lastresort Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 My STBXW wants to take our kids to couneling. I have been to it and i really don't believe in what they say. I think they just get you hooked and they keep you coming to help build their bank accounts. It didn't help save our marriage and didn't help me when she left. I have to sign a consent form in order for them to see her. The major problem i have is that it is the same counelor that my STBX sees. She says she won't be biased but i dont believe that. I think she is going to say to the ex anything she can to help convince her that the kids need to go longer to help pad her account. The ex says she can't do that cause it is unethical. She has given me her number to interview the conselour and ask any questions. What are your feelings on allowing the kids to see a head DR? I am just at a loss about this. Thank you for the help Link to post Share on other sites
oldguy Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 (edited) My STBXW wants to take our kids to couneling. I have been to it and i really don't believe in what they say. I think they just get you hooked and they keep you coming to help build their bank accounts. I was a 'shrink' for nearly 30 years so I'm going to obviously disagree with you and if you saw my bank account you would know that wasn't my motivation:laugh: It didn't help save our marriage and didn't help me when she left. I have to sign a consent form in order for them to see her. I'm sorry for that. There are two reasons I can think of off hand. The most likely is; one or both of you where not committed to making it work, the other reason would be; the relationship was not repairable, for what could be many reasons. The major problem i have is that it is the same counelor that my STBX sees. She says she won't be biased but i dont believe that. I think she is going to say to the ex anything she can to help convince her that the kids need to go longer to help pad her account. The ex says she can't do that cause it is unethical. I'm afraid your wife is correct. I spent more time justifying my actions than taken any. You can't sneeze without someone crawling up your ars. Sorry. She has given me her number to interview the conselour and ask any questions. Put a list of questions together & go talk to her. Maybe even ask if she would recommend a neutral party or counselor, although it would probably be best to have someone familiar with the family. What are your feelings on allowing the kids to see a head DR? I am just at a loss about this. Thank you for the help I understand your feelings about shrinks but first of all, the counselor didn't ruin your marriage, you & your wife did. You are angry, hurt, emotionally confused & drained. If you didn't read anything else I said please consider this, your kids are also going through a very rough time. Their parents, their security, their whole world is coming apart & they are even more helpless & much more vulnerable than you are as an adult. This is about your kids not about you & your wife's issues. Sign the release forms, ask to be kept in the loop. Remember, you are still their dad and always will be. Think of the kids. Edited July 13, 2011 by oldguy Link to post Share on other sites
Eve Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 Even though I have my own issues regarding seeing a therapist for myself, I would agree with what Oldguy has said. Family Therapy is very good indeed! We had family therapy last year and it really helped out during a difficult patch. I would also combine it with play therapy in school if possible singly for the children. Obviously this is dependent on the age of the children. I hope that such a service is available where you live. Give it a try and see whether any of your doubts manifest. After all, they may not. Really hope you find a better place to be with all the changes that have happened within your family. All the very best, Take care, Eve x P.s *Oldguy previously a shrink. Now that is impressive* Link to post Share on other sites
beammithPaill Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 Remember Me Music watch made from Drive Angry You Again download Splice film with good quality Download Dvd Source Code Tangled Film Image Where Watch The Tourist Film How To Download Source Code The Full Movie Link to post Share on other sites
linwood Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 What are your feelings on allowing the kids to see a head DR? I am just at a loss about this. Thank you for the help No. I wouldn`t allow my kids near a shrink without being present myself. Your initial instincts are correct. Don`t sign any consent form. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 A Therapist is a Person too, they don't work miracles nor are they super empowered. They are ultimately trained to work thru issues and "guide" /Transistion the children thru hardships. Given the dynamics of the family some therapist are well apt at the job and some will basically refer the family to another well trained associate. My youngest son had some difficulty adjusting to the divorce and a family illness that came right at the same time. It blind sided that kid into a whirlwind of emotions and being tossed between abandonment and trust. I NEVER regretted the Group therapy given or how he came out of his shell from it. He is still a quiet, reserved son, yet he is also more adjusted to life's pitfalls. I concur with the others, sign the release form so the healing for the KIDS can begin. Link to post Share on other sites
Audrina Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 I'm an adult now and have been seeing my therapist since I was a kid. Just because you don't believe in it, doesn't mean that it might not help your children. Let them have a chance, therapist really don't want to make you keep coming back to pad their bank accounts, trust me there are enough crazy people out there, they don't really need you. Link to post Share on other sites
oldguy Posted July 14, 2011 Share Posted July 14, 2011 P.s *Oldguy previously a shrink. Now that is impressive* Shhhhh, don't tell anyone A Therapist is a Person too, they don't work miracles nor are they super empowered.Some of us are:p They are ultimately trained to work thru issues and "guide" /Transistion the children thru hardships. Given the dynamics of the family some therapist are well apt at the job and some will basically refer the family to another well trained associate.Thank you, I don't think people realize this, I referred cases all of the time & had them referred to me as well. I also worked for an association and we would meet regularly to review each others cases & progress as well as collectively consider each case. I concur with the others, sign the release form so the healing for the KIDS can begin. I'm an adult now and have been seeing my therapist since I was a kid. Just because you don't believe in it, doesn't mean that it might not help your children. Let them have a chance, therapist really don't want to make you keep coming back to pad their bank accounts, trust me there are enough crazy people out there, they don't really need you. This is so true, there are review boards that scrutinize everything you do, especially long term cases. Not to mention insurance company review boards. As I mentioned earlier, if you saw my bank account you would know, I sure wasn't in it for the money. In fact I work with social statistics as an assistant that is financed mainly under a university grant program now and one of the reasons IS for the money & much better hours. Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted July 14, 2011 Share Posted July 14, 2011 The VERY FIRST thing I would do if I were getting a divorce is take my kids to a therapist. YOUR opinion should not cloud the potential help a child will get when his world is turned upside down. If you don't trust the therapist, go with them the first time. But don't you dare stop them from going! Link to post Share on other sites
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