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Hello everyone,

I am new on this site and really need help. I have been married for seven years now,with two children ages 5 and 4. My husband is a wonderful family guy. Despite of all his effort to make me happy, i am the most miserable woman on earth. I have everything that could make a woman happy, but i am not. I ve been seeing another guy for five months and i feel totally different when i am with him than when i am with my husband.

With my husband i always feel cold and no desire for sex, i hate when he kisses me, i dont want him to get close to me, and I always have to force myself to be nice to him or sometimes fake organism when we are having sex. I feel horrible about that. But, with this guy, it is totally different. I dont have to force myself for anything, everything comes naturally. I love him deeply.My husband had a vasectomy and recently i was pregnant by the new guy but had to have an abortion in order to continue my so called normal life.I am depressed and had two suicide attempts. I ve been seeing a therapist and i am not suicidal anymore. My husband know about everything that is going on and i told him about my feelings. I am troubled and he still wants me to stay in the marriage even though i explained to him how unhappy I am and that I prefer to have a divorce instead of having to continue to live in lies. All he cares about is his feelings, as long as he is happy and give me everything, i should be happy. He does not want to understand that i cant borrow, buy, or force happiness. THis is something that should come naturally. He does not want to let me go and now i really feel trapped. I am praying God everyday to take me so i can get over this. I dont know what to do. I dont feel like staying in this marriage and i want my husband to get over his obsession with me. Every time we argue he wants to have sex right after to settle everything. I find it ridiculous. I feel trapped, I hate my life. I am still breathing because of my children. I dont know what to do, I just want to be free and happy. And also, I want my husband to realize that he can be happy without me.

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I hate to say this.....but

 

The grass isn't always greener on the other side, IT IS GREENER WHERE YOU WATER IT!

 

Your children, your family, seven years of your life?? A lot to walk away from without even digging deeper and finding the true issues.

 

In my opinion, you will end up in the same position seven years from now with the new guy - remember what you felt like when you first met your husband? You can get that back - I have seen it happen. Sure it takes work, but anything worth having does.

 

If you are dead set on doing this - you will not be the one to convince your husband of anything - especially the fact that he will be fine without you. In his eyes you are tearing his family apart and ripping his heart out -- he will not trust what you say right now.

 

I am not trying to hurt your feelings - I just want to make sure you really think through your decision and the consequences.

 

I wish you the best of luck.

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How would you feel if your husband was doing to you (getting another woman pregnant and putting your health at risk for STD's) what you are doing to him? Is this really a type of role model you want for your children?

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