Best friend love

[Average55]

Hey guys kinda new here but kind of get how this works.

So I'll give some background. And I'll use some fake names to make things simple. And for a heads up I'm not so much of a religious man but for understanding purposes, I'm Muslim and so are these girls

 

So there was this girl Jessica that I fell inlove with the moment I saw her. So I chased her a couple months and got to know her, after 4-5 month I manned up and admitted I liked her and she turned me down. So I walked away sad but I got over it. A year later she starts talking to me and she starts flirting with me and I took it as in she wanted to be friends. During this time I grew very VERY close with her Bestfriend Katy. Me and Katy got really close and we flirted ALOT! in return that made Jessica one day cry run away and call me hours later saying she hates me, long story short she was jealous and asked me out the next day. We went out for 6 months, and let me say they were a very horrible 6 months.*

 

She was a jealous BITCH that hated everybody and made me hate everybody along with her....yea I was an idiot who blindly inlove :/. She made me and Katy get into multiple fights cuz she thought we both liked eachother, which I never could figure out if I did or I didn't. I did some horrible stuff to Katy and even after me and Jessica broke up she forgave me and helped me through the break up.

 

After that whole incident I realized I should've never went for Jessica and that Katy was the one I really liked and really actually got along with. She was the one that I didn't fall inlove with the second I saw her, I guess I started to like her after I got to know her.*

 

I wanted to tell Katy this but I wanted to wait, so she doesn't think or no one else thinks shes a rebound girl. She was going back to her country for vacation during the summer. So I told her before leaving that I found someone I like but I'm not ready yet.*

 

Two months later she comes back and shes engaged. This was an engagement pushed on By her parents and she truly didnt and doesnt like the guy but it's a cultural thing. So I keep quite and hide my feelings as best as I can. And we stayed bestfriends for 1 year and till now we are still friends.( in total we've been friends for about 4 years)

 

Though through out this time her fiancé has grew hatred for me since he's overseas and hasn't really met me, so he's told her many times to not talk to me, she refuses to stop talking to me.*

 

Two months ago we were together hanging out and she put her arms around me and rested head on my should and we just talked about are past and her relationship with her fiancé. She said he's been forcing to have sex before marriage and that she's thinking about calling it off cuz she doesn't like him. Also that she has someone else in mind that she wants to be with after calling it off. And with out telling who it is she asks me who was the girl I liked before she left last summer. I refused to answer and kept making up random girls name and she knew right away I was lying about every girl.

 

A couples weeks later I manned up and thought that she deserves to know, so we meet up and I open the subject right away and tell her that I liked her for a while and that I never bring it up cuz she got engaged. She says she knew all along that she was the girl but never was sure. She says that I shouldve told her before she left and that I was "one" of guys that she was thinking of to be with if she left her fiancé.*

 

And now the present we still talk and everything just lately I find she's pushing me away by talking less and not really caring about what ever we are talking about. It might be because shes jealous because I'm looking to hook up with another girl to try to forget about her. I'm not entirely sure why she's being this way and what I should I do?*

 

I know this is abit long but just wanted to give all the info to get a precise solution :S.*