Chitowngirl Posted July 11, 2011 Share Posted July 11, 2011 I have been dating a guy for a month. He went to rehab a few months ago for pain pill addiction, coke, and alcoholism. He went to rehab for 7 days. We drink together, which I think is a little strange since if he was an alcoholic, would he be able to drink 'normally'? I dated an alcoholic who either had to drink nothing or would drink until he puked or passed out, so I have not seen my current boyfriend lose control with alcohol like I've seen alcoholics do in the past. So onto the coke. I have never done coke and don't know much about it. I have a feeling he still uses it though, or maybe I am being paranoid? He told me that he used to do coke a few times a week. So..his weird behavior (or maybe I'm being paranoid, I hope): we will be watching tv, and he will disappear for 10 min. He'll return sniffling like crazy, rubbing his nose, and acting antsy, like shaking his foot back and forth really fast while he's sniffling. I guess him being gone for 10 min and this happening when he did not have the sniffles before is what alerted me. Other times we will be getting ready to go out, and he'll get the sniffles again and rub his nostrils a lot. We went to the movies last night and he JUMPED out of his chair and ran out. I was like, WTF?! He said he just needed a drink of water. I thought maybe he jumped and walked out so fast b/c he didnt want to miss the movie??? Then this morning he woke up immediately and went quickly downstairs. He came back a few min later and said he needed to see if his daughter came home last night. Another concern is his mood swings. He will wake up some days saying he feels horrible, and that I should go home and do some errands, and that we'll see each other again later that night. That is always fine with me since I enjoy being alone for a few hours so I can get a good work out in, etc. But then one-2 hours later he will call or text me in a much more better mood, excited, and completely different than his somber almost hung over mood a few hours before. Could he have just taken a nap? He also doesn't have an appetite. He is never hungry, and I typically eat more than him. He eats like once a day and I have never seen him indulge. He just lost 40 lbs from having pneumonia, and he says he doesn't have an appetite anymore and doesn't eat much because he's afraid to gain back any weight. Maybe that is the truth? Oh, regarding his sniffles, he said he had his sinuses removed 5 years ago due to polips, and that's why he sniffles a lot. I'm not sure if I buy that story, but it could be the truth. AM I BEING PARANOID???????????????? Link to post Share on other sites
Feelin Frisky Posted July 11, 2011 Share Posted July 11, 2011 You're not being paranoid in the least. He's showing signs of using--clear as day. If you aren't all that invested in this guy--or even if you are--you might want to uncomplicate your future by discontinuing with him. He shouldn't even be drinking at this point. I had the coke addiction and I couldn't have alcohol without it triggering me for a few years. It's now been 17 years since I last did coke and it is nothing to "sneeze at" as a compulsion that wants to hang on. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chitowngirl Posted July 11, 2011 Author Share Posted July 11, 2011 You're not being paranoid in the least. He's showing signs of using--clear as day. If you aren't all that invested in this guy--or even if you are--you might want to uncomplicate your future by discontinuing with him. He shouldn't even be drinking at this point. I had the coke addiction and I couldn't have alcohol without it triggering me for a few years. It's now been 17 years since I last did coke and it is nothing to "sneeze at" as a compulsion that wants to hang on. Good luck. So the sniffling and moving his foot fast, is that a sign? Should I assume that whenever he sniffles out of the blue, that he just snorted coke or whatever you do to take it? What are the long term effects of regular coke use? Also, I have never dated a coke user. What does it do to people? If he IS using it around me, it doesnt seem to make him a worse person. Link to post Share on other sites
oldguy Posted July 11, 2011 Share Posted July 11, 2011 I have been dating a guy for a month. He went to rehab a few months ago for pain pill addiction, coke, and alcoholism. He went to rehab for 7 days. We drink together, which I think is a little strange since if he was an alcoholic, would he be able to drink 'normally'? I dated an alcoholic who either had to drink nothing or would drink until he puked or passed out, so I have not seen my current boyfriend lose control with alcohol like I've seen alcoholics do in the past. So onto the coke. I have never done coke and don't know much about it. I have a feeling he still uses it though, or maybe I am being paranoid? He told me that he used to do coke a few times a week. So..his weird behavior (or maybe I'm being paranoid, I hope): we will be watching tv, and he will disappear for 10 min. He'll return sniffling like crazy, rubbing his nose, and acting antsy, like shaking his foot back and forth really fast while he's sniffling. I guess him being gone for 10 min and this happening when he did not have the sniffles before is what alerted me. Other times we will be getting ready to go out, and he'll get the sniffles again and rub his nostrils a lot. We went to the movies last night and he JUMPED out of his chair and ran out. I was like, WTF?! He said he just needed a drink of water. I thought maybe he jumped and walked out so fast b/c he didnt want to miss the movie??? Then this morning he woke up immediately and went quickly downstairs. He came back a few min later and said he needed to see if his daughter came home last night. Another concern is his mood swings. He will wake up some days saying he feels horrible, and that I should go home and do some errands, and that we'll see each other again later that night. That is always fine with me since I enjoy being alone for a few hours so I can get a good work out in, etc. But then one-2 hours later he will call or text me in a much more better mood, excited, and completely different than his somber almost hung over mood a few hours before. Could he have just taken a nap? He also doesn't have an appetite. He is never hungry, and I typically eat more than him. He eats like once a day and I have never seen him indulge. He just lost 40 lbs from having pneumonia, and he says he doesn't have an appetite anymore and doesn't eat much because he's afraid to gain back any weight. Maybe that is the truth? Oh, regarding his sniffles, he said he had his sinuses removed 5 years ago due to polips, and that's why he sniffles a lot. I'm not sure if I buy that story, but it could be the truth. AM I BEING PARANOID???????????????? CHITOWNGIRL!!!! what are you doing!?! this is 2 problems with the same guy that you have only known for a month!?! Seriously!?! Why are you doing this to yourself? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chitowngirl Posted July 11, 2011 Author Share Posted July 11, 2011 CHITOWNGIRL!!!! what are you doing!?! this is 2 problems with the same guy that you have only known for a month!?! Seriously!?! Why are you doing this to yourself? The other issue isn't a big deal. Just wanted thoughts. This is an issue that I dont know if it's really an issue or not! Link to post Share on other sites
Feelin Frisky Posted July 11, 2011 Share Posted July 11, 2011 ... it doesn't seem to make him a worse person. Sure, it doesn't "seem" like it because he's trying to hide it from you. Do you want a liar? That's the deal. Users are liars--they lie to themselves first and everyone else second. Right now it doesn't seem like a consequential lie but stick around--it's bound to get a lot worse. Link to post Share on other sites
oldguy Posted July 11, 2011 Share Posted July 11, 2011 The other issue isn't a big deal. Just wanted thoughts. This is an issue that I dont know if it's really an issue or not! Substance abusers will always be substance abusers even if the decide not to use they will always be abusers. Contact Al-Anon, they will answer all of your questions. Al-Anon is for victims, (family & friends) of substance abusers. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted July 11, 2011 Share Posted July 11, 2011 He's absolutely still using coke. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chitowngirl Posted July 15, 2011 Author Share Posted July 15, 2011 He said he hasn't done Coke in 6 months...then he said he actually preferred to have a line of coke over liquor. He then asked if we went to Mexico, if I'd be against him smoking "golden leaf pot" or something like that, and if I'd try it with him. I've never had anyone ask about drug use while going on vacation, and us going on vacation away from drugs would have really shown me that he wasn't addicted to drugs, unless he went into withdrawal and was miserable the entire trip. Link to post Share on other sites
just_some_guy Posted July 19, 2011 Share Posted July 19, 2011 Run, run, run away. Unless you wish to share more deeply in this sickness than you already are. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chitowngirl Posted August 6, 2011 Author Share Posted August 6, 2011 So you guys were right about him being a compulsive liar. I'm not sure if he still did coke, but he has major issues with alcohol and lying about everything. He eventually left me to get back together with his ex. Link to post Share on other sites
zlatnapolja Posted August 6, 2011 Share Posted August 6, 2011 So you guys were right about him being a compulsive liar. I'm not sure if he still did coke, but he has major issues with alcohol and lying about everything. He eventually left me to get back together with his ex. Good for you! You wrote that your ex also had a substance/alcohol problem, you go for the wrong guys!!! this guy leaving you is a gift from God, its soooo obvious that he still uses drugs. 7 day rehab is never enough if you're addicted to alcohol and coke. Try to find a nice guy next time! good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
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