My mother slapped me and I'm pissed

[Taramere]

I end up crying, not from the slap itself but the fact she never hit me.

 

To make a long story short I got wasted and well it created an argument. She started yelling in my face and so in my drunkard state of mind, I yelled back. It was in one of those moment, one word (the next day she told me I had used the C word on her) slipped from me and it happened so fast. She slapped me so hard, I almost lost my balance.

 

I just started crying and said Mom, you never hit me, I hate you, I hate then just headed to my room.

We're gonna talk about this later on and well she feels kind of bad too for doing this.

This is normally not the way I act out and never was. I was drunk at that moment.

 

The right side of my face is still red from the slap. Should I still be upset because I am?

 

It goes without saying that you were in the wrong. No 16 year old can expect to stagger into the parental home drunk and not benefit from a serious talking to the next day. The crucial phrase, however, being the next day

 

I'm surprised by the number of people who said your mother did the right thing. Common sense decrees that yelling in the face of somebody who is wasted will achieve nothing beyond a Jerry Springer showdown of the type that occurred - ie involving screaming and possibly some physical violence. If I'd been your mother I would have sent you to your room and then gone in the next morning to have some serious words with you once you'd sobered up and were feeling unpleasantly hungover. You'd also spend the weekend weeding the garden and making yourself useful around the house rather than going out anywhere.

 

That said, I definitely don't suggest you file assault charges against your mother. That would create a rift that might take years to heal. It seems like a better plan for you and your mother to sit down and work out what would be a fair penalty for you to pay for getting drunk and abusive....and for you both to create a strong agreement that verbal and physical abuse aren't acceptable from either of you.

[leftfordead2]

She used to do the same too at my age so I don't get why all the yelling. I'm not going to be an alcoholic. I was just enjoying a partying and I've only drank twice, but this is only the first time I've ever been drunk.

 

I didn't really remembered calling her the c word, she had to tell me the next day.

 

So you were drunk till you don't even remember saying the c word?

[turnera]

Because she's 16, she deserves a slapping? Sounds like you deserve a slapping...

Because she's 16, got so drunk - under age, and illegally - that she couldn't control her mouth, that she yelled at her mother, that she called her mother the C word, that she so provoked her mother who, most likely by this time is beyond despair at having raised such a daughter who would do these things...a slap is understandable. Getting slapped is not the end of the world, and it just may have woken up her daughter that the path she is on is both wrong and unsustainable. One can hope.

[turnera]

It goes without saying that you were in the wrong. No 16 year old can expect to stagger into the parental home drunk and not benefit from a serious talking to the next day. The crucial phrase, however, being the next day

 

I'm surprised by the number of people who said your mother did the right thing. Common sense decrees that yelling in the face of somebody who is wasted will achieve nothing beyond a Jerry Springer showdown of the type that occurred - ie involving screaming and possibly some physical violence. If I'd been your mother I would have sent you to your room and then gone in the next morning to have some serious words with you once you'd sobered up and were feeling unpleasantly hungover. You'd also spend the weekend weeding the garden and making yourself useful around the house rather than going out anywhere.

.

I completely agree that this is what she should have done. However, in all honesty, most parents are not that evolved when it comes to being a well-informed, logical parent, in the face of severe stress like this. The mother was probably treated the same way and never learned anything better. Sometimes it takes a shock like this to bring everything into perspective from both sides.

 

Hopefully, KaReN coming here has given her something to think about -expecting pats on the back and getting criticized instead - and hopefully they've talked it through and determined a better path for both of them.

[oldguy]

I must keep repeating this;

"DRUNK IS NOT A VIABLE EXCUSE, EVER"!

 

"gee officer, It's not my fault I ran into the back of you car, I've been drinking". WTH!?!

[TwinkletOes26]

So slapping her is the correct way to teach her right from wrong....wow just wow....ok

 

 

Anywho you are 16 and the law states you cant drink until you are 21..so that is why your mother was upset.....now just wait until you are 18 go to college and then you can drink all you want like other kids do....i kid i kid..but seriously talk to your mother apologize and keep holding on until you are 18 .

[turnera]

So slapping her is the correct way to teach her right from wrong....wow just wow....ok

 

How many women think it's acceptable to slap a man?

 

I don't think it's right to slap anyone, nowadays, but neither should the OP go around acting like she's some poor victim when she knows her actions were wrong.

[cheergirl]

No one has the right to hit you.

 

Yeah, but if you get drunk and start mouthing off in grown people's faces and call them c***s, believe me, they will... It will be a LOT freakin' worse than a slap... Hello???

Has it made you think twice about getting drunk?

Your mom slapped you, ("aaaawww, it's still wed and it stings", BOO-FREAKIN'-HOO, KIDDO!:p:p)

What if you did it to some random dude who decided to PUNCH you in the face, rather than slap you? Now maybe that won't happen because your mom's slap was hopefully a reality check for you and you'll never do that again....

 

I think you should tell her how disappointed you are that she would be violent with you. Apologize for the way you behaved, and state that you hope she will never, ever do that again.

 

Whoa..... let's get back to the beginning,

 

1. YOU SHOULD APOLOGIZE FOR GETTING DRUNK AND CALLING YOUR MOTHER A DISGUSTING NAME.

2. YOU SHOULD BEG HER FORGIVENESS AND PROMISE NEVER TO BEHAVE LIKE TRASH IN HER HOUSE AGAIN...

 

THIS is the proper perspective, you ARE NOT the victim here...

You are a kid who behaved badly, you got a slap. PERIOD, FULLSTOP. You're not injured, you're not dying, your pride is hurt.

Stop blaming your mum and see that it is you who caused the situation. she never even hit you before you got drunk and cursed her out...

Are you gonna listen to people telling you you should call the cops on your MOM???? Are you kidding me?????:eek:

 

If she does ever hit you again, maybe you should consider filing charges for assault. :eek: Also, it's time to move out of your mother's home and start acting like an adult, assuming you are an adult.

How can you suggest a vulnerable teen girl should leave home. She clearly isn't ready... she needs her mom, someone to express boundaries...

 

 

I am going to say that your mother was right to slap you. It is completely unacceptable, to speak to your mother with such disrespect. It is not as if she randomly beats you badly for nothing.

 

Parents are now too afraid of their children. Children now have too much power. These days, discipline is frowned upon and a generation of spoiled disrespectful kids are coming up.

 

Sorry but I agree, if my dear daughter called me that I would slap her and kick her ass out the door and wait for the cops.

WTF is wrong w/people where a kid can call their parent dirty names and be drunk in front of them? WTF???

 

I'm sorry, but you really did deserve it for getting drunk at 16 and then coming back and acting up. Crying physical abuse at the tiniest slap is bullcrap. It would be a different story if she did something that could actually harm you, but she did not.

If you're underage, don't drink.

If you can't control yourself when you're drunk, don't drink and then expect people to make allowances for you.

If you're underage AND can't control yourself when you're drunk, well, it's pretty obvious what you should do, innit?

 

Hear, hear the voice of reason...

 

Slap well-deserved because:

 

1) You're 16;

 

2) You got drunk;

 

3) In your drunk stage, you calling your mother names.

 

You deserve THREE slapping!

 

How many women think it's acceptable to slap a man?

I don't think it's right to slap anyone, nowadays, but neither should the OP go around acting like she's some poor victim when she knows her actions were wrong.

 

I don't think it's right for a woman to slap a man or vice-versa.

I also don't see how that relates to this... the mum isn't abusive. she lost it momentarily when the daughter came home drunk and verbally abusive...

I'm sure she's sorry and I don't see it as being a big deal...

[Tayla]

Taramere must have been related to my parents. That is partly what they did with a twist. My Dad understood the desire for a Teen to test the "drug" scene and he was open in discussion on what was acceptable and what wasnt. One night I called because I had enough sense to not drive home from a party. He picked me up ( since I was WAY to inebriated to function) and Drove home thru the rockiest of roads ( trust me my stomach didn't appreciate it!) and when we got home he went to the kitchen, handed me a glass of milk and said, here dear, Have this. go throw up and in the morning we SHALL talk about this! The next morning we talked openly about the experience and at no point did he judge me other then to say...Thank you for having the sense to call home and NOT drive. Now my step mom on the other hand tried the slap on the face and that didn't fair well in our household. My Dad made it clear that such behavior from any member is intolerable.

 

As for the folks who think a "16 year Old" deserves a slap or shouting too, you aren't ready for civility, come back when empathy is administered or when you experience a good slap of common sense

[Disillusioned]

I end up crying, not from the slap itself but the fact she never hit me.

 

To make a long story short I got wasted and well it created an argument. She started yelling in my face and so in my drunkard state of mind, I yelled back. It was in one of those moment, one word (the next day she told me I had used the C word on her) slipped from me and it happened so fast. She slapped me so hard, I almost lost my balance.

 

I just started crying and said Mom, you never hit me, I hate you, I hate then just headed to my room.

We're gonna talk about this later on and well she feels kind of bad too for doing this.

This is normally not the way I act out and never was. I was drunk at that moment.

 

The right side of my face is still red from the slap. Should I still be upset because I am?

 

No. You deserved it for coming home drunk and cussing her out.

[TwinkletOes26]

Taramere must have been related to my parents. That is partly what they did with a twist. My Dad understood the desire for a Teen to test the "drug" scene and he was open in discussion on what was acceptable and what wasnt. One night I called because I had enough sense to not drive home from a party. He picked me up ( since I was WAY to inebriated to function) and Drove home thru the rockiest of roads ( trust me my stomach didn't appreciate it!) and when we got home he went to the kitchen, handed me a glass of milk and said, here dear, Have this. go throw up and in the morning we SHALL talk about this! The next morning we talked openly about the experience and at no point did he judge me other then to say...Thank you for having the sense to call home and NOT drive. Now my step mom on the other hand tried the slap on the face and that didn't fair well in our household. My Dad made it clear that such behavior from any member is intolerable.

 

As for the folks who think a "16 year Old" deserves a slap or shouting too, you aren't ready for civility, come back when empathy is administered or when you experience a good slap of common sense

 

Now this is the voice of reason...soon she will be an adult and if her mother slaps her then regardless of what she says she CAN call the cops and the cops WILL press charges...it is not against the law to call people names it is however against the law to ASSAULT another person....and yes when she is an adult her mom can also throw her out BUT if she slaps her again ASSAULT.

 

No one should be hitting anyone...so what if her mom lost her temper if i loose my temper with my coworker and slap her for calling me a bad name she CAN still call the cops and the cops WILL again press charges. I dont expect everyone to agree but thats just my POV.

[Taramere]

Taramere must have been related to my parents. That is partly what they did with a twist. My Dad understood the desire for a Teen to test the "drug" scene and he was open in discussion on what was acceptable and what wasnt.

 

I'm kind of laughing reading this, and looking back over my post.

 

It goes without saying that you were in the wrong. No 16 year old can expect to stagger into the parental home drunk and not benefit from a serious talking to the next day.

 

When I think back, I can recall having several friends round when I was 16 - and we sat in the back room playing drinking games while my parents had a party. My very middle class, professional parents were totally aware of this - as were their friends. Or they became aware of it once I skipped through, a bit pissed (drunk) to greet them all enthusiastically. They all just laughed about it.

 

Child abuse! Neglect! Call the police!

 

Fact is, I can't remember a time when I wasn't allowed to drink. I don't mean getting blasted on Tequila at the age of 8....but at home, wine during meals was on offer to me from an early age. Usually I preferred to stick to soft drinks though. Drink's never been much of an issue for me. Now and again I'd get a bit hammered in my younger days, but it wasn't some sort of big rebellion and I never got to the point where I was out of control and did anything I wouldn't be happy to do sober. The only thing I've ever done, when drunk, that I've been ashamed of the next day has involved being sick....which, depending on the time of the month, can happen on a very small amount of alcohol on account of it being a migraine trigger.

 

I don't get it when people get abusive, or have sex they later regret and blame it all on drink. Even when I've had a lot to drink I'm still in control of what I say and do (other than talking a bit more crap than usual). I might be wrong, but I think a lot of the time people use drink as an excuse to say or do something they wanted to do...but just didn't feel able to do while sober.

 

One night I called because I had enough sense to not drive home from a party. He picked me up ( since I was WAY to inebriated to function) and Drove home thru the rockiest of roads ( trust me my stomach didn't appreciate it!) and when we got home he went to the kitchen, handed me a glass of milk and said, here dear, Have this. go throw up

 

Ugh. The thought of milk and rocky roads when you feel sick anyway...

[turnera]

These kids are in for a rude awakening and a very sad, unfulfilling dysfunctional adulthood...

This will be the mantra used when people look back at this generation. I feel sorry for the kids of THESE kids.

[bentnotbroken]

I don't know if your mom should have slapped you or not, but I do know I probably would have done the same thing had my 16(I've gone through the teens years more than once already)came home drunk and with a nasty mouth. Actually they may have gotten more than a slap, since I am the one who pays the bills and does the worrying. And if something would happen I would be held legally responsible for the minor's actions. I am sure you and your mother will work things out.

[FeelingSmall]

I'm sorry you're mother lashed out at you like that... Had I called my mother a C*** at any point (I'm sure even today) She'd beat me severely though, as far as I'm concerned you got off easy!

 

I received a slap or two growing up (Maybe a few, I could be a pain), and frankly I think more kids should be getting them. I would NEVER act like that at home, or out for that matter because I KNEW what would happen to me if my mother were to find out about it. Kept me in line and for the most part, out of trouble. Which today I'm thankful for.

 

You will get over it, so will she, you will talk and you'll be fine. You probably will think twice before talking to her that way again though...

[KaReNine]

OP, that sounds like some pretty righteous teenage rebellion.

Not really, that was the first and only time. You people should quit assuming I'm always like this or that I'm a lost case.

To the poster that said how can I not remembered saying that word... well I really don't.

Where's your father?

I never knew who he was and probably never will but it'll be cool if that happens. Though one time I actually dreamt about him and he seemed like a very tall, handsome man (not sure if that's how he looks like).

If mom is the adult who did learn from her experiences, she'll approach and some parenting will go on. It would be really beneficial to be open to that. Some apologies may be shared. If so, accept them.

Yes we end up apologizing to each other, me for acting out and her for also lashing out and slapping me.

Since this behavior was out of the ordinary for her (unclear if for you), I'd say her anger outburst was motivated by fear. A whole range of them come to mind, but the overwhelming one is you turning up dead.

I notice many posters here seem to put all the blame on me when I wasn't the one who yelled first. I was actually calmed when coming home, it's when she got into my face and wouldn't stop yelling that I acted it. So technically I was provoked too.

[KaReNine]

The OP was really being "civil" when she came home drunk and cursed her mother, right?

You're forgetting she got in my face in the first place when I didn't even say nothing at that moment. I only cursed because she wouldn't get out of my way and wouldn't stopped. Quit putting all the blame on me. We were both at fault, not just me, her too.

[KaReNine]

:lmao::lmao:

The Disney Princess W/Attitude Syndrome...

I'm sooo special...

I deserve it! I'm sooo worth it...:lmao::lmao:

I clearly didn't come here to be placed labels. I don't wanna be rude but if you got nothing better to say then keep it to yourself.

I came here because I was upset at that moment. You would have felt the same way if someone that never hit you, does it for the first time. It was a shock to me because that was really out of her character, as it was out of my character to act out and curse.

 

To those that think hitting kids is what makes them sucessful in life, ok good for you. Whatever works out for you. This wasn't used while growing up and no that's not the reason why this happened.

Just because I acted that way once doesn't mean I'm like all the time.

Edited July 22, 2011 by KaReNine

[turnera]

Not really, that was the first and only time. You people should quit assuming I'm always like this or that I'm a lost case.

To the poster that said how can I not remembered saying that word... well I really don't.

Which you'll learn, as you get older, means that you had WAY more alcohol than your body can handle. Not remembering what happened when you are drunk means you should slow down on the drinking, or you will end up dead, face down, in a ditch because you are beyond controlling your own body, nor remembering your actions. Which adds up to you calling your mom the C word. I'm sure you would never do that when not drunk, so what does that tell you about drinking? Is it really the legacy you want to create? That you have to go out and get dead drunk in order to be popular, or wanted, or funny, or whatever reason you gave yourself for getting so drunk at SIXTEEN?

 

I taught my DD20 what alcohol tastes like, at home, in a controlled environment, so she can recognize when someone gives her a fixed drink. I invited her to try it out at home, to see what it feels like to get drunk, so she can know what it feels like, so she can know when it's time to STOP. And so she can do it in the safety of home. You're lucky you made it home if you were that drunk. You have a lot of life ahead of you. I hope you'll realize that you CAN have a great time without getting drunk. My daughter does it all the time, and frankly, no one cares if she's drinking or not. They just enjoy being around her. Imagine what would happen if she got so drunk she started calling her girlfriends the C word or worse. She would become the butt of their jokes. Is that what you want?

 

I notice many posters here seem to put all the blame on me when I wasn't the one who yelled first. I was actually calmed when coming home, it's when she got into my face and wouldn't stop yelling that I acted it. So technically I was provoked too.

You were calm because you were drunk; it's a sedative. Are you going to spend the rest of your life justifying when you do something wrong? People around you will get tired of that real fast. Do you know the most powerful words on the planet? "I'm sorry." Humility will get you friends, access to things you want, and respect. You're admitting you did wrong, but in the next breath, you turn around and blame your mom again. Kind of negates your apology, huh?

 

Listen to cheergirl; she's got a lot of great advice for you.

[bentnotbroken]

I'm going to do neither now.

 

You will be an adult soon.

• All actions have reactions/consequence
  
• you will have to live with them
  
• your mom is not your enemy
  
• she probably loves you more than anyone on this planet ever will and would willingly take a bullet for you
  
• As you mature, after you leave home, you will come to understand the significance of having a person like this in your life much more than you do now
  
• most people will never care about you anything near how much she does
  
• she will never stop worryng/caring/thinking about you
  
• she's probably worried sick about you, your future, your choice of friends, living in a state of quiet desperation that you'll never understand until you become a mom yourself
  
• and with all this, she will put up with your rebellion, disrespect, rudeness because she loves you
  
• try to see things from her point of view, and from the other point of view in general within the context of relationships
  
• the focus of your post seems to be your hurt & indignation, rather than looking at yourself and taking responsibility for the role your behaviour played in this upsetting incident
  
• your mother "getting in your face" would not be seen here by most people who are no longer teenagers as the big terrible thing you seem to be making it here... She is your mother, not a stranger. Her face has been in your face since you were a baby.
  "Getting in a person's face", for example, a stranger on a bus, or in school is very different, justifiably seen as a sign of anger, challenging-type behaviour and could signal potential violence.
  When your mum did it, I am guessing she was more likely desperately trying to get your attention and make you listen to her. She was probably angry, scared, disappointed, and desperately worried all at the same time.
  
• Your mum is a human being, she will make mistakes, just like you. Try to give her the benefit of the doubt.
  
• Lastly, when asking advice about things of this nature ie. interpersonal relationships etc. consider more seriously the advice which conflicts with your first (usually ego-driven) instinct. In this way, you will grow as a person.
  Really hope this helps...Cheers!
  

 

 

 

Yes to all the above. When you are parent(yes I know, "I ill never do that to your child". We all said that. ) your sense of what is an appropriate response will evolve as you raise your children and deal with their different issues on a daily basis. No one here is advocating abuse. Some of us just don't think your mother was the only one whose actions were inappropriate and abusive. Your actions, while normal to an extent for teens, was emotionally and verbally abusive. If you feel that you were mistreated, then by all means call the police. If you are truly mature enough to take in the totality of the situation, you should examine your actions and reflect on what you did to escalate an already emotionally tense situation. You do know that kids don't come with manuals. It is on the job training and we learn as we go. And my guess is she has never dealt with you as a drinking(one time or not)16 year who called her a c*** to her face.

 

As a mother, fear of the safety of my child is a powerful motivator to do what I deem necessary to ensure unsafe behaviors and practices don't continue. For me that would include reporting my underage child deciding that drinking is okay. Yes, I did call my friend who is a cop and let him take my child in and do the whole nine yards. It had it's desired effect.

[turnera]

Yep. My #1 concern for DD20's high school years was to make sure she made it through it without getting so drunk she became a party rape victim, didn't get killed in her or someone else's car, didn't get pregnant, didn't end up in jail, and didn't end up dropping out of school. THAT is what a mother of a teenager thinks about.

[turnera]

I want to add, KaReN, that you show a lot of maturity in your ability to admit that you did the wrong thing. That will serve you well in the future, and I'm sure it made your mom proud of you.

[Dooda]

I'm surprised at how lacking in empathy and emotion some of you are.

"She was slapped, its not the end of the world."

How about, she got drunk, and its not the end of the world?

It happens. Teenagers get drunk. Some of you seem very quick to categorize teens and young adults and forget that you, too, were confused and young one day.

She was not civil, however let's remember who's the one learning here, and who's the one teaching. Slapping a child while she's piss drunk out of her mind is no way to react, and to those who believe it's ok or acceptable to do so really need to open their minds a bit more.

To the person who listed all the general 'facts' about a mother, none of these 'facts' can negate any negative actions that she does. If it's not OK for you to slap someone who is piss drunk and calling you a c***, why is it OK for a mother to do this to her child? A mother is teaching her child how to react to certain situations by the way she treats her. Kids follow by example. You say mothers are human beings, too, and make mistakes. Children are human beings too, and make even more mistakes. Acceptance should be taken and given equally on both sides.

To the person who said "she grew up the old way", there is no "old way". Old way seems to be one of the typical excuses parents use for abuse. There is none.

Some of the posters here seem to think inappropriate actions are suitable for inappropriate conditions. However, that is just like proving a wrong with a wrong. A responsible parent, imo, should always keep a level-head and understand that, when he/she does lose it (which happens) that it was her/his fault and not the child's.

I slapped my kid because she was drunk and insulted me. No, you slapped your kid because you lost control. Simple.

Some of you posters feel that parents have an unmistakeable superiority to their kids in terms of responsibility and actions. How do you expect kids to learn to take responsibility if you can not take responsibility for your own actions, and display this type of sensibility to your children?

It's OK for parents to act up and lose control, but its not OK for their more confused, more immature, younger counterparts to do the same?

And since when is obedience a quality that is respected or should be expected in a human being? Children are not dogs. Loyalty should always be questioned, and obedience should always be scrutinized, otherwise we do not think like humans, but like your dog who follows you around because you give it food and shelter.

To the OP, all is well, it seems. I am glad your mother has sense to understand what she did was wrong. Its also good that you understand your own actions.

Good luck to you.

[bentnotbroken]

No I disciplined my kids the way I saw fit, since I was the one paying the bills and they lived under my roof. Same thing my parents did for me. When they feel as if my rules are no longer acceptable(and they are way past 16)they can leave and I will love them no less. I found my parents rules unacceptable at 18 and did indeed move out. I never had a doubt about their love for me even though they didn't always do what some may consider "the right way" to raise a child.

 

They raised 4 of us and we are productive members of society, educated and reasonably happy. They did a great job without instructional manuals since women don't usually push deliver those right after the placenta. One slap isn't going to destroy her life no more than her calling her mother a c*** is going to destroy her. They will get past it because it appears they are living a normal parent child relationship that has conflict and love. They will resolve their issues.

 

If not maybe her mom will tell her like I would tell my own, don't let the door knob hit ya where the good Lord split ya.

[Dooda]

No I disciplined my kids the way I saw fit, since I was the one paying the bills and they lived under my roof. Same thing my parents did for me. When they feel as if my rules are no longer acceptable(and they are way past 16)they can leave and I will love them no less. I found my parents rules unacceptable at 18 and did indeed move out. I never had a doubt about their love for me even though they didn't always do what some may consider "the right way" to raise a child.

 

They raised 4 of us and we are productive members of society, educated and reasonably happy. They did a great job without instructional manuals since women don't usually push deliver those right after the placenta. One slap isn't going to destroy her life no more than her calling her mother a c*** is going to destroy her. They will get past it because it appears they are living a normal parent child relationship that has conflict and love. They will resolve their issues.

 

If not maybe her mom will tell her like I would tell my own, don't let the door knob hit ya where the good Lord split ya.

 

So because you pay the bills, you feel they owe you something and you will enforce your own rules/regulations regardless of what they feel/think? They did not ask to be born. Children owe nothing to their parents, that's what most people don't get. Children owe respect, acceptance, love just in the same way that parents owe their children these same feelings. What the problem is, though, is that we have a lot of parents still emotionally unstable raising kids of their own while not having dealt with their own, possibly hurtful childhood. That is why an abused child often becomes an abuser, mostimes not even knowing that he/she was abused or has become the abuser.

Some of you that are so harsh and quick to feel yourselves automatically 'superior' to your kids in really make me wonder...

 

@bentnotbroken, would you not rather find rules/regulations that your children find more reasonable, rather than maintain this stubborn stance that 'ny parents weren't the greatest, but it worked'? There's often a reason children feel wronged, however most parents will negate their feelings and simply look at their actions as 'disrespectful' while never looking deeper.

I honestly believe there are two types of children, those that accept their feelings and use them to become better, more caring human beings, and those that brush them off and continue the cycle of "hey, my kids don't like me, but they love me and they damn well will respect me'.

An open mind is needed when dealing with people, regardless of your relationship with them.