Adi Posted July 11, 2011 Share Posted July 11, 2011 Hi anyone reading this, the short version is met the girl of my dreams love her more than i ever thought i could love someone, then 4 years in with have a big agument she moves out goes and sleeps with some peolpe we get back toghether things are just not the same so i split up with her this was over a year ago. since then i have dated took hobbies gone to partys made new friends changed my hair lost wight but i miss her so much im still so much in love with her, i checked out her FB the other day she has moved on she looks happy and good. Will i feel like this forever i just dont feel like starting again with anyone new i keep thinking of is this my life now has anyone here though they met the one and that stopped them ever loving again? Link to post Share on other sites
Steven T Posted July 11, 2011 Share Posted July 11, 2011 (edited) She was the love of my life, she was my soul mate, my best friend, now shes nothing, shes gone. To plan your future with the one you love, to give all your might and strength to them, then one day to have it all disappear... Will I find love like that again? I hope so. I hope you do too. Chin up my friend you are not alone. Edited July 11, 2011 by Steven T Link to post Share on other sites
FinOuch Posted July 11, 2011 Share Posted July 11, 2011 (edited) I think you need to start by ceasing to glorify her. The girl of your dreams and the girl who moves out over one argument and starts sleeping around being used in the same sentence is sort of an oxymoron, isn't it? I've been through the fallout of someone I wholeheartedly believed was my soulmate/the one/destined to be...and I truly felt that there would be nothing that ever came between us. I was wrong. He changed, and it ended. And now I look back and realize it wasn't ever what I really led myself to believe it was. So will I ever feel that way about another person? Not likely...because now I understand that it was the naive, fairytale-type belief of love. And I do think that most everyone goes through the disillusionment to that sort of love at some point in their life. But does that mean I will never love again? No. I have - and while it didn't work out (his problem, not mine)...I'm sure I will again. It just takes time. The first step, though, is letting go of that fantasy of perfection. Edited July 11, 2011 by FinOuch Link to post Share on other sites
Steven T Posted July 11, 2011 Share Posted July 11, 2011 I've been through the fallout of someone I wholeheartedly believed was my soulmate/the one/destined to be...and I truly felt that there would be nothing that ever came between us. I was wrong. He changed, and it ended. And now I look back and realize it wasn't ever what I really led myself to believe it was. So will I ever feel that way about another person? Not likely...because now I understand that it was the naive, fairytale-type belief of love. And I do think that most everyone goes through the disillusionment to that sort of love at some point in their life. But does that mean I will never love again? No. I have - and while it didn't work out (his problem, not mine)...I'm sure I will again. It just takes time. The first step, though, is letting go of that fantasy of perfection. You hit the nail right on the head there, this is something I am trying to understand. Thank you for your words. Link to post Share on other sites
wysiwyg6000 Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 I contacted my ex after a year and a half to see if she was open to getting back together, even though I knew she was seeing someone for almost a year. During this time period, I've put her on a pedestal about how great she is/was and how she was just at a bad point in her life and how we needed to do our own thing to realize what we had with each other. Well, she wrote back telling me all of this stuff about her and her current boyfriend and kind of rubbed it into my face, so guess what? She's not the great person I thought she was because what she did showed a total lack of regard for my feelings and any class. Contacting her was the best thing I did because it finally showed me who she really was and how there's really something better out there for me. Like mentioned in an earlier post, you need to stop glorifying her because she's not as great as you make her out to be. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Adi Posted July 12, 2011 Author Share Posted July 12, 2011 Hey thank you that makes so much sense, about me trying to find perfection i have done that and had it now it is time to move on im chatting to a great girl at the moment im going to fully focus on her. And anyway my ex is messed up how could i ever start again with someone like that thanks Link to post Share on other sites
IfiKnewThen Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 i think finding someone else again that you can be happy with depends on a lot. first of all, you 1) HAVE TO keep yourself open to it. that is for certain. 2) you cant keep "looking" back at "them".. the ex person. 3) get the ex off the pedestal. 4) see that you CAN make it without "them". do things you did together and see and recognize you can do it alone now 5) 6) you have to grieve them, and then either forgive the whole mess and move on or hate them for the mess but still move forward. there was someone on here whose thread i used to follow and recent he contacted me and told me he got married!!! he was so heartbroken before. granted he was younger and i think younger people do tend to get through things quicker and have more of a chance of meeting someone new. but he did get over that girl who broke his heart so bad and he fell in love again and got married. and yes, he was the one who was originally dumped. also theres a couple on here getting married to each other now. is there life and love after this. yes. you have to begin to make it so. get out there. keep an open mind. use a visualization board. pray to God for your match. most of all ...believe and hope still. thats what i am guessing.. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts