Why do so many young women flake? How do you respond?

[U1987]

How did you meet this girl? Is there any chance for a possible run-in again with her? This is going to be a back and forth banter unless you message me in private. But it's up to you.

 

I don't mind.

 

No, there's no chance for a possible run in with her; we met randomly and talked over a band at a bar last weekend. Chances of crossing paths again seem pretty slim, especially since she said she doesn't hang out at that place usually.

 

So what can I use as the "carrot on a stick" in this situation? How do I make her see she's got something to lose by not explaining why she flaked and by not making it up to me?

[thatone]

A lot of guys can relate to your frustrations. Flaking is part of the game!

 

The 2000s saw a dramatic acceleration in the growth of female-centric communications technology - namely, the explosion of texting, social networking, and online dating.

 

All the growth in technology has had a negative effect on the dating scene for men. Simply, girls today have too many distractions and too many options. When was the last time you saw an attractive young woman traveling alone without iPod earpods, or peering down at her smartphone, or without a cell phone glued to her ear?

 

There was a time when “getting a number” actually meant something. You’d call her home and she’d pick up, you’d have an actual phone conversation, and you’d set up a date. Seems like something from the Jurassic period, but the older guys here will attest to this.

 

Now it’s 2011. How many threads have we read here where a guy seemingly has a great interaction with a girl in a bar and gets the number, only to have the girl screen out his call or ignore his texts the next day? “Flaking” as a verb didn’t exist in the 90s or earlier – flakes were something that came with dandruff.

 

It’s funny to read guys in here still crowing about getting numbers. Fellas, numbers means nothing. Girls today give out their number like candy on Halloween. How many of those numbers are translating to dates?

 

Now guys will come on here and say that it’s all a numbers game – that you need to talk to 100 girls and get 20 numbers, play these little text games, and maybe get 3 dates out of it. Who has time for that? I have other demands on my time – I work, I study, I work out, volunteer, have hobbies, and spend time with family and friends. Far better to invest in one quality interaction with one quality girl that I’ll be assured of eventually dating.

 

Of course, none of this was epidemic before the late 00s because the technology didn’t exist.

 

Dating 1.0 is dead. It’s time for Dating 2.0 – game in the smartphone era. And men must adapt!

 

 

 

blah blah blah blah blah

 

men adapt by writing off those women. men need to adapt alright, adapt back to being men. as stated above, stop putting up with bullsh*t from women and put them in their place when they step out of line.

 

there are few woman problems that being more aggressive when she's willing and playing on her fear of rejection when she isn't can't cure.

 

you go to v2.0, i'm at v0.1, because v0.1 works.

Edited July 11, 2011 by thatone

[U1987]

men adapt by writing off those women. men need to adapt alright, adapt back to being men. as stated above, stop putting up with bullsh*t from women and put them in their place when they step out of line.

 

Like I said, HOW?

[Shaun-Dro]

I don't mind.

 

No, there's no chance for a possible run in with her; we met randomly and talked over a band at a bar last weekend. Chances of crossing paths again seem pretty slim, especially since she said she doesn't hang out at that place usually.

 

So what can I use as the "carrot on a stick" in this situation? How do I make her see she's got something to lose by not explaining why she flaked and by not making it up to me?

 

Okay, I think you're taking these dames too seriously. You can't do a flake proof shield on them. There's no such thing. Believe it or not, men flake on women as well, but not as often.

 

Since you met this girl at a band, you probably won't see her again so it be wise to drop her. Just forget her. Now it's time to move on.

 

Before I give you advice on how to proceed with the next object of your desire, please give me a rough draft of the types of conversations you try to have with these girls, including the last one. This gives me a depiction of your personality toward these women.

[Eddie Edirol]

All I want to know is, how do you flake-proof a girl in from the get-go? How can you make it so that she WON'T flake? How do you get her into a position where flaking is not an option for her to do?

 

Yeah you did everything wrong.

 

You cant MAKE her do anything. You can give her an opportunity to be with the spectacular you. if she doesnt want it, you move on to the next. Women only want men that dont NEED them. You keep showing them you need them but nagging them with text...and yes, it is nagging when they dont want to hear from you, no matter how infrequent it is.

 

When you text them, and they dont text back, its over, nothing you say will change their minds. Move on to the next. Nothing is flake proof. You would have to be SOOO interesting that a girl HAS to get to know you immediately. but thats a whole other can of worms.

[Chicago_Guy]

Because they can get away with it. There will always some sucker willing to kiss their butt.

 

I agree. And this is also why women in their late 30s don't pull this type of stuff - they know they can't get away with it.

 

Many young guys will tolerate this type of crappy behavior because they don't realize that they don't have to put up with it. It must be a rude awakening when those type of women behave that way to a guy they really like and are then shocked when the guy decides he no longer wants to date them.

[Shaun-Dro]

I agree. And this is also why women in their late 30s don't pull this type of stuff - they know they can't get away with it.

 

Many young guys will tolerate this type of crappy behavior because they don't realize that they don't have to put up with it. It must be a rude awakening when those type of women behave that way to a guy they really like and are then shocked when the guy decides he no longer wants to date them.

 

Exactly, the older the woman gets, the lesser chance she will flake since she doens't have the physical weapons to attract as many men as she did in her younger days. Once she finds a guy that's into her, she will do what needs to be done to keep him. One of the reasons why many young guys go "older" but she's got to look young and not the Old Maid get-up.

[U1987]

Before I give you advice on how to proceed with the next object of your desire, please give me a rough draft of the types of conversations you try to have with these girls, including the last one. This gives me a depiction of your personality toward these women.

 

I only remembered bits and pieces. The band was some sort of courtyish-folksy rock band. A friend of mine plays in it.

 

I was standing with my drink and noticed a girl bobbing her head with her friend within my vicinity.

 

Me: They're pretty talented.

Her: Yeah, seriously.

Me: Yeah. You know, I never listen to country. I never search it out on the radio, but when it's live, it's totally different.

Her: Yeah, I know what you mean! I never listen to it by choice, but when you hear it in person it's amazing.

Me: Definitely. You musical at all?

Her: Yeah, I actually used to play cello.

Me: Really? Did you ever perform?

Her: Oh, just in a high school band.

Me: Have you ever played since then?

Her: No. It's just sitting around, collecting dust.

Me: Aww. Well, it makes nice furniture atleast.

Her: Haha yeah, what about you?

Me: I actually play bass guitar.

Her: Really?

Me: Yeah. I actually used to play with that guy up their until our other band mates moved away.

 

Fast forward, we're outside smoking.

 

Her: There're a lot of police out. I drove by so many cop cars.

Me: Seriously. It's City 17, watch out for the Combine.

She started cracking up.

Her: Oh my God! I actually know what you're talking about!

Me: I've never met a girl who knew what I meant whenever I said that.

 

It was a reference to the video game Half Life 2; much of the game is escaping and fighting your way through this totalitarian police state called City 17. The police, called "The Combine" are everywhere in the game trying to kill you.

 

Fast forward, we're inside.

 

Her: I'm past my curfew.

Me: Curfew?! How old are you?

Her: 21.

Me: Quick! When were you born!"

Her: 1990.

Me: Wow. And you still have curfew? Does your mom and dad still ground you too? (she starts laughing) Seriously, what the hell did you do that you're an adult and you still have curfew? Did you steal your dad's car and wreck it in Mexico or something?

 

Those are the bits and pieces that stand out. The whole night we met just sort of blends together.

[Chicago_Guy]

Seriously, you wanna know? Okay, I'll tell you. This is from a guy who was once in the same boat as you, almost, but the frustration of today's girls, not women, but refer to them as girls, because they need to grow the hell up, has made me stronger.

 

Buddy, you need to turn pit-bull on them. I'm not kidding. Just drop that old nice guy habit you have and not let these walking pieces of ass get away with this crap they're pulling on you.

 

You have no idea what a nice guy I was used to be a long, long time ago. I finally turned myself around (against women's wishes of course) and just became darker, meaner, and will straighten out a woman in a hearbeat. I will go after her so fast it's scary if she ever tries to disrespect me. I think they know this now, so they're pretty sweet to me on all instances lol.

 

I don't advise you to be mean to every girl in sight. That makes no sense. You treat people the way you wanna be treated. But when these women you're supposed to date pull these flake jobs on you, crucify them for it.

 

They'll be stunned and even scared for a little bit if you show your edge, but it'll reward you in the end. Remember, you can accomplish this without insulting her, but basically tell her where she can take a crap next time.

 

I speak from experience because I have a hot babe hanging on my coat tails right now since last month, and though it's still early, she never pulls a flake job on me, because she knows better, and I'm anything but nice to her.

 

Sure, I might throw her some friendly crumbs here and there to keep her wanting more of it, but never lose your masculinity. This is what society is sorely missing these days: the men to become "real" men again. I wish you luck.

 

You are correct. I personally hate it when women try to pull that crap with me and I have had to tell them that their behavior was unacceptable. The crazy thing is that some women seem to respect a man even more after he calls them out on their bad behavior. Some women are so self-centered that they really don't even seem to realize how annoying their flaky behavior is to men.

[U1987]

Yeah you did everything wrong.

 

You cant MAKE her do anything. You can give her an opportunity to be with the spectacular you. if she doesnt want it, you move on to the next.

 

I don't want them to just walk away after flaking thinking nothing of what they did. I want them to know that it's wrong to flake. How do you make her regret flaking on you?

[Shaun-Dro]

I only remembered bits and pieces. The band was some sort of courtyish-folksy rock band. A friend of mine plays in it.

 

I was standing with my drink and noticed a girl bobbing her head with her friend within my vicinity.

 

Me: They're pretty talented.

Her: Yeah, seriously.

Me: Yeah. You know, I never listen to country. I never search it out on the radio, but when it's live, it's totally different.

Her: Yeah, I know what you mean! I never listen to it by choice, but when you hear it in person it's amazing.

Me: Definitely. You musical at all?

Her: Yeah, I actually used to play cello.

Me: Really? Did you ever perform?

Her: Oh, just in a high school band.

Me: Have you ever played since then?

Her: No. It's just sitting around, collecting dust.

Me: Aww. Well, it makes nice furniture atleast.

Her: Haha yeah, what about you?

Me: I actually play bass guitar.

Her: Really?

Me: Yeah. I actually used to play with that guy up their until our other band mates moved away.

 

Fast forward, we're outside smoking.

 

Her: There're a lot of police out. I drove by so many cop cars.

Me: Seriously. It's City 17, watch out for the Combine.

She started cracking up.

Her: Oh my God! I actually know what you're talking about!

Me: I've never met a girl who knew what I meant whenever I said that.

 

It was a reference to the video game Half Life 2; much of the game is escaping and fighting your way through this totalitarian police state called City 17. The police, called "The Combine" are everywhere in the game trying to kill you.

 

Fast forward, we're inside.

 

Her: I'm past my curfew.

Me: Curfew?! How old are you?

Her: 21.

Me: Quick! When were you born!"

Her: 1990.

Me: Wow. And you still have curfew? Does your mom and dad still ground you too? (she starts laughing) Seriously, what the hell did you do that you're an adult and you still have curfew? Did you steal your dad's car and wreck it in Mexico or something?

 

Those are the bits and pieces that stand out. The whole night we met just sort of blends together.

 

Your conversation with her was fine. If it sucked ass, trust me, I would be all over you in a second. The problem is, if you've done this approach with many other girls, you're failing because you haven't notched up what we call the "attraction signals" to keep them seriously interested.

 

What I mean by that is you're a nice guy who knows how to hold a good conversation with people. The women you meet pick up on that, but the problem lies in that you come off as just a "friend" and these girls pull the flake card on you to demote your status to them.

 

Do this kind of approach with a girl you're not interested in. When you see another girl you wanna talk to, start off with what you just did, but then quickly turn it around into a hypnotic give-and-take with intense eyes on her at every curve. Let your eyes do the talking. Let them roam from her mouth to her breasts and below. Don't worry about offending her, because she won't be. Chances are, she'll start playing with her shirt now because she knows you're looking. She might even pull her jacket over her breasts for a moment, but keep looking. It lets her know you're unphased.

 

After you do that, let her talk for another moment, and then walk away. Don't ask for her number or ask for a date. Just leave her standing there. See if she puts in some effort to run into you again. That'll be your cue. If she does, and probably will because she's curious, you can throw her the line of something like, "Didn't you give me your number? There's so many things going on, what was it again? 646, etc."

 

It doesn't have to be tit-for-tat but should be in a similar fashion. The key thing is when you joke with her, don't laugh with her. Trust me on this. Let her laugh alone. She'll be seriously wondering about your humor. And women love to wonder.

[delilah123]

I find this thread v interesting. If I flake on a guy it's because I wasn't that interested in the first place but felt awkward saying no intially.

 

Him getting annoyed at me doesn't make me wish I went, just makes me pleased I didn't go. Or feel even more awkward and less likley to ever want to talk to him again.

 

I find this so strange.. I mean if you like a guy you go, if you don't like him and your a silly enough person to agree in the first place, you don't go. Him being rude/polite/indifferent isn't goin to change your feelings about him is it.

[kalikula]

I find this thread v interesting. If I flake on a guy it's because I wasn't that interested in the first place but felt awkward saying no intially.

 

Him getting annoyed at me doesn't make me wish I went, just makes me pleased I didn't go. Or feel even more awkward and less likley to ever want to talk to him again.

 

I find this so strange.. I mean if you like a guy you go, if you don't like him and your a silly enough person to agree in the first place, you don't go. Him being rude/polite/indifferent isn't goin to change your feelings about him is it.

 

Yep... I have to agree with that. If I ever flake on a guy it's probably because I wasn't really interested to begin with, just had a hard time saying no.

 

You can't MAKE a girl regret flaking on you. Sorry. She's probably just saving you an uncomfortable date.

 

If I am really interested in a guy I will definitely not be flaky. But in 99% of those cases he's probably someone I KNOW or someone I think is incredibly interesting and attractive (physically and mentally). I'm not really comfortable going on dates with complete strangers in most cases. Anyway, let's not pretend like this is all girls, it's a two way street.

[Queen Zenobia]

Yep... I have to agree with that. If I ever flake on a guy it's probably because I wasn't really interested to begin with, just had a hard time saying no.

 

You can't MAKE a girl regret flaking on you. Sorry. She's probably just saving you an uncomfortable date.

 

If I am really interested in a guy I will definitely not be flaky. But in 99% of those cases he's probably someone I KNOW or someone I think is incredibly interesting and attractive (physically and mentally). I'm not really comfortable going on dates with complete strangers in most cases. Anyway, let's not pretend like this is all girls, it's a two way street.

 

Right. How about if you agree to a date you either go or cancel ahead of time (like I don't know at least a day...even 12 hours before)?

 

But I guess that makes too much sense...

[Eddie Edirol]

Yep... I have to agree with that. If I ever flake on a guy it's probably because I wasn't really interested to begin with, just had a hard time saying no.

 

When youre mature enough, no one should be too afraid to say no to someone their not interested in.

 

I don't want them to just walk away after flaking thinking nothing of what they did. I want them to know that it's wrong to flake. How do you make her regret flaking on you?

 

You cant, when they flaked on you its because they didnt want to go out with you, meaning there was no interest whatsoever, so they would only regret continued communication with you. Them flaking on you is a relief.

They might regret it if they see you with a prettier girl all over you. If they go up to you at that point to say hi you can snub them then.

 

But youre focusing on the wrong thing here. Youre putting too much energy into the flaking revenge when you should be focusing on how to better your game so you can have less flaking.

[rafallus]

How do you make her regret flaking on you?

You get together with another girl and make her as happy as you can.

[Imajerk17]

As a woman I find this behavior absolutely irresponsible. I was taught (by perhaps "old fashioned" parents) that when you make an appointment you show up, unless there's some sort of major emergency (like someone had a heart attack, or a baby) and even then you give the other party as advanced notice as reasonably possible.

 

I'm in that 18-25 age range so I don't make excuses for immaturity or any other lame excuse. This kind of thing makes women look bad and reflects badly on those of us who do honor commitment and responsibility.

 

I don't what to tell you except to keep moving along, eventually you'll find a girl who doesn't flake.

 

Awesome! It is so cool and so refreshing to hear a young woman talk like that.

Edited July 11, 2011 by Imajerk17

[Imajerk17]

I only remembered bits and pieces. The band was some sort of courtyish-folksy rock band. A friend of mine plays in it.

 

I was standing with my drink and noticed a girl bobbing her head with her friend within my vicinity.

 

Me: They're pretty talented.

Her: Yeah, seriously.

Me: Yeah. You know, I never listen to country. I never search it out on the radio, but when it's live, it's totally different.

Her: Yeah, I know what you mean! I never listen to it by choice, but when you hear it in person it's amazing.

Me: Definitely. You musical at all?

Her: Yeah, I actually used to play cello.

Me: Really? Did you ever perform?

Her: Oh, just in a high school band.

Me: Have you ever played since then?

Her: No. It's just sitting around, collecting dust.

Me: Aww. Well, it makes nice furniture atleast.

Her: Haha yeah, what about you?

Me: I actually play bass guitar.

Her: Really?

Me: Yeah. I actually used to play with that guy up their until our other band mates moved away.

 

Fast forward, we're outside smoking.

 

Her: There're a lot of police out. I drove by so many cop cars.

Me: Seriously. It's City 17, watch out for the Combine.

She started cracking up.

Her: Oh my God! I actually know what you're talking about!

Me: I've never met a girl who knew what I meant whenever I said that.

 

It was a reference to the video game Half Life 2; much of the game is escaping and fighting your way through this totalitarian police state called City 17. The police, called "The Combine" are everywhere in the game trying to kill you.

 

Fast forward, we're inside.

 

Her: I'm past my curfew.

Me: Curfew?! How old are you?

Her: 21.

Me: Quick! When were you born!"

Her: 1990.

Me: Wow. And you still have curfew? Does your mom and dad still ground you too? (she starts laughing) Seriously, what the hell did you do that you're an adult and you still have curfew? Did you steal your dad's car and wreck it in Mexico or something?

 

Those are the bits and pieces that stand out. The whole night we met just sort of blends together.

 

I agree w/ what Shaun-Dro said, but I am wondering if you made a move on her. Did you put your arm around her? Hold her hand? Kiss her? (Don't make out though, you don't want to be labeled as Bar-Makeout-Guy.)

 

Those aren't flake-proof methods by any means. It sounds that you and she actually had a very good conversation. But if all you did was talk...

 

It's also your demographic that goes beyond age. Girls who are 21, 22, 23 and who smoke (an extremely unhealthful habit to pick up but she is doing it anyway) tend to be less mature. I'm positive there are exceptions, but I would say this is the rule. I mean, why the hell would someone be spending all that money on a habit that is so bad for you? Plus she lives at home... Who knows what the hell else came up.

 

You're in a band dude, don't you guys have women hanging around you all the time? I'm sure you can meet someone else.

Edited July 11, 2011 by Imajerk17

[Mme. Chaucer]

What do I have to do to prevent this from happening again?

 

The only way you can prevent it from happening again is to give up on dating, unfortunately.

 

If someone flakes on you, it speaks about THEM. They happen to be a flake. You can't change them; now you've learned that they are flakey, and it's time to move on.

 

In your particular situation, OP, I believe I've responded in a few of your past threads and that this basically happens in 100% of your dating efforts. If this is the case, then it's probably time to take an honest look at how you may be coming off to the women you approach.

[Mme. Chaucer]

I don't want them to just walk away after flaking thinking nothing of what they did. I want them to know that it's wrong to flake. How do you make her regret flaking on you?

 

How many times must you hear this: YOU CANNOT MAKE PEOPLE DO ANYTHING.

 

Especially people you don't know, who could not possibly care less about you or what you think of them.

 

If you need to tell her off for flaking on you, maybe that is something that will benefit you in some way - but it is NOT going to "MAKE" her regret, or anything else. More than likely, it will make her think you are a stalkerish creeper and be happy that she flaked on you. (I do agree, for the record, that flaking is "bad," though the girl who told you she could not go out was not "flaking." She decided that she DID NOT WANT to go out with you, and she made up an excuse.)

[Mme. Chaucer]

 

 

Buddy, you need to turn pit-bull on them. I'm not kidding. Just drop that old nice guy habit you have and not let these walking pieces of ass get away with this crap they're pulling on you.

 

 

 

 

 

Just a note: taking any advice at all regarding women from a man who hates and fears women like this would be a bad idea.

[Dust]

A lot of guys can relate to your frustrations. Flaking is part of the game!

 

The 2000s saw a dramatic acceleration in the growth of female-centric communications technology - namely, the explosion of texting, social networking, and online dating.

 

All the growth in technology has had a negative effect on the dating scene for men. Simply, girls today have too many distractions and too many options. When was the last time you saw an attractive young woman traveling alone without iPod earpods, or peering down at her smartphone, or without a cell phone glued to her ear?

 

There was a time when “getting a number” actually meant something. You’d call her home and she’d pick up, you’d have an actual phone conversation, and you’d set up a date. Seems like something from the Jurassic period, but the older guys here will attest to this.

 

Now it’s 2011. How many threads have we read here where a guy seemingly has a great interaction with a girl in a bar and gets the number, only to have the girl screen out his call or ignore his texts the next day? “Flaking” as a verb didn’t exist in the 90s or earlier – flakes were something that came with dandruff.

 

It’s funny to read guys in here still crowing about getting numbers. Fellas, numbers means nothing. Girls today give out their number like candy on Halloween. How many of those numbers are translating to dates?

 

Now guys will come on here and say that it’s all a numbers game – that you need to talk to 100 girls and get 20 numbers, play these little text games, and maybe get 3 dates out of it. Who has time for that? I have other demands on my time – I work, I study, I work out, volunteer, have hobbies, and spend time with family and friends. Far better to invest in one quality interaction with one quality girl that I’ll be assured of eventually dating.

 

Of course, none of this was epidemic before the late 00s because the technology didn’t exist.

 

Dating 1.0 is dead. It’s time for Dating 2.0 – game in the smartphone era. And men must adapt!

 

 

 

I really enjoyed reading your post. I really enjoyed the term “female centric-technologies” because that is exactly what online dating, social networking sites, and txting are. I mean men see some joy in use but really they give every advantage to women overall. I’m interested did you kind of make that term up or did you read it somewhere?

 

Bottom line men should ask women out in person and rely on txt/phone/internet communication as little as possible. We need to play to our strengths.

 

Stop online dating.

 

This goes for all men.

 

As a woman I find this behavior absolutely irresponsible. I was taught (by perhaps "old fashioned" parents) that when you make an appointment you show up, unless there's some sort of major emergency (like someone had a heart attack, or a baby) and even then you give the other party as advanced notice as reasonably possible.

 

I'm in that 18-25 age range so I don't make excuses for immaturity or any other lame excuse. This kind of thing makes women look bad and reflects badly on those of us who do honor commitment and responsibility.

 

I don't what to tell you except to keep moving along, eventually you'll find a girl who doesn't flake.

 

 

He needs to just stop feeling sorry for himself. Not get jaded by this, and realize plenty of girls don’t act like this.

 

I recommend you not be offended by the fact some girls are like this. Guys do a lot of offensive things to and I really don’t let it get me down. I know how I am.

 

Because they can get away with it. There will always some sucker willing to kiss their butt.

 

 

I think the fact he even cares starts to make him that sucker. If some one is disrespectful early on it’s good riddance.

 

Weird. Maybe it's you, not them. You might have seem threatening or creepy and they were afraid to reject you to your face.

 

 

And for the second story: Why didn't you call (not text) her before you got into your car and make sure the date is still on? Before you had expenses and time wasted? Seems like reasonable precautions for a first date...

 

I don’t think he should blame himself. Even if he is some threatening freak of a person some girl would find that cute, and when she agreed on a date that would be only more reason to show up. You don’t mess with scary men. Really I think he just shouldn’t take it so personal. It reflects poorly on the person and not him.

 

As for being stood up. He should usually try to pick up his dates. If you are meeting your date some where you should call to confirm an hour before you plan to leave. It’s awkward to do this with some one new for fear of seeming needy. The thing is this is something I would do with any one I was meeting. I call my family just to let them know I’m about to start the drive over for example. It’s just common sense.

 

She seemed really sweet and sincere when we first met; she didn't strike me as the flighty type.

 

Eitherway, what does a guy have to do to prevent this from happening?

 

Would a woman be turned off if a guy told her after he asked her out "Just don't flake on me last minute. If you can't make it, tell me far in advance."

 

 

I think you risk coming off traumatized by saying stuff like “don’t flake on me.” You’re best bet is to just realize it might happen with a new person. If that’s the worst thing that happens with a new person just be happy. Also when some one does start to disrespect you in anyway like flaking feel free to walk away and lose interest.

 

That is why I don't bother doing cold approaches.

 

I can not think of a reason why a girl would want to go on a date with a total stranger.

 

Besides the obvious reason, I can't see why a guy would want to either.

 

Granted I haven't dated a lot, but I've never had a girl flake on me. I've always made sure to have plenty of rapport and talked to the girl a few times before I asked her out.

 

Asking out random girls I just met seems like an exercise in frustration.

 

Every hot sexy gf I ever had was a total stranger before we started dating. Never dated the girl I some how knew for weeks, months, years or what ever. Knowing some one as a friend is nothing like getting to know them as a lover.

 

The only way you can prevent it from happening again is to give up on dating, unfortunately.

 

If someone flakes on you, it speaks about THEM. They happen to be a flake. You can't change them; now you've learned that they are flakey, and it's time to move on.

 

In your particular situation, OP, I believe I've responded in a few of your past threads and that this basically happens in 100% of your dating efforts. If this is the case, then it's probably time to take an honest look at how you may be coming off to the women you approach.

 

I think he would have to give up dating to avoid things like flaking of new people. I mean when you’re getting to know some one new this is the least of what can go wrong.

 

I don’t think he should question himself other then why this bothers him so much.

[Ruby Slippers]

I have a pretty good friend who is flaky. It's the #1 thing I don't like about her.

 

When she flakes on me, I don't contact her to hang out the next time. Eventually, she asks me to hang out again, and we do. If she gets into a pattern of flaking (more than once in a row), I call her on it, and say I don't like to repeatedly make plans that fall through, as it's a waste of my time. She always straightens up when I call her on it.

 

If I were a guy who set up a date with someone and she flaked, I wouldn't contact her again AT ALL. I see it basically as putting your balls right on the table in front of her -- you treated me disrespectfully, and I am coming back for more. If she doesn't contact you, you know she's not interested, and you can stop wasting your time.

 

If men didn't put up with this so easily, women would stop doing it.

[stillafool]

Because they can get away with it. There will always some sucker willing to kiss their butt.

 

This is it exactly! Young girls (especially goodlooking ones) have soooo many options and "girls just want to have fun". Sometimes they may find it more fun to go out with their gfs and fool around meeting more guys. So you will either have to lower your standards or not expect much if you want to date those girls. If I were you I would just meet them at a bar or club and not try to spend your hard earned money on them.

[SoleMate]

First of all, consider whether it is reasonable to expect certain behavior standards from someone who is a complete stranger to you. You don't even know her middle name, you've never spoken to her parents, you don't know her standards of how to interact or whether she feels she owes the absolute highest good faith and fair dealing to strange men she meets in bars.

 

Secondly, to reduce flaking, make sure to confirm the date on the day you are expecting to meet. Let her know in advance that you'll do this and that you need to be able to reach her just in case there are any glitches. If you can't confirm with her on Tues afternoon for a Tues evening date, I would assume it's not happening and I leave her a message so saying.

 

Thirdly, "telling women off" and "making her regret flaking on you" are not behaviors that will enhance your chances or attractiveness. On the contrary, it will make you look like the jerk, not her. True regret is something that will grow naturally when it is deserved.

 

You're just getting way more emotionally dependent on these strange women than your knowledge of them warrants. Turn the situation around and perhaps you can see how repellent it may seem to others.