Anyone Here Ever Had To Deal With An Old Enemy At Their Place Of Employment ?

[TG4MJ]

We had a fight on sight relationship that started in middle school and went into our early 20's. The rivalry we had was one of those real and raw hatreds for each other that you rarely see in children. It started off as him bullying me, then escalated when I started, well, fighting back. I don't know how to explain it, I mean, I hung out with tough crowds, it didn't slow him down, I bulked up significantly in high school, it didn't slow him down, as soon as I became a legal adult and consequently old enough to purchase and carry weapons, MFer didn't even flinch. He even had the audacity to laugh when I pulled a knife on him, demanding that "if I pull a knife on him I better kill him." Nothing could sway him from bullying me and nothing could sway me from fearing him. Things finally ended when for one reason or another he allegedly got locked up.

 

Despite the fact that I stood up to him and refused to show him I was afraid of him as a teenager, in all reality, I was. He scarred me physically and phsychologically. Of all the men I ever stood up to, he is probably one of the only ones that I still have nightmares about. I spent almost a decade of my young life always on edge, wondering if he'd ever do something sneaky or low class in an attempt to get me, and he's the reason I decided to become efficient with edged and impact weapons and best believe that until this day I never leave the house without having either on my person.

 

On Monday, after returning to work from my lunch, I came back to work to see several new hires milling around the entrance area waiting for what I assume were new hire badges from the front desk............ And guess who was among them ? We both stared each other down as we have so many times before, in plain view of other new hires and even security, though it was brief as the entrance is rather small. I have no idea how to deal with this guys. I'm still not scared of him, quite frankly It's more the uncertainty of how this will all play out. Would he really be mature and professional and, for lack of a better terms, not f*** with me ? Or will this be like high school all over again ? Do guys like this ever really change to begin with ? Thoughts ? Opinions ? Useful advice ?

[oldguy]

I have been involved in martial arts since I was 13 or 14 & it has probably kept me out of more trouble than ever got me into. I will tell you; if you use a weapon on someone who is unarmed, even if it's in self defense you should be prepared to face some serious legal consequences. You have to find another way than that.

 

Back in my early twenties I beat down a dude in a bar. The only reason he dropped his lawsuit against me was because my attorney demanded a jury trial & he was 6' 3" to 6' 4" & I'm barely 5' 9" & there was no jury that would be sympathetic to him getting his nose broke by me. If his lawyer had been a little more on his game & discovered I was very accomplished in martial arts at the time things may have gone differently. This is the real world with real consequences, you can't go around beating on people, especially with weapons.

 

How long has it been since the two of you have seen one another, I mean prier to seeing him at work?

 

Shortly after he dropped his suit I heard rumors he was going to 'get me', nothing ever happen but I was a lot more careful for a long time. Come to think of it, I had run into that same guy a couple of times after & it resulted in a stare down probably much like the one you recently had. That was all more than 30 years ago, closer to 35. I guess both of us must have grown up. Maybe that will happen to you two.

Good luck.

Edited July 13, 2011 by oldguy

[marqueemoon4]

man, that really, really sucks. the good news is you're already established there and he's the fresh fish. if he acts up or talks smack he'll look like a scumbag and jeopardize his job. I would just see how he behaves.. I don't think it helps you to stare the guy down every time you see him, I would do my best to ignore him and hope he doesn't act hostile.

[Lemontang]

Agreed that does suck. But since your in the adult world now, do the adult thing and be the professional one. If he does try to intimidate you, fight the same way any other adult would in the work place, go to HR!

 

Better yet, I'd even mention to HR before any issues come about that the two of you have a history. At least then if things do hit the fan you've already covered yourself initially by voicing your concerns in advance.

 

Animosity between two people that now work together doesn't make for a healthy workplace environment and stifles productivity.

[mickleb]

Agreed that does suck. But since your in the adult world now, do the adult thing and be the professional one. If he does try to intimidate you, fight the same way any other adult would in the work place, go to HR!

 

Better yet, I'd even mention to HR before any issues come about that the two of you have a history. At least then if things do hit the fan you've already covered yourself initially by voicing your concerns in advance.

 

Animosity between two people that now work together doesn't make for a healthy workplace environment and stifles productivity.

 

Hi TG. I hope you're well.

 

Lemontang is talking sense, here. You don't have to take matters into your own hands all your life. There are systems in place to protect people from bullying. I hope you can use them so you don't have to let this guy affect you any more.

 

Good luck.

 

x

[Eeyore79]

How closely would you be working with this guy? Will he just be in the same building but not working with you? Also how old are you - is it a long time since you last saw him?

 

I would definitely inform HR of the situation, just so they're aware. The other guy might be as worried as you are - he just found out his old enemy works for his new employer. Maybe it would be good for them to get the two of you together in a supervised meeting, and just get a handshake and a verbal agreement that you'll act in a mature and professional way and put the past behind you now that you're grown ups. They can also take steps to make sure you don't end up working together.