proteinshake25 Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 The relationship lasted 3 yrs, we lived together for 2 yrs. I dumped her b/c of commitment issues, and an old crush had contacted me and I fell in love with her. My old crush lived in another state and ecen when we split, i told my ex i'd always love her. The old cruh and I hungout a few times, but I began to miss my ex, 6 weeks post breakup. I tried to see her but she refused. Turned out she started dating another guy 2 weeks after the breakup. For months my ex would call and just yell and cry like crazy, never let me talk. She has now ignored me for months, but was even crying on the phone last month with me. She ignores me,blocked my # and says she's over me,called me a stalker,and blocked my #. Her current guy has a criminal record,etc. Not a great catch considering me and her completed college together,got real fit, got great jobs,such a great team.How can i get her back?broken up for 5 months now. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
wilsonx Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 All I have to say is justice is served on this one. What you did was not fair to your relationship and your ex. You made a destructive decision that was win/lose. What you did to your ex is immature, low character and childish and now you want her back. Im glad she doesn't want you back. I do not want my ex back for the same crap she pulled on me When you are in a relationship or anywhere in your life you want to learn and start making decisions that are win/win. You know sometimes you have to use a win/lose decision here and there but never to someone you are interdependent with. And the answer to your question is absolutely not. If shes ignoring you, you are toast. Move on Link to post Share on other sites
Nohbody Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 She's not over you, she's probably using this new guy to dampen the pain of being dumped. At this point it's probably going to be something of a waiting game, and success is by no means guaranteed. But if you can wait, and not be tired by waiting... Link to post Share on other sites
FinOuch Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 As someone who was on the receiving end of something similar...all I can say to you is that IF she were willing to try again (which sounds doubtful considering the extent to which she is ignoring you)...you will have a mountain of problems to overcome. Problems that YOU created. (see everything Wilsonx said and take it to heart) What you did was incredibly immature, and likely obliterated any trust that this girl had for you. It's going to take a lot of work on your part to rebuild that (if she gives you the opportunity). Do you really have what it takes to put forth that effort? Link to post Share on other sites
Author proteinshake25 Posted July 12, 2011 Author Share Posted July 12, 2011 I know what I did was wrong. Shee was my first long term relationship, and i hhad to leave her, iin order to see if i should marry her. Had I married her, I would always be asking what if? Id be willing to do anything, we're both incredibly strong people, and have been through tons of drama together, and accomplished many things. Link to post Share on other sites
HeartOfAPhoenix Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 I know what I did was wrong. Shee was my first long term relationship, and i hhad to leave her, iin order to see if i should marry her. Had I married her, I would always be asking what if? Id be willing to do anything, we're both incredibly strong people, and have been through tons of drama together, and accomplished many things. I bet now your asking yourself "what if... I hadn't broken up with this chick". life is full of what if's, what if I had decided to major in business instead of computer technology? would I have a good paying job right now? Anyway back to your issue, you have your work well cut out for you here. You do hold a slight... slight advantage because you were the dumper. In which case she will be on her road to healing and after her rebound man has ran his course you might stand a chance in reconciling with her. But respect her if she declines you in any way, even if she is very cold about it. what you did was very immature and surely damaged her heart so hold respect for this woman even if she rejects your attempt to reconcile. Link to post Share on other sites
wilsonx Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 If she is no contact, seeing someone else and its been 5 months, theres close to 0% chance. The reason being is if that relationship fails, and you 2 were to get back together, she would resent you, even subconsciously if she doesn't show it. I would suggest just move forward and dont make the same mistake again Link to post Share on other sites
FinOuch Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 If she is no contact, seeing someone else and its been 5 months, theres close to 0% chance. The reason being is if that relationship fails, and you 2 were to get back together, she would resent you, even subconsciously if she doesn't show it. I would suggest just move forward and dont make the same mistake again I don't know that I would go so far as to say 0%. I have actually seen a couple of friends of mine reconcile after something like this. (seriously, is there something in the water that makes this happen???) But, she loved him incredibly deeply and has a open-mind and forgiving heart. Not all girls fall into this category. Even so, she wasn't a doormat. It did take a long time and a lot of effort on his part to get back to stable ground. After about 8 months he started trying to get in contact with her again. And she flat out refused his attempts at contact. I kid you not when I say that she literally ignored every text, email, and phone call he made for three months. THREE MONTHS of chasing her with no response. Could you handle that, OP? When she did start talking to him again, he was met with extreme skepticism. It took another five months of rebuilding a friendship only with her before she was willing to even consider trying a relationship again with him. What this means is that he stayed loyal to her and dated no one else even though no romantic relationship existed between them and she was not willing to promise one. FIVE MONTHS of proving that he can act in a boyfriend capacity without getting a girlfriend in return. Could you handle that, OP? When she finally did agree to try the relationship again, it was not all roses and butterflies. He still had to work on regaining her trust, he's had to talk through the issues that made him bounce for an ex-flame in the first place, and he's had to actively show her day in and day out that he's in this for real this time. So just realize, OP, that your chances are incredibly slim that she'll ever let you back into her life. In order to have that chance you may have to deal with months of rejection, followed by even more months of proving your worth to her, followed by a relationship of basically kissing her *ss. Could you handle eating crow in this capacity for that long, OP? Link to post Share on other sites
CaliBabe Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 Wow FinOuch, that is an incredible story. Link to post Share on other sites
SugarLily Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 I don't think this girl is right for you. If she was, you proabably wouldn't have found it so easy to 'fall in love' with your ex again. I actually think you treated your now ex pretty badly - if I were her, I couldn't have a future with you. All you can do is learn from your mistakes. x Link to post Share on other sites
Author proteinshake25 Posted July 13, 2011 Author Share Posted July 13, 2011 I would def. be willing to go thoose lengths. She really loved me quite a bit, she always said she could "see us together forever" like she'd have dreams about it. I've recently been readin abou astrology and did one of thoose calculators where you enter date of birth, me and her had nearly a perfect score. Im gonna email it to her. Link to post Share on other sites
TheHurtProcess Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 I would def. be willing to go thoose lengths. She really loved me quite a bit, she always said she could "see us together forever" like she'd have dreams about it. I've recently been readin abou astrology and did one of thoose calculators where you enter date of birth, me and her had nearly a perfect score. Im gonna email it to her. I don't think some superstitious astrology sign calculator's opinion is really going to make a difference as far as getting her back is concerned. This is the real world my friend and you caused some real pain. Boy, do you have your work set out for you. You may say that you're willing to do whatever it takes. But most people might give it a shot for maybe a few weeks to a month tops and if they weren't getting anything or anywhere in return, they'd run. Think about it... Would you work out knowing that you wouldn't even begin to see any results whatsoever for the first five months and then slowly for the next several months you might gain a small amount of progress here and there? Most people would give up after a month or so. Link to post Share on other sites
leon88 Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 Of course, it is very well possible to get her back. But that really depends on your approach and how much she still loves you. First of all, you need to check out whether she is attached and understand from her friends whether she still likes her. Link to post Share on other sites
TheHurtProcess Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 Of course, it is very well possible to get her back. But that really depends on your approach and how much she still loves you. First of all, you need to check out whether she is attached and understand from her friends whether she still likes her. It's quite obvious that you're here to sell an ebook or two considering your signature. The problem with these ebooks and your comment is that you're giving someone hope (in hopes that they might attempt to purchase one of your misleading ebooks) where there seems to be no hope whatsoever. We here at LS, give them how it is. We like to tell the honest truth regardless of how brutal it may seem. Yet this is actual life in a realistic sense. Link to post Share on other sites
leon88 Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 To my honest opinion, not necessary i am selling any ebook. I am just here to provide free advice. People can just browse the site without having to purchase anything =) Link to post Share on other sites
leon88 Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 To further add on to that, the sites do not necessary require you to buy anything. It has already free advice for them to read on. I am a person who face lots of relationship problems. So i want to help. Link to post Share on other sites
radiodarcy Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 not sure what your point is leon. the advice here on love shack is 100% free as well. and - - as hurt process said is brutally honest. which is needed in many cases such as these. all these other sites offer is false hope. which isn't helping anyone. Link to post Share on other sites
Lemontang Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 Sorry Leon88, we're happy for you to offer advice, this is what this site is based on after all, but you may want to read the community guide lines on external links, they must be non-commercial in nature. That aside proteinshake25 I'd be chalking this up as a loss and at the very least focus on a friendship only for now and if only to rebuild trust, and even then I'd still stay off the scene for quite some time before even doing that. But if she is seeing someone else, rebound or not, do not interfere, period. Like you, she's made her choice regardless if you agree or not and if you think your cut from a better cloth. Also do not send her that astrology stuff or even letters etc...it reaks of desperation and will only turn her off you more.....if anything sending her that astrology stuff to me reads as creepy. I'm not throwing out false hope but who's to say where you or her will be years from now. I've had ex's contact me many years later just to test the waters again. So if things are still charged, stay away. Time as always heals all things. Link to post Share on other sites
radiodarcy Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 i agree with lemonlegs - -i'd stay away from the astrology idea. astrology is just one of those fun things to do. it really doesn't hold any water when your talking about compatibility along other, more concrete lines like values, experiences, daily habits, etc. i'm an aquarius does that mean that i'd be compatible with a libra or sagitarius (two signs with which i'm supposed to be compatible) who is a right-wing republican, is obsessed with acquiring material items and likes to carouse at all hours of the night? probably not. Link to post Share on other sites
TheHurtProcess Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 i'm an aquarius does that mean that i'd be compatible with a libra or sagitarius (two signs with which I'm supposed to be compatible) who is a right-wing republican, is obsessed with acquiring material items and likes to carouse at all hours of the night? probably not. I'm a libra! However, I'm no right wing republican, nor am I obsessed with acquiring material items or do I like to carouse all night. Look... we're a match! Link to post Share on other sites
radiodarcy Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 I'm a libra! However, I'm no right wing republican, nor am I obsessed with acquiring material items or do I like to carouse all night. Look... we're a match! hahaha... could be! Link to post Share on other sites
FinOuch Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 LMFAO @ astrology. Seriously! My ex-husband was the "perfect match" sign for me. Note the prefix "ex". That worked out real well... Maybe I should've been looking for the other perfect match sign. OH GOD I NEED A PISCES S.T.A.T!!! Link to post Share on other sites
wilsonx Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 To further add on to that, the sites do not necessary require you to buy anything. It has already free advice for them to read on. I am a person who face lots of relationship problems. So i want to help. HAHA, I love these guys that have websites that post about getting their ex back or the best pickup lines. I will tell everyone here the best pickup line in the world and guess what, I am doing this for free. Its "Hey". The point of a pickup line is to initiate contact and guess what the best way to initiate contact is? Saying "Hey!" Link to post Share on other sites
TheHurtProcess Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 HAHA, I love these guys that have websites that post about getting their ex back or the best pickup lines. I will tell everyone here the best pickup line in the world and guess what, I am doing this for free. Its "Hey". The point of a pickup line is to initiate contact and guess what the best way to initiate contact is? Saying "Hey!" Exactly. Smile. Be yourself. Don't pick up someone else's pickup lines. Link to post Share on other sites
Author proteinshake25 Posted July 14, 2011 Author Share Posted July 14, 2011 I wont email her the astrology thing. Im crushed, I made such a terrible mistake, never in my life have i regretted something so much. There was a day back in march where i came over to pick some of my things up, and I wanted to hug her so badly, but didnt, I didnt want her to get more attached to me. She was trying to entice me with sex before that and didnt as well. Her bday is coming up and i wanted to mail her something,but she's already told me to stop contacting her, when I emailed her last week. I was thinking of mailing her something very sentimental a few months from now, what do you guys think? Link to post Share on other sites
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