He said he wanted us to make a promise 2 eachother! He hasnt called me since!!

[26thAquarius]

I was dating a man in the United States Marine Corps.(Hoorah!) He is stationed on the West Coast and I live on the East Coast. We hardly saw eachother, but the times we spent together were great. We spoke on the phone as often as we could and if not, we would at least leave a voicemail or email just to say "hi, I love you."

 

He is deploying in July for six months.

 

Five weeks ago, he asked me to do the 'promise thing'. We were to see eachother two more times before he left to 'float'. Four weeks ago, he left for a three week training out in the southwest. I knew that for those three weeks I was not going to be able to talk to him. But before he left, we spoke for a long time on the phone, we made plans to see eachother when he came back from the training and to pick out our 'promise' rings.

 

That was four weeks ago!! He returned last week. He has avoided my phone calls, he has not responded to my emails, and when I send him an instant message, he loggs off. I don't understand what happened. I have gone through my head dozens of times of things that I could have done to upset him and I have come up with nothing. Things were fine, or so I thought, the last time we spoke.

 

I dont know what to do. Should I call him until I get in touch with him(not obsessivley though), and ask him for an explanation or should I leave things the way they are and always wonder "why? what happend?" I fell in love with this man, and he said he was in love with me. Should I demand an explanation or deal with the pain and get over it?

 

Thank You in advance for any advice.

[DiorAddict]

I would send him an old fashioned letter through CERTIFIED MAIL, that means there are no exuses. HE WILL GET THE LETTER! =) Calling and IMing are so impersonal....Sometimes people are more responsive to traditional methods. Good luck!

[sportsloving]

If you have emailed him, called, and IMed him, and he isn't responding, then I wouldn't even contact again... he knows you expect to hear from him, he knows you have tried to contact him... it is his turn to give a little.

 

I am sorry that this has happened, and I am willing to bet he is just scared or nervous... but he really has to work through it. I wish you only the best and hope that he contacts you soon!

[Girlie]

I'm so sorry....what a prick, not to mention a coward. I know it's hard to move on with no closure, but that's what I would try to do. Why waste anymore time trying to contact this man who's such a creep that he doesn't even have the decency to break things off if that's what he wants. I know it's probably difficult, but you are really better off if this is the kind of person he is. Move on with your life. You've done your best to try to get this resolved and he's uncooperative. Can't make him talk to you.

[26thAquarius]

Hello to all,

 

Sorry to bore you with my drama, or for that matter, lack thereof. But then again, that is what this web site is all about.

 

Anyhoo, here is the update and I would appreciate any advice, comments, etc.

 

He called me today. I was surprised but I am sure he could not tell by the tone of my voice. I was not rude by any means but I spoke to him in a somewhat monotone voice.(No, I did not sound like the science teacher from "The Wonder Years" ) He asked how I was, I asked how he was blablabla.....I then asked him why he ignored me and didn't return my calls etc. He said that he just wasn't ready and he felt bad but wasn't sure how I would deal with a break-up or less intense relationship.

 

AAAHH!! Excuse me!! He wasn't sure how I would deal with a break-up, so instead he just drops off the face of the earth? Or at least acts like he did? What is wrong with him?(rhetorical question) I am a very honest and down to earth person, or at least I would like to think that I am because I put an effort into being that type of person. He and I were friends before we took things to another level. Or so I thought we were friends. Is it him as a Marine that acts that way? I know A LOT of Marines (26thAquariuMilitary Brat) and for some reason, a large percentage of the ones I know, when things get serious with someone they are dating, treat them just as if they were a matter of fact. Like "yeah, yeah! I'll deal w/ her whenever."

 

Or is it a man thing to be like that.

 

Ok, enough babbling for me. Here is my point/question/dilemma:

 

1. I thought I was over him, not completely, but for the most part.

 

2. When he called I was surprised, but was not "Happy" about it at the moment.(not that I wasn't but I was not jumping for joy)

 

3. Now I am debating where to go with all this.

 

OH! Silly me forgot to add the 'cruxt' of this biscuit.

 

He still wants to be friends and see me on a "platonic" level. At the moment, I thought to myself.. "is this guy for real" But now, hours later....... I find myself wondering "What to do?"

 

Feedback anyone? Thank You In Advance.