a regular 'face to face' basis, etc. For a lot of people, just chatting on the computer and talking the phone isn't enough to meet their needs. It sounds like this was the case for your ex. At least he was honest with you. Many people aren't given the truth about how their S.O. feels..and come to find out the hard way, when they learn their partner is seeing other people behind their back, etc. Be thankful he was man enough to be honest. He obviously thinks a lot about you, as he wanted to maintain the friendship. Had you 2 ever met in person? If not (I didn't gather from your post that you 2 had), sorry to say it but I don't think it was truly a "real relationship." You can't have a real healthy, normal, stable relationship if you've never even met the person "in person"..and spent quality time with them......REALLY getting to know them. It's easy to type nice things on a keyboard, and say nice things on a phone......but to really know your true feelings for someone, you have to spend time with them in the flesh. It's been 7 months now. Delete him from your MSN list, if you're not able to "get over him"........or else just accept the fact that you're not in a relationship and he has every right to be contacted by other girls, and even date them if he chooses to. If being friends with him is too hard and you're not able to get on with your life, then maybe you should take a break from being friends until you're healed. Link to post Share on other sites
Author claudia Posted April 23, 2004 Author Share Posted April 23, 2004 thanks for your reply krbshappy71 i understand that i have to make a clean break and slowly i'm doing that . I really need to get away from the whole situation for a while . But i really thought i was doing good by just being a "regular " friend to him but its just tonite when i saw the girl message to him i kinda got hurt by it , it really made me feel like i'm being replaced ,that feeling hit me the most . Maybe i'm a glutton for this pain and i think its time to stop but i'm lost as to how . thanks for your two cents Link to post Share on other sites
DiorAddict Posted April 23, 2004 Share Posted April 23, 2004 I've been in that situation, but I was very "EXTRA" with it. I blocked his e-mail address and when he e-mailed me under a different address, I deleted that e-mail account and got a new one. I changed my cell phone number and even moved! HA! For what?! lol I ended up e-mailing him from my new e-mail address and calling him from my new cell phone number. I even told him my new address!!! We got back together, but I went through all that drama for nothing. I would say that if he's still contacting you, getting back with you is in the back of his mind. If he stops harrassing you, then I would be worried. I'm actually in that situation right now, and guess what, with the SAME GUY! Link to post Share on other sites
Author claudia Posted April 23, 2004 Author Share Posted April 23, 2004 It funny when we talk to each other cause he acts normal towards me and me to him . I never bring up us or what was us . Our chats are as normal as can be .Maybe i want to be his friend in the end but at this time it seems like i should let him go and be happy if he gets someone that will be there for him but its so hard . thanks to everyone so far with there advice but if u or anyone have any thing else to share keep the advice coming Link to post Share on other sites
DiorAddict Posted April 23, 2004 Share Posted April 23, 2004 You guys SOOOOO want each other! There's just one problem, you both are subconciously turned on by the chase and the "unattainable" aspects of this "game". It's fun, but you can't play it forever. I say it's just a matter of time before you're back together. If you're talking and having good "how ya doin'" convos, then all is well. I wouldn't even put too much emotional strain on myself over this. I mean, if he didn't lilke u, he wouldn't bother talking to you at all, and I KNOW FROM EXPERIENCE! So, good luck with the waiting game. And once everything falls back in place, kick this game to the curb! Link to post Share on other sites
Author claudia Posted April 23, 2004 Author Share Posted April 23, 2004 Actually befuddle we did meet in person .Don't get me wrong i'm thankful that he said his feelings to me and i would be happy for him if other girl contact but i just feel like i'm losing him as my friend or maybe just the hope . when the break up happened he said that he had me close to him and now i was gone and he got lonely ,but i got lonely too .Oh well you are rigth he was honest Link to post Share on other sites
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