What would you do?

[floydgondoli]

Dealing with the whole time and space issue.

 

We have been split for 6 months and ended our relationship due to taking each other for granted and constant bickering in the end. We have tried to talk and work things out but feel that the emotion and past bitter feelings have not been let go of.

 

She says:

 

1) she needs time to herself to figure out what she wants (she has been in relationships with her ex- for 5 years and me shortly after for 4 years). She says she just wants to figure out what she wants and spend a little time by herself.

 

2) she does not know if we can live together in the future b/c of the fighting in the end. We lived togther for 3 years and it only started getting bad in the end. Just arguing, nothing else.

 

3) she tells me not to wait. she says this would not be fair to me and that it would place expectations on our time apart. she says that she does not want to see anyone else and that she knows that she may lose me.

 

4) she still tells me she loves me and misses me. she always wants me in her life she says. she just needs a break.

 

5) she always asks if I am seeing someone else. I still always say no.

 

6) she says not to rule anything out in the future. she says that she knows she will miss me and will be dying to talk to me in the future. she thinks that there is always a chance to reconcile. she always thought her future would be with me.

 

she asked that we not talk for a while so that she can sort her feelings out. I am giving that to her. It has been 3 weeks since we last spoke.

 

My question is this: when do you follow your heart and try to stay true to the one woman who makes you want to spend the rest of your life with her and when do you give up and move on?

 

I am trying to find the inspiration to stay grounded and look at the positives. Anything worth your love is worth suffering for. However, the uncertainty and the loneliness that comes with it is killing me.

 

What would you do? Would you keep the faith (I am going on with my life and meeting people and having fun, but some days the void is just too much) or would you just jump ship and hope for the best with someone else's heart?

 

Any advice would be appreciated. Looking for a little inspiration

[julieg]

floyd- you have no choice here. you Have to move on as if she is not coming back. you will be letting opportunities pass you by if you wait for her which could be a long time.

 

she no doubt loves you but she is not telling you something. the constant bickering- could it be originating from her mostly? it may be her way of distancing slowly from you, so you wont miss her as much. i know girls who had used that cowardly tactic.

 

i think she is basically letting you off to see if there is anything better out there. i bet she is just not ready to commit at this point in her life with anyone. julie

[floydgondoli]

JulieG

 

Thanks for the advice.