Itscomplicated27 Posted July 14, 2011 Share Posted July 14, 2011 I hope to keep this quite short. I’ve known Paul for 10 or so years he was my boyfriend at the time friend. I had been with my partner for nearly 8 years but last October we decided to split, the relationship wasn’t going anywhere. All the time of my relationship I had always had a laugh with Paul and my boyfriend; last November Paul and I had a very emotional conversation about what we thought of each other (was a drunken conversation mind!) The days that followed we continued to text/chat on the phone and became quite flirty with each other, eventually we gave into temptation and finally slept together. We have been chatting seeing each other every so often ever since and have become quite close, he knows what I think of him it’s just so complicated as we are all still friends, I really don’t know what to do Sometimes Paul will be sweet saying he wants us to be together and that he would tell my ex, his ex (whom I’m friends with) other times he will go cold. I have tried to end this on numerous occasions but we always seem to find a way back to each other. Approximately a month ago, I went on another date and all during the evening I had Paul texting me saying how he cares, was jealous etc. Now this is what I don’t understand he still talks to his ex and we are so honest with each other that he has said he would like to get back with her, but in the next breath says it’s me he wants?? Every time I have tried to end things he just comes out with I’ll tell him/her, what makes it most difficult is that my ex and I are god parents to his child and I’m friends with his ex, so it would be very COMPLICATED!!!! I have now finally had enough as I can’t be sure what he thinks, feels etc and not sure of the best way to say its over- I really would like to go back to being friends but I just cant see this being possible ;-( How do you stay strong and say enough is enough? And mean it, even though they’re in your thoughts all the time. Sorry if this is long and boring I just need to have a rant! lol Link to post Share on other sites
east coast edward Posted July 14, 2011 Share Posted July 14, 2011 You don't - its not final conclusions that you want, its actual honest communication. Its really difficult loving a friend, especially one with many other connections. Could it be that he doen't know what he wants, or rather he does but is so totally confused that he can't see it. I bet he sometimes seems remote because he's ducking the issue so as not to pressure you. I'd just tell him that you can't go on like this, and lay all the options on the table. Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted July 16, 2011 Share Posted July 16, 2011 I'm a bit confused as to whether you want to end this because you don't feel he's the right guy for you or whether it's because sometimes he 'goes cold' and he still talks about wanting to get back with his ex. Could you clarify please whether you would want this guy if he was consistent in wanting you? Link to post Share on other sites
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