What to think if anything

[zx11]

[FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]Don’t even know where to start….[/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]Married 15 year 2 kids 11/15 [/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]Daughter is not mine, Son is….[/sIZE][/FONT]

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[FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]We have had problems for about the past five years and have tried to work through them she says everything is my fault…[/sIZE][/FONT]

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[FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]About 5 years ago she ended up in the hospital she used to pay all of the bills and I never questioned anything… Well when she was in the hospital I went through all of the bills and they were 2-3 months late…. I was really upset about this and talked to her sister about it… She told me that the wife was diagnosed bipolar as a child… Well I confronted her about everything when she got out and also about the diagnosis… She was furious… and after I did some reading on bipolar symptoms I stood back and started thinking about things… Her spending habits are/were out of control if it was on sale or a good deal she bought it no matter what it was, I found this by looking through the closets and looking at receipts… She moved out not long after me confronting her about things….[/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]We took some time and worked things out she came back home and then we got separate accounts and I took over the bills… We also went to marriage counseling… was kind of a joke we only went like 3-4 times and the person felt we did not need to see them again…[/sIZE][/FONT]

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[FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]Well then I had an affair with her friend… I left my phone at home one night when going to spend the night at the doctors... Well she went through all of our texts and texted her all night long… When I walked through the door in the morning she confronted me about it and I admitted it… Couldn’t hide anything anymore…. This is about the time things really started downhill…. I did not contact her ever again… Then a couple of months ago she asked the wife to watch her house while she was out of the country for a month… Things were good she never talked about her, then she came back and the same night just went off after drinking and brought the past up from 4 years ago.[/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]All we would do from week to week was fight and I finally told her if she wanted out to go… I gave her money and she left… She bought a trailer and took her belongings… Again we went to marriage counseling… About this time she also started drinking wine… a lot of wine… When she drinks she will drink a bottle at a time and then the gloves come on and its bad she will get in my face yelling and screaming at me… So we were doing counseling again and it was going pretty good. She started coming back to the house more and more… but she is off every other weekend and that’s when we would fight… So every time the off weekend would come around we would either go out have a good night come home and she would want to fight… Even our kids see it when she drinks she wants to argue…[/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]We go out with friends and they see how she gets… I talked to her other sister and she admitted that alcoholism runs in their family… and she was diagnosed bipolar as a kid…[/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]Well with this 2nd counselor she wanted to start seeing her separately that lasted about 3-4 times and she stopped going because it wasn’t doing anything for her…[/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]I have talked to friends about this and they go to her and tell her that I have been talking behind her back, but I’m not doing it to be back stabbing or to make her mad I’m looking for ideas for help…[/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]So a few months go by and things got pretty bad with the drinking I could not deal with the way she treats me or the kids when she drinks… We spent a whole weekend together one weekend and was great came home on Sunday I went to bed and at 2am she comes upstairs screaming and yelling at me about past things… then runs out of the front door…I go looking for her and she calls me on the phone looking for me… I come back to the house and she is just another person… [/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]Another time we are fighting and she gets in my face yelling and screaming at me so I grab her cell phone and mine and throw them through the wall... This isn’t me this is what she is making me… I’m not violent but she makes me that way….[/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]So I talk her into going to another counselor… We go and she tells me it’s all or nothing no lying no hiding nothing… about the 6th session things were good we both liked to counselor and then he asked me a personal question and I lied to him… Well everything was good until we go home and she went off on me for again lying… I told her there are just things you do not tell people... She left…[/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]I went back to the counselor the next week by myself and told him the truth and he told me that I was fine by what I did and I told him the truth and it would have made no difference anyway…[/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]So she agreed to go by herself to the counselor and it lasted 2 times and she never went back, I recently went back and talked to him about her and he told me that she has issues that she refuses to work through… So she left for over a month and I started talking to other women on Facebook she went through my messages and told me she wants a divorce and filed for one… [/sIZE][/FONT]

[sIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]I know this is one sided but it has been an emotional rollercoaster for me and the kids… [/FONT][/sIZE]

[FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]The other thing I did not hit on is money… When she was staying her at the house I asked her for $800 a month and she would tell me that’s all I want her around for is money and sex… No I just want to try to split the bills… I also started a business without talking to her about it and she was also furious about it. She felt I was hiding it from her I told her no I was going to tell her after I finished doing all of the leg work so I could make sure this is what I wanted to do.[/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]She gave me the divorce papers and I went and talked to a lawyer he said they were fair and I will get child support… When she found this out she was furious… I also do not agree with the scheduling for the kids. She works 3 on 2off every other week so MTFSS one week and the opposite the other. 7pm to 7am… Which to me is not going to work for the kids? I want them all week she can have them on her days off until 8 and them bring them home. And just like her schedule every other weekend...[/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]I am supposed to be served tomorrow and then I am going to have to fight this on my own[/sIZE][/FONT]

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[FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]I do love her and hate the fact that we are throwing away 15 years…[/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]I was and have been no angel but she really hasn’t been either in my eyes…[/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]I tried to get her to go back to the counselor I also tried to get to see someone about Bipolar and that just throws her into a rage… Right after that conversation she texted her two sisters and brother a nasty text about me knowing about her being diagnosed…[/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]My friends 6 months ago thought I was being and idiot until recently they saw her rages.[/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]Sorry for the long rant…[/sIZE][/FONT]

[PegNosePete]

Can you de-junk-ify the post please? It's very hard to read.