Marrying other nationalities? Chances of success

[Anna]

I am in a relationship with a Russian immigrant from the ex-USSR and I am finding it very challenging to overcome some of the differences in mentality. Sometimes he can be very chauvanistic without even realizing it. When I point this out he doesnn't even understand the concept of what I'm telling him. On the other hand, I find he can be far more romantic than any American men I've known.

 

I was just wondering what the odds are of people from different nationalities coming together and making it last. Is it better to be with someone of a similar background as myself, or not? Both my parents come from the same town and they are happily married still. All my brothers and sisters have married locals. I guess I am somehow trying to break the family pattern by getting involved with a completely different type of person, but I do see the challenges this brings. What are your opinions of the marriage success rates between different nationalities.

[Tony T]

The success of marriage between two people of different nationalities and cultures depends, as always, on the people. Many oriental countries, such as Japan, teach women to be submissive and respectful. American men often find them kind, loving, accepting and without great demands and therefore those can work out very well if there is respect both ways.

 

Marriages between those with extremely diverse cultural or religious differents, such as those between Americans and people from India, would probably not fare as well.

 

I think the Russian people, as a whole are very nice, but their customs, beliefs and ways of living generally are incompatible with many other cultures. American men find many Russian women physically attractive but ultimately see many of their personalities as hardened. Russian women are often seen as mostly after a better life in another country rather than seeking to make their mate happy. There are exceptions.

 

I think people can find exceptional mates from other countries as well as perfect nightmares. This question can only be answered by you after you begin a relationship and evaluate it in its totality. Generally, people from a lot of other countries seem to have more respect and consideration for their fellow men and are extremely grateful for opportunities that may be available in the U.S.

 

There are women (and men) in various parts of the world that would give their lives to come to the U.S. They have ads on the Internet offering to marry men three times their age just to enjoy the opportunities available in the U.S. The economies of many countries, such as the Phillipines, are far inferior to the United States. The marriage market between Filipino women and American men is almost a cottage industry. $100 in American currency is a small fortune in that country. Filipino girls as young as 18 are willing to marry American men in their 50s simply to come to America for a better life. And they often make very loving and dedicated wives as well.

 

You have to be careful. Often, those from another country are looking for ways of getting their relatives to America. Marrying someone from America is one of the easier ways of doing so. Marry someone like that and you may end up with a house full of his/her family.

 

As you can see, your question is not an easy one to answer. Just pay attention to the people you are considering as a mate, keep your eyes and ears open, make sure they are sincere and not looking for a gravy train, and let your heart and your intuition be your guide.

[a slavophile]

I just want to warn you about Russian men. They can be the most charming, romantic men on the planet, but alot of them are just looking for a better life. They will do or say anything to get what they want, and once they have you they will not think twice about cheating on you. I'm saying it about all of them, but in my experience this has often been the case. The problem with them is that they do not think of moral behaviour the way we do. They have no concept of right or wrong. Their motto is: I'll do whatever if I can get away with it.

 

Just be careful and don't rush into anything here.