usdaprime Posted April 23, 2004 Share Posted April 23, 2004 met this woman over a year ago. We sort of became friends and I grew attracted to her and she said she is also attracted to me. Well she was married at the time. She quit work where I knew her from and I talked to her once since then she quit talking to me I assume because I told her friend some stupid stuff. I have never heard from her again that was back in September now 8 months later I get a SMS message on my cellular phone from her friend telling me that her and her husband are seperated. Diane- the woman I like and who is seperated. Julie- Her friend who sends me messages and may like me Ok since I heard that Diane was now single through Julie. I sent Julie a message telling her to tell Diane to come in at my workplace so I can see her. Julie sends back a message that says """ I will try but that does not mean she will come. Why don't you ask her yourself.""" So I waited and for a few days and Diane never came. So I sent a message to Julie asking her what Diane's phone number was. ""I already know her phone number"" Well Julie tells me she can't tell me Diane's number. I then ask why and she says "because Diane does not want to talk to me and that her Julie didn't know that Diane didn't want to talk to me before she sent me that message."" I asked why doesn't Diane want to talk to me and Julie says "" Because Diane does not want to give you false hope""" I said what false hope?? She is single now, and I am being contacted after 8 months of not talking to her to be told that she is single. What did you expect, that I was not going to want to date her after I am being told she is single. I said well is Diane going to give me a chance for us to be together Julie then says NO Diane is not going to give me a chance that she is involved "she meant with her X" So I am thinking what the heck is Julie pulling here!!! I told Julie that I was trying to be friends with Diane and Julie said you never gave Diane a chance to be just friends.... I have a suspicon "sp?" that Julie likes me. so what is going on here and what should I do. Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
26thAquarius Posted April 23, 2004 Share Posted April 23, 2004 Personally, as a female, knowing the games we play, I think Julie is playing games with you. And if she isnt, oh well. Call Diane and get the info straight from 'the horses mouth.' The worst thing she could do is tell you what Julie already informed you of, that she is not interested. GOOD LUCK! Link to post Share on other sites
sadie Posted April 23, 2004 Share Posted April 23, 2004 it all sounds abit immatue on julies part so rise above it. If Diane was interested she'd be contacting you and shes hasn't so forget about her. Julie may like you so decide if thats a good thing and next time she messages you about Diane let her know that you don't want to hear alo the 2nd hand info. Maybe it is an idea to contact diane as a mate and have a chat about what julie is saying just to get the real picture. Link to post Share on other sites
FreeMe Posted April 23, 2004 Share Posted April 23, 2004 This doesn't sound like a game to me at all. It sounds pretty straightforward. 1. Julie thought Diane would want to see you now that she's single. 2. Julie was wrong. Julie probably took it upon herself to tell you about Diane believing that's what Diane would have wanted. But obviously after talking to Diane she found out she was wrong. (It's only been 8 months - must have been a really fast divorce. how can she be over it all already?) 3. Diane doesn't feel you can be just friends because that's not what you really want out of the relationship. 4. Julie may or may not like you. Actually it doesn't sound like she does since she was willing to try to hook you up with Diane. Link to post Share on other sites
deesgirl Posted April 23, 2004 Share Posted April 23, 2004 Diane is healing from a divorce. If she dates anyone now, it would probably be a rebound. It sounds like she cares for you and doesn't want to hurt you. Since she backed off from you while she was married, she sounds like a person that wouldn't cheat. That's a good sign for you. Just try not to think about her too much for now and see if she contacts you after she's had some time to heal. Link to post Share on other sites
Fritz Posted April 23, 2004 Share Posted April 23, 2004 Run away. Run far away from either of them. Link to post Share on other sites
greenlantern Posted April 24, 2004 Share Posted April 24, 2004 if you suspect that julie likes you, it is insensitive to have her as the go-between. think about how you would feel in her position. that said, i think she is playing games, so just get rid of her, even as a friend. figure out a way to address diane directly. Link to post Share on other sites
Author usdaprime Posted April 29, 2004 Author Share Posted April 29, 2004 UPDATE*************************UPDATE**********************************UPDATE************ Can somebody please help me understand what this woman is doing to me? I have never had someone do something to me that was so cruel and hurt so bad. So I hope somebody can help me understand this. My friend saw Julie at work the other day. He asked her what is going on with Diane. Julie told him that she really is seperated from her husband and it was his idea to leave. So my friend asked why did Julie tell me about Diane and her husband splitting up. She said "I don't know I wanted to tell him before Jeannie told him." Now Jeannie is a friend of mine who in no way knows Diane or any of her family so I can see NO way that she would of found out. Julie also told my friend that Diane does not want anything to do with me. And that I will not let go because it is over between us. Julie also told my friend that Diane does not believe that I can be her friend. But he said that he got the feeling that if I convinced her that we could be friends. Now I think what the heck. I will not let go?? I never call her or try to see her. It has been 8 months since I heard from her. Plus I wonder why she does not want anything to do with me. When I did not do anything to her. Makes me wonder since last I seen her she was all smiles and was asking how I was doing. !. Julie tells me that she thought Diane would want to talk to me. Then she tells my friend She told me that before Jeannie could tell me. 2. She tells me Diane does not want to talk to me because she does not want to give me false hope. Then she tells my friend that Diane does not want anything to do with me. Julie told me months ago that Diane has feelings for me. Could they be gone already? Now a few things I thought that made me think this was not a game to mess with my head it. Julie would not tell me that Diane was seperated because that would cause me to want to talk to Diane again. And if Diane did not want to talk to me Julie would not put her friend in that position of hearing from me again. Then I asked julie to tell Diane to come visit me and She said why don't you ask her yourself. So that told me it was ok to make contact with her. But I did not ;-(( So I thought I will give it one last shot of making this better and having Diane as at least a friend again. So I told Julie to tell Diane I honestly want to be friends with her. And to come in so we could go to eat like we use to.And Julie said that Diane's husband moved back in and that she will tell her but she doubts she will come. I told her that I was happy for Diane and the Kid having the father back but I still want to see her and Julie told me that it does not mean Diane will come. Link to post Share on other sites
FreeMe Posted April 29, 2004 Share Posted April 29, 2004 There's too much 3rd and 4th person talking going on here. Sounds like people are trying to create drama and intrigue where there is none. Julie does not sound like she's a good friend, and Diane is obviously going through too much upheaval to be a friend. Get out of the drama loop and find new friends. Who needs that kind of bull in their lives? Maybe Julie does, but you don't and you're the one who's getting hurt. You can do better than these people. Link to post Share on other sites
26thAquarius Posted April 29, 2004 Share Posted April 29, 2004 Like I eluded to in my previous post, games games games. My advice, cut your losses. That includes Julie. She seems to have a gossip hotline going on there. What is the purpose of her adding her $.02 to everything. There are plenty of women in this world that don't have all the drama that seems to come with these two women in particular. Good Luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Author usdaprime Posted May 1, 2004 Author Share Posted May 1, 2004 Ok I need somebody to just tell me what me and 2 other people thought may be happening here. I just want to know what you people think. I have to live with something because this is eating me alive. Its like somebody telling you that you won the Lotto and you are so excited and happy because you always wanted to win then you go to cash the ticket in and they say opps you was 1 number off then you go from excited to depressed!!! 1. Well all agree that there is No way that Julie did not know wether or not Diane wanted to talk to me. 2. There are 3 things that may be happening. A. Diane does want to talk to me but Julie likes me and does not want Diane to have me. Now this maybe because I told Julie to tell Diane to come see me and she said Why don't you ask her yourself. So that made us think that it was OK to call her. Then I asked for Diane's Phone number and Julie then saw her way to stop it By not telling me Diane's Phone Number. Julie and Diane are friends and We would think that if Diane did not want to talk to me then Julie would not put her friend in the position to hear from me. By telling me to ask her myself she would be putting Diane in that position. And she may be telling Diane that I don't want to talk to her B. Diane did wanted to talk to me but has since changed her mind. Mabye because she knew that she was getting somewhere with her husband and knew that she was going to get him back. But Julie says Diane does not believe that I can just be friends with her. She may not want me around Now because she may still have feelings for me and she may be tempted to do something with me. "which I would not let happen as long as she is married.""Because why would she not even accept me being friends with her. C... Julie is totally playing games and Diane never wanted nor does now want to talk to me. Which seems hard to believe because she made that comment why don't you ask her yourself. And she knew telling me Diane is seperated that would cause me to contact Diane and Julie would not put her friend in that position of having to hear from me. So which one sounds more Plausable??? Should I call Diane anyway? I do not want to cross a line if it is true that she does not want to talk to me then I do not want it to come off like I am harassing her. Link to post Share on other sites
befuddled11 Posted May 1, 2004 Share Posted May 1, 2004 It all sounds like junior high games to me. Or at best, a bad soap opera. Life is short. Spare yourself the drama. Stop trying to analyze this all to death. Get on with your life and find yourself a nice woman who is not married, who can speak for herself. Or do you enjoy all this drama? It's crazy and a waste of time. Move on. Link to post Share on other sites
average guy Posted May 2, 2004 Share Posted May 2, 2004 I had a true love once who moved away and some time aletr I saw a mutual friend who had know how much I had loved my girlfriend. Anyway, this mutual friend said that she had seen my girlfriend and that she said she missed me. Sometime later when I saw my girlfriend, I told her I had seen our mutual friend and she said that she hadn't seen her since we seperated! Anyway, my point is I have no idea why our mutual friend said what she did - maybe she thought it would make me feel better, maybe she was trying to get us back together by urging me to call her, maybe she was being evil and prying open and old wound for fun - who knows - I never will. Sometimes people do things for reasons no one can understand... Link to post Share on other sites
Author usdaprime Posted May 2, 2004 Author Share Posted May 2, 2004 Originally posted by befuddled11 It all sounds like junior high games to me. Or at best, a bad soap opera. Life is short. Spare yourself the drama. Stop trying to analyze this all to death. Get on with your life and find yourself a nice woman who is not married, who can speak for herself. Or do you enjoy all this drama? It's crazy and a waste of time. Move on. NO I don't enjoy this Drama AT ALL!! I just wanted someone to tell me what Julie may be doing or if me and the people who know her Theories are right or wrong!! Now I did not want to do this but I guess I have to. I care for Diane I miss having her as at least a friend. If I have a chance with her I want it. I do not get many woman who pay any attention to me. So thats why I am begging for somebody to answer MY questions. Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
Author usdaprime Posted May 2, 2004 Author Share Posted May 2, 2004 Anybody? Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted May 2, 2004 Share Posted May 2, 2004 Oh, for heaven's sakes. Diane must have a last name. Call Directory Assistance and get her number and call her yourself. You said she SMSd you so SMS her back. This stuff sounds like grade school Be a man and do your own communicating and quit waiting for people to play messenger for you. If you can't find Diane's phone number, take out an ad in the paper. While you're at it, take a mindreading course, since you seem to think people should be able to read others' minds and tell you what they think. I suspect that Diane wants nothing to do with you or she would contact you. Link to post Share on other sites
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