NicoleM Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 I am dating this great guy but my OCD is getting in the way of my relationship. I got burned on my last relationship so my OCD is really kicking in. My last relationship the guy left me and left my self-esteem into shambles. I obsess over and over again thinking is this guy going to do the same?? He doesn't text me for awhile I freak out.I obsess did I say the wrong thing?? Is he seeing someone??? My OCD is literally getting in the way of my relationship. I cannot get these obsessive thoughts out of my head. I talk to my friends and they say stop worrying but I can't stop obsessing. What should I do?? I am having a really hard time. Link to post Share on other sites
robaday Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 I have the same issue. But in my case it only seems to come out in relationships - I dont wash my hands a million times a day, nor have other rituals. But I do think. Overthink. If Im more into the other person than I cant get thoughts of them cheating out of my mind. If they are more into me, I keep non-stop questioning whether they are the right partner finding faults. In my case, it's commitment phobia, I get panic attacks, anxiety, and sometimes I disassociate from my surroundings even the other person. In your case it sounds more like insecurity, emotional wounds that haven't healed yet. Have you spent a long time single since your last break up? Have you worked on yourself? Are you a better, stronger person for having gone through that pain? Are you sure you are ready for a relationship? After my last one ended I know Im not........and probably not for a long time. Link to post Share on other sites
bigmomma1974 Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 Have you seen a therapist for your OCD. Anxiety is a big part of ocd and some anxiety meds could help or seeing a therpist and setting guidlines up and work on going by them to help yourself deal with your ocd. I have some issues with ocd and working through it with my therpist and anxiety medication is a big relief. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 I talk to my friends and they say stop worrying but I can't stop obsessing. This is the worst thing to say to an OCD sufferer. You CANNOT stop worrying due to brain chemical imbalances, and failing to stop worrying will make you feel worse. You need to get in therapy quick as you can. Drugs can help but they only cover up the symptoms, they don't fix the problem. You really need cognitive behavioural therapy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author NicoleM Posted July 13, 2011 Author Share Posted July 13, 2011 I take medicine but you are probably right I do need cognitive therapy. Medicine can only do so much. One of my friends suggested I wear a rubber band ( which I am doing) and everytime I think of negative thoughts I snap myself. It does seem to be helping so far;) Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 Yes the rubber band is a form of cognitive therapy for mild OCD. Of course the danger is that the rubber band itself will become an obsession or compulsion... Link to post Share on other sites
Author NicoleM Posted July 13, 2011 Author Share Posted July 13, 2011 i guess I have to make them tighter because I am obsessing again. I snap myself and it hurts but then I start obsessing again. I keep thinking he is with someone besides me which worries me. It happened to me on my last relationship of course did a real number on my self-esteem. I dated him for almost a month ( last relationship) and I am guessing it is too soon. My wounds haven't healed properly yet and I am still having trust issues. He is an amazing guy but the trust issues and obsessing are giving me headaches and migraines. I went from my last relationship straight into another one. Link to post Share on other sites
Virgil Posted July 14, 2011 Share Posted July 14, 2011 I have the same issue. But in my case it only seems to come out in relationships - I dont wash my hands a million times a day, nor have other rituals. But I do think. Overthink. If Im more into the other person than I cant get thoughts of them cheating out of my mind. If they are more into me, I keep non-stop questioning whether they are the right partner finding faults. In my case, it's commitment phobia, I get panic attacks, anxiety, and sometimes I disassociate from my surroundings even the other person. In your case it sounds more like insecurity, emotional wounds that haven't healed yet. Have you spent a long time single since your last break up? Have you worked on yourself? Are you a better, stronger person for having gone through that pain? Are you sure you are ready for a relationship? After my last one ended I know Im not........and probably not for a long time. Yes, I have issues similar to this. I was also diagnosed with OCD (different reasons though). But I overthink a lot of things in relationships. I overthink all my faults which leads me to thinking I'm a bad boyfriend which leads me to depression... then I feel bad for feeling bad and I stay depressed longer than I should. The whole cycle can take a week or more to work out before I'm actually happy again. In my most recent relationship I thought many times I was a bad boyfriend. And I would question why my girlfriend loved me and dated me. I feared very often that she would up and leave and I would be shattered. And she did end up leaving. I'm working with someone though; a therapist. But from one OCD-er to another, I know how you're feeling. Same goes for the OP. Link to post Share on other sites
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