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Something trivial that gnaws away...


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My birthday came and went and I have found a beautiful confidence within myself to satisfy my ambitions and dreams in life.

 

Anyway...on my birthday, at work, I received a call which I (in hindsight) realised was my ex's friend...maybe seeing to see if I still work here. It was 'sorry, wrong number...' About ten minutes later I received a blind call and there was just dead air. My workplace is very stressful and I just was admitingly being a smart ass...and I said something like, 'You know this is a telephone, I speak, someone has to talk too...' and I just hung up. I'm pretty sure it was my ex. And I know she was probably being sincere in just wishing me a happy birthday. I hope I didn't come across as too rude....funny how these things gnaw away within me. I have no intention of getting back with her...(that's not the case...I have moved on in spirit...if that makes sense...I have alot to accomplish in my life as I have discovered...I owe it to myself to do the things I must do in life)... Do I still love this girl? Yes. But I know that I must leave it be.... My problem is...I hope she didn't think me a hyper active smart ass fruitloop. My excuse, ofcourse, is that there was no number up on my phone etc. Anyway, I guess I'm just talking on the shack as such a trivial matter tends to make me think. I care deeply for this girl...but, with time and three or so months of painful and chaotic discovery, I have found that I must keep the rudder true in terms of my aspirations. I am tied to her now with some of the warmest memories I have and they make me smile.

 

I hope this makes sense.

 

Thanks anyway for listening...

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sportsloving

Your reply to dead air was terrific~ if she doesn't get your sense of humor then perhaps it is best she didn't say a word anyways. If she was wishing you a happy birthday, she should have bitten the bullet and said hi ... dead air is aggrevating even in the best of circumstances.

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