Difficult time finding a relationship.

[BadgerAL]

Im a 22 year old male, Im going for my senior year of college next fall and I still havent found myself in a relationship. I find it difficult because it is something I am really longing for is to find a beautiful woman who cares about me, and now that I see my friends starting to settle down and are in steady relationships I reminds me everyday of what I don't have. While I have had sex with 6 different girls throughout my life, I find myself feeling a void in my life and that is the actual relationship.

 

 

Some of the negative things I've been told from women (no directly word for word by just to summarize and get to the points)

Too Short (5'9), Too stubborn, Too selfish, My clothes, I'm a hick, I care about sports too much, I'm an angry person, I'm too nice, My body (I am slim and have a flat stomach, I just dont have rock hard six pack abs).

 

Some other problems I do have is that I am picky, I care about looks I cannot help it. If I don't find the girl attractive I dont care to talk to her. I also have not cared to much about making friends with girls, especially if they are in relationships.

 

Basically Im just looking for some helpful feedback or suggestions on what actions I should take, what I should do to better myself, or where I should be looking.

Edited July 14, 2011 by BadgerAL
spelling error in title

[UpDownAllAround]

I'm in the same boat. I'm 31 and still trying to find my first relationship since I was old enough to legally be able to do so. And I haven't even been picky!

 

It really sucks when you see guys who are way fatter and uglier than you'll ever be get into relationships without any freaking effort!

[lovemachine99]

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[KathyM]

Im a 22 year old male, Im going for my senior year of college next fall and I still havent found myself in a relationship. I find it difficult because it is something I am really longing for is to find a beautiful woman who cares about me, and now that I see my friends starting to settle down and are in steady relationships I reminds me everyday of what I don't have. While I have had sex with 6 different girls throughout my life, I find myself feeling a void in my life and that is the actual relationship.

 

 

Some of the negative things I've been told from women (no directly word for word by just to summarize and get to the points)

Too Short (5'9), Too stubborn, Too selfish, My clothes, I'm a hick, I care about sports too much, I'm an angry person, I'm too nice, My body (I am slim and have a flat stomach, I just dont have rock hard six pack abs).

 

Some other problems I do have is that I am picky, I care about looks I cannot help it. If I don't find the girl attractive I dont care to talk to her. I also have not cared to much about making friends with girls, especially if they are in relationships.

 

Basically Im just looking for some helpful feedback or suggestions on what actions I should take, what I should do to better myself, or where I should be looking.

Well, I think the place to look is at your college. Lots of available young women there you can meet. Start talking to some of them in your classes, before or after class, and around the campus. Of course, there are a lot of other places to meet women, but college is one of the best places there is. Then do something about the negative items you mentioned. If you are indeed stubborn, selfish and angry, that doesn't make for a very desirable boyfriend. You need to work on those. Start working out. Women love men with nice muscles. It's one of the first things that attracted me to my husband. He lifted weights and did gymnastics, so he had (and still has) a well defined, muscular body. Improve your wardrobe. Develop some interests that girls would find interesting. Nothing you can do about your height. Some girls want tall men, but there are plenty of girls that would be satisfied with your height. If pretty girls are what you are after, you're going to have to improve all these things about you, because pretty girls are very picky as well.

[BadgerAL]

Kathy,

I apperciate the feedback. I agree with your point about going to the gym. I do need to get jacked (more muscular) and a rock hard six pack abs. because that really does seem to be important to girls. Just as I like girls to be in shape. It's not like Im a disgusting fat body, I am in healthy shape and I am fit I just am not ripped muscular is all.

 

however just to clarify with the clothes thing, it's not like im wearing rags, it's just im not wearing all american eagle or hollister (or other expensive brand) stuff since i dont have the budget to spend on those clothes nor do I feel the need to have to buy overpriced brands.

 

Also just curious as far as suggestions for hobbies I should attempt to gain girls interest? Also any suggestions yoy may have to improve myself?

[Damien]

Hiya Badger

 

 

I've had a similar situation a few months ago and I'm also currently working on my own situation before going out in the dating world.

 

 

Hmm, I don't think America should be all THAT different from the UK but would six-pack abs be really necessary? . Yeah it's a turn on for most women but a lot don't even care (as long as you're not overweight or something).

 

One suggestion I would give to you however, DO make friends with girls, even if they are in relationships. You'll find talking to other women easier and you'll get more confident (trust me, it works!). Hell, you may even end up being introduced to their single friends too.

 

As for hobbies, this is something you're going to have to ask yourself and figure out. I was in this situation a few months back but the hobbies I've picked out were Martial Arts, Track & Field / Running and Guitar (to name a few). Hobbies are something that well, y'know..defines you.

 

Hope this helped bud, good luck

[Ross MwcFan]

The fact that you don't care about making friends with girls could be your stumbling block, as most relationships start out from friendships.

[Ross MwcFan]

I agree. I'm always surprised when I hear people online say that 5'8 or 5'9 is short.

 

I'm 5'9 myself, and at least over here in the UK, that's above average height.

 

Whenever I'm amongst other people, I can see that most of them are shorter than me.

[0hpenelope]

The kind of attitude I have with relationships is I don't really put in the effort to find one. The ones that have ever meant anything to me are the ones that just happened. I think my attitude of being receptive to either happening (with "either" being meeting a guy I'm attracted to or being single) is what helps me because I don't really mind being alone. There are lots of sources of love.

 

I think I'm in a good place for attracting someone, actually. It's always when I least expect it when a guy with interest drops by. Blah! Leave me alone, I have things to do.

 

Good luck to you, OP.

[BadgerAL]

I Apperciate the feedback Im getting.

 

I should work on establishing more friendships with girls. Seems to be the most common response on what I need to work on.

 

I guess the point with the clothes thing is I have to look nice to the girls, when Im out at the bars and other events where I could meet girls. I'm getting help from a friend with the clothes situation.

 

While I do work out occasionaly I guess I have to really push the enevople in the gym and with sculpting my body. Cause right now Im not doing a great job attracting good looking women.

 

I guess I consider myself short atleast at the college I go to Girls really do prefer taller guys like 6'1 to 6'2. Nothing I can do about the height thing, thou is what it is.

 

Wish me luck!

[xisnotx]

Just do you. If you like to work out, work out. If not, don't. Wear the clothes you want to. The right girl will find you, but you have to give her the chance to. Go do something, in college this means partying..go party. Put yourself out there...eventually a girl will be interested.

 

Find a group of guys and just have a good time.